You Didn't Tell Me
by preposterousnotion
Summary: Rachel wants to go to NYU to tick off another stage in the life she has meticulously planned out for her and Finn. Puck just wants to tick off every girl in college on the list of people he hasn't slept with yet.  AU Puckleberry futurefic.
1. Chapter 1

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: So I'm trying something different. An AU Puckleberry futurefic. Please let me know what you think !

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Rachel looked round at the small dorm room once more, nodding in satisfaction that she had arranged all of her stuff in a tidy and organised fashion, leaving only a neat pile of freshly printed photographs on the desk that was along one side of the room.

She turned to these photographs now, and flicked through them just to remind herself of how ingenious her selection had been, just the right amount of those showing her posing next to Finn (always when he was sitting down, so that she didn't look quite so small beside him). Any more and it screamed 'I have a boyfriend and I don't want to know anyone else'. Any less and the male sector of college would be led to think that she was perhaps not settled on keeping Finn as a boyfriend. (Which she was, she was already planning their wedding for god's sake, and would be well on the way to naming their children if it were not so difficult to find names that complimented both of their's!)

She swished her hair in the mirror as she walked past, and smiled because everything was just so great. She had worked really hard to get here. Though, a great majority of the hard work had been focussed on getting Finn there too, so that everything in her life plan would begin to slot nicely into place.

The perfect course of performing arts at NYU. The perfect background in music and theatre to give her excellent advantage at the start of the course. The perfect boyfriend attending the same college on a football scholarship.

All that was left was for her to step back and let everything happen just how she had planned it.

Talking about the perfect boyfriend, her phone jumped and buzzed on the desk.

_Finn: Come find my room._

**Rachel: Okay… Which room number are you? x**

There was a delay, long enough to suggest that Finn had had to check the door to find out the answer to her question.

She smiled at the thought of officially starting the next chapter of their life together. They had travelled separately, and she hadn't seen him for a couple of days.

_Finn: 307._

_

* * *

_

She assumed her best 'Finn Hudson you are truly honoured to have this girl as your girlfriend, and will be graciously rewarded for waiting for the relationship to be moved to the next level' smile, and rapped smartly on the open door of 307.

A gruff, "The door's open- duh", that she didn't think belonged to her boyfriend met her.

There was a stranger sitting on the bed, spinning a football in his hands, chewing gum in that cocky way that only guys with as prominently carved bone structure as he had could pull off. He looked at her with a smirk.

"Checkin' out the 'hawk?" He asked lazily, shifting his position against the wall and surveying her as though he was hungry and was deciding what to eat at a canteen.

Rachel, remembering herself, and not at all trying to decide whether it was best to describe his eyes as 'chestnut' or 'hazel', brought herself up to her full height.

"Of course not", she replied primly.

He smirked again, something which she was quickly finding infuriating.

"I grew it back before I came to college", he informed her, rubbing his fingers through the strip of hair as he said this. "To give something for chicks to grab onto during a rough ride".

He laughed easily when her eyes grew wide and she spluttered with disbelief.

"S'Puck", he said, sticking his hand out.

She eyed it suspiciously for a moment.

"You're supposed to shake", he said dryly, "It's not trick, I may be a sex shark, but I'm not one of those creeps who would go to shake and pull you in for a quick fondle".

She suppressed gasp, but was unable to stop herself from asking, "People actually do that?"

She shook his hand timidly, and he shrugged.

"What's your real name?" She asked.

He frowned.

"It's Puck", he repeated.

At that moment Rachel felt a big clumsy hand on her shoulder.

"Hey Rach!"

"Finn? Where have you been?"

"I went to your room! But you weren't there".

She decided to let that one go.

Puck cleared his throat dramatically.

Finn smiled sweetly at him and turned back to Rachel.

"Dude", Puck said, "Stop ignoring me man".

"Oh, Rachel, this is Noah Puckerman, Puck, this is Rachel".

Noah groaned and slapped his forehead at Rachel's triumphant grin.

"I'm Finn's girlfriend", she added. "_Noah_".

Noah glared at her darkly before raising an eyebrow at Finn.

"You didn't tell me you had girlfriend dude", he stated.

Finn turned worriedly to Rachel. "That's not bad- is it?"

Rachel didn't answer quickly enough, as Noah was already offering a reply.

"Finn man, in the first 5 minutes of meeting, I told you all the names of the girls in this college who I hadn't slept with", he winked slyly at Rachel, "It was quicker than doing it the other way round…"

"That's what she said", Finn slipped in, and Noah held his hand up for a high-five.

Rachel made an angry noise in the back of her throat.

"Finn, I would appreciate it if you would at least mention my name every now and again", she said sarcastically, "It is on the list I gave you".

"List?" Noah scoffed, with a smirk.

"Yeah… I think I lost that", Finn said, scratching the back of his head.

"You promised…" Rachel began, quietly.

"You do talk a lot Rach", Finn argued, "You can hardly expect me to listen all the time!"

"I don't", she said, "No-one ever does. But it would be nice if you would listen when I am talking about us".

She sighed. "Anyway, I promised my dads that I would ring to tell them I how everything is going so far".

She turned to Finn expectantly, but subtlety was sadly lost on him.

* * *

When she had left, Puck turned immediately to Finn.

"Dude- why the fuck have you not had sex with her yet?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me".

Finn looked down at his feet, wondering how his big toe was sticking out of his socks when they were a new pair on that morning.

"How do you know?" He questioned.

"I just do", Puck explained, "It's one of my gifts as a badass stud. That girl's a virgin and she is holding on tight to her v-card".

"She's a bit of a prude", Finn said.

Puck snorted. "Erm… So I've never had a girlfriend, but you're definitely not supposed to tell a brother you've known for all of 2 and a half hours, that you think your girlfriend is a prude".

Finn looked confused.

"This is the point where you're supposed to tell me how great she is", Puck said slowly.

"Oh okay".

There was a silence.

"So, you've never had a girlfriend? But you've slept with, like, every one!"

Puck smirked, nodding modestly.

"I don't do the dating shit", he explained casually. "Too much like hard work. And this way, I can never get accused of cheating".

Finn raised his eyebrows, interested.

"I didn't know having sex with other people didn't count as cheating".

Puck ignored him.

"I have needs", he finished, throwing the ball in the air and catching it deftly.

"It is such hard work", Finn confided, taking a seat on his own bed a few feet away. "And I haven't even managed to get her to stop wearing those weird reindeer jumpers yet".

"I'd love to sit here and listen to your marital problems man", Puck yawned, "But I got chicks to charm and the bar is open until midnight".

He was going to make the most of college. Starting straight away. And no hot midgets and their freakishly tall boyfriends were going to stop him.

* * *

Please Review :)


	2. Chapter 2

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"So can I buy you lovely ladies a drink", he said smoothly, slipping onto the bench next to them.

He winked at the familiar brunette furthest away from him, and she flicked her hair coyly in response, lifting her middle finger in his direction.

"It may have escaped your notice", the tall Asian guy said, looking slightly annoyed at the way Puck was mentally undressing the ditzy blond sitting to his left, "But none of us are old enough to drink, and the bar is only serving us energy drinks and non-alcoholic cocktails".

Puck grinned.

He stuck his hand out. "Puck".

"Mike", the other guy returned. "This is Santana and Brittany… And Brittany, I have only just met you, so do you think you could stop touching my butt?"

Puck laughed.

"I'll be right back".

* * *

He returned a few minutes later, and raised his eyebrows questioningly at Mike's stunned expression.

"What's up dude?"

"Erm… There's no normal way to say this… Brittany was just proving to me that she could in fact get both of her legs behind her head."

"You did ask", Santana pointed out. "Plus- it's totally hot".

Mike looked from Puck to his drink and back.

"Dude- that's beer".

"I know. I just bought it". He rolled his eyes and, knocked back half the glass, just to see if the guy's eyes could get wider, which, evidently, they could.

"Oh- hey Puck!"

Puck nodded once at his roommate, wondered briefly where smalls was, then turned his attention back to his drink.

"Finn -Brittany-Mike-Santana", he introduced shortly.

Finn frowned thoughtfully at Santana for a moment, as though he wasn't sure if he recognised her or had mistaken her for someone he knew.

He shook himself, and took the spare stool next to Puck.

There was a lull in conversation, as they each tried to think of ice-breakers other than 'what's your name?', 'what's your major?' and 'where do you come from?'.

"Is that..?" Finn asked, gesturing to his glass.

"Why the fuck shouldn't it be?" Puck snapped, "I'm 21, I want to drink a pint, and the fucking bartender can see from just over there that I'm not buying it for any of you lot!"

He scowled disgustedly and stood up abruptly, sending one last look around the circle to challenge anyone to ask any further questions, before pushing through the gathering throng of people around the pool table, over to the quieter corner of the bar.

Here he could look like he was watching the flat screen television, preventing unwanted approaches or the risk of any small talk being directed in his direction.

* * *

Rachel stepped into the bar, immediately feeling out of place in a social situation where she wasn't comfortable in expressing herself.

She spotted Finn, and made her way over to him, snippets of their conversation reaching her.

"I've heard he's an escaped convict", Finn hissed, and, intrigued, she followed the direction of their gazes of wonderment, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline as she recognised the hunched figure sitting behind a leather sofa on the windowsill, a drink in his hand.

"Oh hey Rach", Finn offered vaguely, "He's a what?"

"Dad", Santana repeated, conspiratorially.

"Noah?" Rachel asked.

"Puck", Santana confirmed.

"You look familiar…" Rachel began, studying Santana carefully, but was interrupted.

"We used to have sex", Santana continued, matter of factly, and Rachel assumed she was talking about Noah, not about herself. "But then he knocked this girl up and started getting all emotional and shit, and it just wasn't fun anymore".

Finn nodded wisely, but stopped when Rachel flashed him a look.

"Then what happened?" Rachel asked, and there was something hauntingly familiar about the way Noah was sitting, trying not to draw attention to himself, trying to melt into the background. She had been there.

"Baby mama got the kid adopted and didn't tell him, then moved to California. Puck followed her, and I dunno really what happened, apart from that he joined my senior year and graduated, and got in here".

"You served us candy floss at that theme park at the beginning of summer", Rachel said suddenly.

Santana frowned.

"What?"

"You must be thinking of someone else", Finn said quickly, "I've never seen her before".

Santana coughed, in a way that sounded strangely like "3 minutes", and an awkward silence fell over the group.

"He looks sad", Brittany said thoughtfully, "Maybe I should go kiss him better".

"He doesn't do kissing and shit", Santana said, smirking. "No strings or nothing".

Rachel chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"He still has feelings", she said quietly.

Santana scoffed, and Finn joined in.

"He told me my hair was like a 5 year old girl", Finn said first.

"You said that about my hair", Rachel pointed out, "And then tried to maintain that it was a compliment".

"Let's play pool", Mike suggested, noticing that the game had finished and the table was being vacated.

They started a knockout tournament, and Rachel was the first to lose, her thoughts with the almost lost expression that was only slightly visible behind the defensive bars and preceding reputation fortifications around the mysterious Noah Puckerman.

She slipped onto the window sill next to him, the cool wood welcome against the warm skin of her thighs.

She knew he'd seen her, it was the 'take a quick scan of the room as though you are waiting for someone'. She thought she'd invented that.

He took a swig from his plastic pint glass, and placed it beside him, wiping his mouth on his hand, and staring intently at the tv for several minutes.

Rachel reached her hand out and took the cup, sipping at it gently before sliding it back beside him.

"What the fuck?"

"Budweiser", she observed, "Unless I am very much mistaken".

He raised his eyebrow.

"I have two gay dads", she said, as though this explained everything, "I was taught to appreciate the range and variety of alcoholic beverages from a young age." She paused. "It was one of the hobbies that I stopped as soon as I started dating Finn, because he really didn't deserve me to be even more of an outcast that I already was. Sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to do for the greater good. I'm sure you know that".

She hadn't meant to waffle on so much, just felt that she should fill the silence, somehow send him subliminal messages that he wasn't alone. Somehow tell him that she wanted to help him.

She got the impression that he wasn't going to accept her help easily.

"Fuck off", he growled, "The BFG will be looking for you".

"No he won't", Rachel said automatically, "I understand that we are two very different people and need space apart to be timetabled into our relationship".

"You're a freak", he said, but there was no malice in his words, and she just smiled inanely.

His eyes drifted down her tanned legs, lingering at her dainty ankles, before raking back up again.

He deliberately turned himself away then, but she just sat there,

"You didn't tell me about yourself", she said gently, and he knew she must have heard some of the rumours circling around.

He grunted. "You didn't ask".

Instead of elaborating, he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, and removed a dog eared photograph, pushing it across the window sill towards her.

Rachel's heart clenched at the toddler's toothless grin at the camera, her eyes with that same haunting warmth that his had.

"What's her name?" She asked, and her voice was a lot more soft and gentle than she had realised.

"Beth", he answered shortly, and she could have imagined that he let down that tough exterior for a second, for he snatched back the photo and scowled at her.

"Now are you going to take me back to my room or what? 'Cos I have no idea where that freakin' giant boyfriend of yours is".

She nodded slowly, and got to her feet without a word.

* * *

Please Review :)


	3. Chapter 3

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee

AN: I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this :) Thank you for the reviews! Very sorry for the update delay, had a bit of tonsilitis :(

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"If I got you pregnant, like, right now, would you get the kid adopted?"

She lost her walking rhythm for a second, recovered, and jogged a few steps to catch up with his long, stumbling strides.

"It's not a decision that I would be able to take lightly", she said carefully, "I would need to think deeply about all the options available to me".

He huffed.

"It's left here", she pointed out quietly, grabbing his arm, feeling all the muscles tensed and bulging.

"You didn't even fucking question that I was theoretically about to rape you", he spat out.

"You wouldn't rape me", she said, wondering herself why she was so confident about that.

He suddenly wrenched her arm to his chest, the rest of her body following, stopped only from falling against him by his hand roughly supporting her hip.

"Oh really?" He hissed dangerously.

He was simmering with a flurry of emotions, his eyes constantly flicking with specks of dark green, and his hard muscular form tensed and warm.

"You wouldn't", she said again, "And there are other ways of dealing with things than sex and alcohol".

He let her go, with a short angry exhale, and she watched the marks his fingers had made on her arm fade.

"Like what?" He questioned sarcastically.

"Like singing", she replied, not missing a beat.

He gave a bark of short laughter.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me".

She frowned; they had stopped walking now, and were just standing in the deserted corridor.

"I'm not kidding".

"Well, fuck that. I'm no fucking girl".

She shrugged, then remembered something.

"But there's a guitar in your room?"

"Doesn't mean I sing", he countered.

He rolled his shoulders and winced.

"Singing's for people who aren't badass enough to play an instrument".

"I sing", Rachel put in, "I find it helps me travel to a place where the world accepts me for who I am; a world where people don't judge me so quickly…"

She trailed off, because he was surveying her with an expression that could only be described as absolute understanding and empathy.

"Music is a brilliant therapy", she continued, when he switched to staring at the scuffed ends of his shoes, scowling because he could so easily let his guard down with this girl. "Why do you play the guitar? Surely you must find it somewhat therapeutic?"

"I play the guitar to get into chicks' pants", he smirked.

Rachel found she had to stop herself from rebuking that surely he didn't need any help with that? She felt suddenly flustered.

"You have a voice that would be very suited to singing".

He just scoffed.

"No really! It's… velvety and deep…"

It would very much compliment her own voice. And if he was a strong singer, he may well be the ideal duet partner with whom to compile a repertoire of duets for the future, as her voice was really too powerful to match with Finn's.

She began walking again, trying to interrupt her flow of thought.

It was only because she was approaching readiness to move her and Finn's relationship to the next level that she was suddenly feeling a rush of hormones sending tiny alarms off all over her body, reliably informing her that Noah Puckerman was sinfully attractive.

"I should probably eat somethin'", he said moodily, "haven't really all day".

"Then you most definitely should", Rachel agreed. "And it will help you to sober up a bit".

"I'm not drunk", he scoffed. "If you think I'm drunk you've obviously never been drunk before".

"I don't have to be drunk to enjoy myself", she said primly.

"Don't tell me- singing again?"

She ignored him, instead leading him into the common room, pushing the door handle with her elbow, and backing against the door to open it, something which Puck suddenly found incredibly hot.

"What the fuck we doin' in here?"

He couldn't understand why he was still there, following this tiny piece of hot around like a stray puppy, when he had totally got the whole 'lone ranger' thing down by now, and he didn't need anybody to give him guidance.

He was fucking Noah Puckerman.

So why did he continue to shadow her, his hands flying forward when she tripped slightly over the edge of the carpet where it divided onto linoleum.

She righted herself without his help, and he shoved his hands in his pockets and stared back at his shoes.

He wondered if the giant git could get her to make all kinds of amazing noises he was sure she was capable of, by pressing gentle lips to that slither of bare skin between skirt and jumper.

He was only thinking these things because he hadn't got any in a while. The realisation of fatherhood and the domino effect careless actions had caused just made any easy chick flashing him the eyes from the other side of the room look like a pile of information leaflets on adoption and birth control and pregnancy.

He maintained girls just weren't falling into bed with him because his reputation meant they were scared they wouldn't be able to keep up.

It was a weak shot and he knew it. There were only so many times he could bring up the story about the two Russian dancers to put the right awestruck reverence back into his listeners.

"I'm making you a sandwich", she said, as though he had asked a stupid question. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

He frowned.

"You know, I wasn't probin' for you to get me food".

"Oh".

She paused for a moment, thinking about this, as though she wasn't sure what to make of talking to someone who said exactly what he meant and didn't try and mean anything more than what he said.

"Then you can help me", she said decidedly.

He obediently held his hands out to receive the loaf of bread and cheese she took out of the fridge.

"Property of Rachel Berry. Do not eat unless you have the necessary funds to replace". He read aloud, laughter in his voice.

She glared at him.

"I have read that it is very common to have one's food used without permission".

He rolled his eyes.

"This isn't even fucking real cheese", he retorted, "Nobody would want to eat this crap… s'from a fuckin' _goat_".

"It's good for you", she said lightly, taking a plate from a cupboard above her head. "You didn't tell me that you had an aversion to healthy nutritious snacks".

His stomach rumbled.

"As long as it's edible I don't give a shit", he said gruffly.

She carefully took out 4 pieces of bread, passing him a knife and the cheese.

"Cut a few slices", she instructed, "you don't need much it's quite strong".

"You eatin' too?" he asked, gesturing to the 4 pieces.

She shook her head. "It's all for you. I don't tend to need to snack at 11.30 in the evening."

There was a silence, the only noise the sound of the knife hitting the plate.

"How come you're doin' all this?" He asked abruptly.

She sighed.

"It's either this or stay back there. I don't really appreciate an environment where in 2 seconds, Finn can burp the alphabet and gain 20 new friends, and I just fade into the background."

"You can't always be the centre of attention", he returned harshly.

She flinched.

He'd struck a nerve, and if anybody asked, he wouldn't admit to it, but he felt guilty.

"It's not about being the centre of attention", she said quietly.

"What is it about then?" He asked bluntly.

She looked him straight in the eye, and the fiery determination she communicated made him feel a sudden respect for her, a respect that he thought he could only give to those with more impressive sex tales than him.

"It's about making other people happy", she answered. "And I can't do that if they don't even give me a chance".

He took the plate from the sideboard and sat down on one of the tired couches.

She didn't follow at first, and a slight smile ghosted her lips.

"One day, a whole audience will stand for my performance. I will make every single one of their faces light up into smiles. Every single person will forget one of the times they felt like they weren't allowed to feel happy".

He tried desperately to make some kind of sex joke, as his heart was heavy from this insight, and he realised he wasn't feeling quite so sorry for himself anymore.

"If you're that good, maybe I should listen to you sing sometime", he instead managed, not sure if that was the right thing to say, and hoping it was.

She beamed at him, and a warmth flooded round his body.

"That would be great! Thank you Noah".

"S'no problem", he muttered, through a mouthful of sandwich.

* * *

Please Review :)


	4. Chapter 4

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I do not own 'Love the Way You Lie' by Eminem and Rihanna, or 'Takin' Back My Love' by Enrique Iglesias feat Ciara.

AN: Please Review!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 4**

He finished every last crumb on the plate. Okay, so maybe cheese from a goat wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Thanks for the sandwiches".

"You're welcome".

She watched him wash up the plate and knife. It may have been because she was watching, but he was meticulous in his actions.

He must have felt her gaze drifting over his well-muscled back, as he flicked his eyes to hers briefly, with a fleeting smile that was something quite different from that signature smirk.

It was then she realised something.

He was the first person to _ask_ to hear her sing. Her dads, of course, had both paid satisfactory attention to her ambitions, attending school performances and taking her to various extra-curricular classes until she could drive herself.

But for everyone else her singing had just been thrust upon them, without them requesting such favour.

"Can you hear me sing now?" She asked timidly.

What if in the morning he'd forgotten?

He raised his eyebrows. "It's nearly midnight", he pointed out, "I need my beauty sleep".

She nodded, and that hopeful flame died in her eyes, and something made him put his hand on her arm and smile encouragingly.

"I'm such a stud a few minutes won't make a difference".

Every part of her face shone with gratitude.

There was a heart of gold in there somewhere. She could see flecks of it in his eyes right then.

He felt like he should go leave a few toilet seats up, just to get the balance of his world back. Why was it so frickin' easy to know the right thing to do when she looked up at him with those shiny doe eyes? Great, he was even censoring the voiceover in his head.

Frickin' brilliant.

_Dammit_.

* * *

"Where we goin' now?"

He was following her again, and her toned ass was just dancing in front of him in that amazing skirt, the pleats adding to his enjoyment of its movement.

"I was shown to a small music rehearsal space not far from our dorm rooms", she replied, and that little sparkly grin was flashed in his direction again, and he pursed his lips to stop them twitching into a smile.

He stopped suddenly. "What you goin' to sing? Cos…" He couldn't suggest that, that was going too far. He was still clinging to some threads of his reputation.

"Cos..?" She stopped too, a few steps ahead, and it was just going to be her, no-one else would see them.

"You know", he said casually, "I could, like, play my guitar…"

The force of her returning smile had him almost reeling backwards.

"That would be great", she said, a little breathlessly, as though he had given her the best gift in the world.

"S'no biggie", he muttered, scuffing his shoes, but this time, he couldn't seem to look away from that face.

"Okay! Back to your room first then?"

He nodded, her enthusiasm was contagious.

* * *

He unlocked the door as she waited patiently, and he was trying to think of ways to be less irresistible to chicks while playing his guitar, cos this Finn dude was a complete moron, but Rachel was kinda cool. (She made him a sandwich okay, he did not make friends with chicks, it was get in, get off, get out, and there were most definitely no exceptions, thinking she was cool did not mean they were/would be friends). Serious.

He slammed it closed, taking a hasty step back.

"What _are_ you doing?" Rachel asked, "Why did you just slam the door shut? You only just opened it!"

"Yeah… I don't wanna play my guitar", he said, trying to sound casual when his brain hadn't quite caught up with the outside world yet.

She raised her eyebrows. "Okay…"

He took a few deep breaths.

"Are you alright?" She asked, and he wished she wasn't so damn nice all the time. "Was it a huge spider? I won't think less of you as a man".

He couldn't even smile, his brain had frozen.

"Maybe instead, you could teach me to sing".

He didn't care how girly that sounded, he would go piss in a bush later. He had to distract her, he had to figure out what to do.

She gaped at him.

"You would let me?" She asked, awestruck.

He scratched his mohawk absent mindedly.

"Yeah… Look- where's this practise room? We shouldn't waste time…"

"That was a weird noise", Rachel commented.

"S'my stomach", Puck said quickly, "I'm hungry".

"You just ate", Rachel returned, suspiciously.

"I… I'm hungry for music", he hastily added, blushing at her softened smile.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Why the fuck did he shut the door? This wasn't his problem!

And why the fuck was he _blushing_?

"What kind of music do you like Noah?" Rachel asked brightly, oblivious to the mental turmoil Puck was experiencing.

"Whatever I can play on the guitar", he replied, she nodded, with what she hoped was the air of a musical superior.

They walked through the corridors again, and Puck realised he had no tools at his disposal. He didn't even have his guitar.

"There might even be a guitar in the practise room that you can borrow", Rachel continued, she flashed him another one of those smiles, and he was suddenly worried that if she stopped smiling the sun would go in and plants and flowers and shit just wouldn't grow.

"Do you know the song 'Love the Way You Lie'?"

Something inside him squeezed in frustration.

He managed to nod.

"I'd rather sing than rap", he mumbled, barely audibly.

She dazzled him with another smile.

"How about 'Takin' Back My Love'?"

"Yeah I know it", he said that even quieter. Alright, so his sister liked Enrique Iglasias. Fuck off.

"We can easily find something", she concluded, pleased.

"Yeah… How long you been with Hudson?"

She raised an eyebrow at his sudden change of subject, but answered anyway, with slight pride in her smile.

"It will be 10 months next week".

_Shit. _10 months? She could've been pregnant _and _had a baby in that time!

There was a spare guitar, and he picked it up, tuning it mindlessly.

Rachel perched on the piano stool opposite, watching him interestedly.

After a while, she spoke.

"It looks right".

"Huh?"

"I looks right", she repeated, louder this time, and gesturing up and down him. "You sitting there with a guitar".

He gave a non-committal grunt, swallowing the warmth of pride that welled up inside him.

He only played the guitar to score chicks, not cos he liked to lose himself in the music, put his emotion into the song where he could find no other way to express himself.

Fuck it. He was going to have to piss all over the frickin' avenue of bushes at the entrance doors.

"S'not as good as mine", he said gruffly.

She nodded briefly.

"I'll look through those shelves I think", she said, pointing. "Sheet music? We can see if there's anything there".

He strummed a few chords, testing out this foreign guitar.

She pretended to be searching through the boxes of sheet music, even though she'd already picked out a song, but she didn't want to turn around quite yet, thinking it would stop him as his random notes became a song, and through the reflection in the glass of the cabinet, she could see the concentration on his face, and she wondered if he had even forgotten that she was there.

She turned when he faded out again, and she heard him scratch at his mohawk distractedly.

"What was that?" She asked softly.

He coughed.

"S'nothin'", he said, mumbling his words.

She frowned, and he rolled his eyes.

"Really", he said, earnestly, and his eyes had adopted another warm brown tone, like freshly dug earth; "It doesn't have a name".

"Like- you haven't given it a name?" she asked carefully, because he was shifting uncomfortably, and she could almost see him clinging desperately to anything that he had come to accept defined him. Come to accept, or just allowed it to happen, not knowing what else to do?

He grunted, and she was sure that was a no, he hadn't given it a name, and yes, he had put together those notes and chords himself.

She suddenly felt very honoured. She was almost 99% certain at this point, that she was getting to know Noah as no one ever had before.

She wasn't sure if that was because he hadn't let them, or they hadn't bothered trying. Or maybe it was a combination of both.

"Why didn't you tell me you were so talented?" she smiled.

"I did", he countered. "I'm a sex god babe- ask anyone".

He smirked.

"Fuckin' talented- ask anyone".

She sighed inwardly; just when she had thought she was being allowed beyond the walls.

She shuffled the sheet music in her hands, and she was back to square one, she would have to take this slowly.

And it was weird, because she would easily admit that she was mostly selfish, in the way that she needed to think mostly of herself in order to achieve her dreams. But when she looked at Noah, when she teetered on the edge of those mysterious colour-changing pools, she wondered if he thought about himself and his future, and she had a strange urge to subtley point him in the right direction. She didn't even want him to know, didn't even want the thanks. And that was an unusual feeling.

Her phone buzzed on the piano lid, making her jump in surprise.

"Hello?"

"_Ha. He's got you saved on your phone as RB! Anyway, RB, just to let you know- I just had sex with your boyfriend"._

_

* * *

_

Please Review :)


	5. Chapter 5

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee

AN: Thanks to 'kitty1010', 'Jenn6891', 'JayJackson', 'Cait', 'Zolton', 'crazy8ball', 'Nova802', 'rubyred18', 'blackgem88' and 'LynZann' for your reviews :) Also, can we keep the Puckleberry hate away from the Puckleberry stories? If you don't like AU Puckleberry, don't read AU Puckleberry! Anyways, sorry everyone else, rant over, on with chapter 5…

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Hello?" She tried again.

There was a short laugh and then the other speaker hung up.

She turned to Noah, who had rolled up his t shirt sleeves to his shoulders to watch his muscles as he strummed the guitar.

"Who was that?" He asked distractedly, not looking up. "Short conversation".

When she didn't answer, he frowned up at her, only to find her face frozen in a mask of fear, holding the phone stiffly away from her body, as though she was trying to get away from what was said.

People may accuse him of being below average intelligence. People may call him stupid just because they thought they should. But it didn't take a rocket scientist to know exactly who had been on the phone.

"Santana Lopez", he said quietly.

Her eyes grew even wider and her mouth dropped open.

And when she spoke, her voice was little more than shocked mutter.

"You _knew_?"

"What?"

Should he have said anything? Aw c'mon! This _wasn't his problem_. Now he could just stop getting so involved in other people's lives and go back to being lone ranger Puck- that worked for him.

Except that he couldn't- and it didn't.

She glared at him. "You _know _what. You can't pretend with me Puckerman! I look into your eyes and can tell what you're thinking!"

Why was she angry at him! He wasn't the one having sex with Santana Lopez! (Well, not anymore… He couldn't deal with her unpredictable mood swings between bitchy and horny after Beth…For some reason it reminded him of the agonising 9 months before he became a father).

"Don't yell at me", he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "I haven't cheated on you!"

"So it's true?" She asked, in a small voice.

The silence that followed, when Puck was trying to decide whether he should deny everything or just tell the truth, was a good enough answer for Rachel.

"You didn't tell me!" She exclaimed, her face screwed up in anger.

He tried to tell himself that she wasn't angry at him- he was just there, a sitting target for the focus of her response to the recent news.

And he tried to focus on what she was saying, rather than the fact that she was all flustered and just damn hot.

"That was why you closed the door!" She realised, starting to pace now, from left to right and back in front of him.

He clung more tightly to the guitar for protection.

"It was! And you didn't say anything! They were making love in your room and you didn't even give me a heads up!"

"Well- they weren't making love", he interjected.

Okay so maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to say.

"Weren't making love!" She exploded, "So a quick fuck doesn't count as cheating?"

He couldn't answer even if he tried, the redeeming sentence he was forming in his head completely dissipated as the curse fell from her lips.

"You're a guy", she continued, on a roll now.

At least she wasn't crying, he supposed. Her all hot and angry was something he could at least attempt to deal with.

"Yeah that's right", he muttered, under his breath.

She glared at him. Again.

"Finn isn't like you!" She cried, "Finn is the good guy! Finn doesn't objectify anything with breasts! Finn doesn't drop his keys in the restaurant so that he can drool at the waitress bending over to get them!"

"I only ever did that once!" Puck yelled back.

"Finn is the good guy", she repeated, with less force behind it this time.

"But he is a guy", Puck attempted, "And how do you know you want to spend the rest of your life with some girl you met in high school, when, like, there's thousands and millions of other chicks you haven't met yet".

"Is that what you said to Beth's mother?" Rachel asked in a low voice, the fight in her fading. "Is that why…"

"You don't have the right to…"

His dangerous growl was broken off as Rachel sunk defeatedly onto the piano stool, deflating, and hugging her knees up to her chest and hiding her face behind her legs.

She lifted her head up, tears shining in her eyes.

"I love him", she wavered. "He's _perfect_. There's no-one else who can fill his shoes".

Puck, in the face of an emotional breakdown, attempted humour as a defence mechanism.

"Course they can't- his feet are like fuckin' boats".

Shit. Fuck. Those were tears. He felt panic rise in his throat.

He was not _designed_ to cope with chicks crying.

"Fuck. Stay here", he demanded. "And… I dunno, take deep breaths or summat. I'm gunna go get tissues".

When he stepped outside in the corridor, he realised he had actually meant he would go and fetch tissues- not that he was going to escape while he still could.

Not that he had anywhere to go.

That's if his room was still occupied.

He found out sooner than he expected.

"Oh hey Puck".

"Satan".

It was a harsher greeting than he intended, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I haven't seen you in a while Puck".

He knew exactly where this was going.

The way she was twirling her hair in her fingers, looking up at him through her long eyelashes, batting said eyelashes at least twice as many times as was necessary.

"What have you been doing?" She asked sweetly, then added, in a lower voice, "Or who have you been doing, more accurately?"

"Santana- I'm _not _having sex with you!"

She pouted.

"That sounds like a challenge Puck".

He pushed her gently away as she sidled closer to him.

"What are you doing?" She asked incredulously. "What happened to you being there whenever I'm horny? I liked that arrangement!"

"That was a year ago", Puck pointed out. "Do you have any tissues?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"What the fuck happened to you Puckerman? C'mon! I'm incredibly horny!"

"You just had sex!"

Oops.

"Which counted as sex even less than the last time", Santana laughed. "But whatever, it was my good deed for the day".

"Your good deed for the day?" Puck echoed.

"Yeah! The guy's girlfriend won't give it up- I was just making things easier for him".

He sighed.

"Didn't you think about her?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Santana returned, then she seemed to realise something. "And how did you know I have just had sex?"

Ignoring both of these questions, Puck brushed past her.

He may have 'grown up', but no one else seemed to have followed suit.

"You really think you're happier not being a manwhore?" Santana called at his retreating figure. "You only live once!"

He spun on his heel.

"It's not too late for you to stop being a bitch, Santana", he said seriously, watching the sneer on her face fade. "And there are other ways of dealing with things than sex and alcohol".

She narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing in return.

"I just hope it doesn't take becoming a parent for you to realise that", he finished, surprising himself with the words coming out of his mouth.

He just wasn't going to pretend he hadn't changed anymore.

* * *

Please Review :)


	6. Chapter 6

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee

AN: Thank you so much for reviewing! My enthusiasm for this story doubles with every word of encouragement :D I'm sorry this one is short, I wanted to section off what turned out to be quite an in depth inner monologue of Puck's.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Her hair was splayed out across the lid of the piano, her eyelids twitching in sleep. One small hand supported her head against the uncomfortable wood, and the other on her thigh, every now and rubbing slightly, as though she was trying to sooth herself in her dreams.

Puck stepped quietly into the room, shoving the packet of tissues into the pocket of his hoody, a sudden new found urge to turn over a new leaf at the sight of her asleep, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster ride of the last few hours.

Suppressing a yawn he realised that he had no idea where her room was, and the thing he least wanted to do was go along back to his room.

He knew that if he so much as saw the hint of the oblivious grin that Finn seemed to have permanently pasted on his face, he wouldn't be able to deny the responsibility of the inevitable hospital bill that would follow.

Without realising he had reached into his back pocket, and he was flicking the worn photograph in his fingers without even looking.

He sat cross legged on the floor, forcing himself to look properly into those eyes. They were just like her mother Quinn's eyes. Every time he looked at them he was back in California, a sympathy beer in his hand, sitting on the edge of the decking with the noise of the bar behind him. Sitting there with the image of Quinn laughing with friends walking into a lecture, walking into a new life, walking away from the past.

He still didn't know how could she do that? Surely it should have been as hard for her- if not harder? She had carried their child for 9 whole months, and yet she had been the one to sign her name on the dotted line without so much as blinking an eye.

It had taken him a good two thirds of a bottle of Jack Daniels to even pick up the pen. His signature had been anywhere but on the dotted line, and Quinn had forged a doctor's note to account for his poor motor skills.

People said it would be easy, people said he couldn't miss someone he never knew.

People knew shit.

He only needed to hold that tiny bundle of blankets, and he could do this using only one hand, with her little button nose poking through, for a few minutes to know that he could never love anyone more than he loved and would love Beth.

He had wondered if his dad was even there when his children were born, cos surely, you couldn't knowingly walk away from something that was ever so small and fragile, couldn't leave them alone in this fucking bitch of a life.

He supposed every father wanted a daughter like Rachel Berry, and his eyes rested on her closed ones as he thought this, listening to her calming soft breathing.

She had big dreams, she was going places, and even if she didn't get there, it wouldn't be through lack of trying.

Not that she wouldn't get there.

He didn't need to even hear her sing to know that that shit came as naturally to her as being a complete fuck up came to him.

He reached down but there was no bottle sitting between his feet.

How was it, that even someone like Rachel Berry could be so royally screwed over? Was it really worth being the 'bigger man' if no matter how high you climbed you could still be knocked down?

If anything, it just meant you had further to fall.

He blamed it on the lack of sleep. Despite him telling his ma 'he was a fuckin' badass- this college shit would be a complete breeze', he hadn't slept much the last few nights, that niggling at the back of his head that he had refused to listen to keeping him awake. That niggling that he didn't have any idea what he wanted to do in life before, so why the fuck would majoring in sports keep him from living on the streets.

He blamed the alcohol, though the familiar lowering in volume of those angels and demons fighting in his conscience had long worn off, yet he was thinking these things himself.

Because why else would he be questioning _his own badassness_?

He laid down to sleep with one eye on the dreaming diva and one on the kid he swore right then he was going to make so fucking proud to call him her dad.

* * *

Please Review :)


	7. Chapter 7

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee

AN: The beginning bit is Rachel's flashback dream. It should make sense where we get back to real time.

Thank you very much for your reviews for the last chapter, I love to hear what you think :D

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 7**

She was wearing her new dress. The one with big orange and yellow flowers on a sky blue background.

She remembered clearly why she picked it out at the store, because when she looked at it, it just made her think of those summer days sitting cross legged in the grass with an ice cream and a huge smile of childish naivety.

And, these carefree memories in mind, she had suggested to Finn that he ask her to accompany her to the opening carnival at the theme park in Columbus. His own eyes lit up at the thought of aisles of food stalls and Rachel's promises of there being stilt-walkers.

And he held her hand and she gripped it tightly because this was just what it was supposed to be like.

The sun shining; the music blaring; the boy of her dreams by her side.

"Let's get hot dogs", Finn suggested, starting off towards the smell of the foodstalls.

"Finn- I don't suppose they'll be vegan sausages", she reminded him, automatically.

"Pretzels? Or ice-creams? No- candy floss- we should get candy floss, it's like the law or something to get candy floss."

She laughed.

"Okay. Candy floss sounds good".

He let go of her hand in the queue, searching for his wallet in his jeans.

The girl (and she was nameless in her mind, maybe to attempt to make it easier) handed over the change and candy with the sullen face of one who was not affected by the childish enthusiasm of the carnival atmosphere.

It was later when she was adamant to take a turn on the bungee-trampolines. She would show those kids a thing or two about how many back flips it was humanly possible to do in a row.

She would have beaten her own highest record (23) if it wasn't for what she saw whilst upside down halfway through the unquestionably perfectly executed number 15 backflip.

It wasn't all the blood in her head interfering with her vision.

She knew what she saw.

There was Finn, his hands on some girls hips that weren't hers.

They disappeared behind the trailers and Rachel felt suddenly sick.

If it wasn't for her impeccable reflexes she would have broken her neck for sure.

She may not have had a huge amount of relationship experience to call upon in this situation. But here the voice of the ambitious soon-to-be star shouted the loudest.

She wasn't about to throw away everything she had ever wanted just because Finn had had a momentary slip in touching some other girl. That just wasn't something she did.

He was probably just helping her to get somewhere. Perhaps she was ill. He was probably just helping her to the bathroom- that was definitely something he would do, his gentlemanlike behaviour being one of the things that she loved most about him.

So she blamed herself. Because she should have been there at the beginning to stop that kind of thing before it even happened. _Or had it?_

But she hadn't said anything. Mainly because she was paranoid that something had actually happened and she would lose Finn.

And now she had driven him away with her carelessness.

* * *

The cold wood of the piano was a surprising thing to wake up upon.

The room was dark, only lit by triangles of an eerie orange glow between the gaps in the blinds.

She jumped nearly out of her skin when she saw the dark huddled shape of somebody curled up on the floor by the window.

It took a few seconds of frozen panic for her to remember Noah going off to get tissues, and his awkward foot shuffling as the realisation dawned on her and the tears flowed freely.

The realisation that she had no more slack left to give Finn. He had used it all up. No matter how hard she tried to find some extra leeway she had to force herself to admit that there was none left to find.

She stretched out, yawning.

Her neck ached from the awkward angle of sleeping.

Now, Rachel knew she wasn't really one for spontaneous hugs and displays of affection. But at that moment she yearned to be swept into a comforting embrace, someone to tell her it was going to be okay.

She hated being alone.

They said it was lonely at the top- they had no idea just how true this was, and even having Finn as a _perfect_ boyfriend didn't quite fill that gaping hole.

Her eyes flicked to Noah.

Now accustomed to the darkness, she could make out the scruffy photograph laid carefully on the top of his wallet above his head, which was resting on his hoody as a makeshift pillow.

Something stirred deep inside her.

She imagined with arms like those a hug from him would be like a mug of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows on a cold winter's evening.

Tip toeing across to him, her heart dropped as she decided she couldn't bear to wake him up. His expression was so relaxed and carefree in sleep.

Nevertheless she prodded him lightly with her toe to test the deepness of his slumber.

Nothing happened.

She tried again, with a slightly stronger nudge this time.

Still nothing happened.

Satisfied with her findings, she slipped her shoes off and got down on her knees in front of him.

She laid down on her side, facing away from him, and taking a deep breath she shuffled gradually backwards, until her back came into contact with his hard chest.

She paused here, holding her breath, but there was still not a peep out of Noah.

She tentatively reached for one of his arms, placing it gently on her side, and immediate warmth and peacefulness spreading through her body.

She even smiled when he instinctively wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to his body.

And as she drifted off she just knew her sleep would be dreamless.

* * *

He listened to her breathing become shallower before he shifted gently to hold her with both arms to his chest.

Opening one eye to check that his beloved photograph was still sitting there undisturbed, Puck finally allowed himself to fully relax, only able to drift easily into sleep at last now that he knew Rachel was okay, even if he didn't know the same of Beth.

* * *

Please Review :)


	8. Chapter 8

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee

AN: Quite a lot of Finn bashing in this chapter, but will hopefully be just about all we hear from him for the foreseeable future after it's all up in the air.

Thanks for reading, with a special thank you to everyone who reviewed/reviews :)

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Puck woke up, looking straight at his fingers stretched out across the floor on the other side of Rachel's sleeping form, and couldn't feel his arm at all.

He was torn between wanting to relieve the downright freaky sensation that was occurring from his shoulder to fingertips, and not wanting to move at all because of the way the small girl was curled against him, seeking comfort from every contour of his body, as though she was trying to hide there from the truth of reality.

He shifted slightly, and then froze as she murmured sleepily to herself.

He didn't need both arms right now anyway...

Her lips pouted innocently as she quieted again.

He carefully reached his other hand over to grab his wallet and photo, tucking them safely back into his jeans pocket, then lay his head back down, content to just lie here in their bubble of sleepy ignorance for as long as possible.

He supposed he should have learnt by now that he never got anything he wanted.

The door banged open, and his eyes snapped open and hands scrabbled at his chest.

"Rachel?" Finn question was confused, with an edge of uneasiness.

"Noah?" Befuddled from sleep, Rachel looked to the owner of the arms of safety and warmth.

"_Hudson_?" Puck's voice was laced with venom, and his scowl deepened as the look of bewildered innocence on the guy's face intensified.

There was a short silence, and Finn's gaze flicked from one to the other, loaded with mistrust.

"Rach- did you cheat on me? With... _him?_"

The fact that Puck and Rachel were both fully clothed seemed to escape him, but it was the anger in his expression that flipped Puck's lid.

He got up slowly, counting to ten over and over in his head, but the numbers all jumbling together into a crescendo of justified defense.

"Are you fucking kidding?"

The vein in his neck pulsated at the 'who me?' face of Finn Hudson.

"So you're not denying it", Finn said, frowning accusingly at Rachel, ignoring Puck.

Puck stepped in front of her defensively, because she actually looked _guilty, _and this guy was a fucking moron to make her feel like that after what he had done.

Or, more accurately, _who _he had done.

"Of course she's not fucking denying it", he snarled, taking a step towards the taller guy, his anger and righteousness making him feel at least as tall. "People in a relationship are supposed to trust each other to be faithful, just like she trusted you…"

Finn visibly tensed.

"Stop talking for my girlfriend", he said darkly.

"Ex-girlfriend", Puck said, with a smirk.

He turned briefly to Rachel, and she saw genuine protective encouragement in his eyes. "Now's your chance to tell him Rach".

He turned to her, and she opened and shut her mouth like a goldfish.

"B… but…" She could almost see the 'photos' in her mind of her and Finn's wedding, their first family portrait picture, being torn into tiny little pieces and floating to the ground.

She met Noah's gaze. It was the way they said 'I've got your back', that meant she dissolved instantly into tears.

Finn stepped forward, but Puck was faster, pulling her almost roughly against his chest; but there was nothing rough about the way he gathered her into his arms, glaring over the top of her head at Finn.

"Isn't this one of those things you write down what I did wrong and what I have to do to make it right?" Finn asked, scratching his head awkwardly, "Why are you crying?"

"You slept with Santana!" Rachel sobbed, breaking away from Noah, turning wide incredulous eyes to Finn. "You _slept with _Santana!"

He didn't say anything, and just as he was about to raise his shoulders in a shrug, Puck gave a snarl of rage and flew at him, pushing him strongly back against the door.

Finn retaliated immediately.

"You _fuck_", Puck hissed. "You complete _fuck"._

Finn, seemingly large and uncoordinated, managed to catch the shorter guy unawares and deliver a malicious left hook to his jaw.

Puck stumbled slightly and Rachel gasped.

Encouraged, he swung again, but Puck sidestepped neatly.

"I don't want to fight man, though sure as fuck you deserve someone knocking sense into you".

"Are you jealous or something?" Finn asked, deserving another hard shove against the door.

"Finn?"

Rachel's desperate cry for normalcy boiled Puck's blood.

"You cheated", he spat out, angrier still at the way that innocent expression still hadn't left Finn's face. "_You _cheated, and you have the fucking guts to accuse Rachel of sleeping with me!"

"More accusing you", Finn returned, seemingly abandoning his long term relationship for the pride of winning a fight with the notorious 21 year old. "It's the kind of thing a fuck up like you would do".

"Finn?" Rachel gasped again, deflating like a balloon.

Puck hated that she had to see underneath the shiny tin foil armour that she had seen as solid steel.

"I know Rachel wouldn't give it up that easy", Finn continued.

Rachel completely flattened at that, and Puck could actually see the star of light in her eyes fade to nothing but empty self-worthlessness.

"You don't deserve her", he growled, his fingernails digging into his palms as he attempted to rein in his fury.

He was serious about this college thing, the starting afresh, the making something of himself. He assumed that sending a peer to hospital before the term even started wouldn't look too good on his record.

"What and you do?" Finn taunted. "Do you really think you deserve anyone? Are you really looking to put more illegitimate kids of yours out into the adoption scheme?"

Fucker may look like a friendly giant. But looks can be deceiving. That shit stung.

Rachel stood helplessly at the side of the room, wishing the floor would swallow her up.

Puck took a deep breath.

"I'm not looking to prey upon her low self-esteem and vulnerabilty that she has you to thank for. I may have made mistakes but at least I'm gunna spend the rest of my life making up for them. Fuck. And sorry Rach. Cos I reckon you've even cheated before- _fuck_ you have! I'm not even going to waste my breath any more… Fuck off Hudson- and I don't want to see your pathetic face until you have something redeeming to say cos fuck- Rachel deserves an apology or _something_".

Finn turned to leave, holding his hands up as an attempt to have the final word, to make fun of Puck's heartfelt words.

"You have no fucking clue Hudson", Puck grated out, through gritted teeth as the door shut behind him and they were left with pieces to put back together.

He held Rachel as she stood rigid, her eyes screwed shut to block out the pain, and now it was a mutual seeking of comfort, as he realised that he actually had no idea what he had got himself into.

Seriously, this remaking himself was going to be more than just knowing what he had to do.

He had to actually do it, and that was going to be a lot more difficult than it sounded when he had only ever known how to do what he shouldn't.

He wasn't qualified to deal with this kind of shit. Let alone Rachel's.

But he was damn well going to try.

* * *

Please review :)


	9. Chapter 9

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I don't own 'Happy' by Leona Lewis either.

AN: You guys are awesome. I am extremely grateful for your reviews :D

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Rachel felt the numbness gradually leave her, and it hurt as much as it did when fingertips come round from being frozen and the blood forces back round constricted vessels.

The first thing she became aware of was the fact that rather than Noah simply holding her, his arms were around her shoulders, and she had her arms around his waist, and the thumb of her right hand was rubbing in a reassuring up and down motion, without her realising she was doing this.

He was hurting too.

This wasn't how she had imagined these first days of college going.

She was supposed to show off her relationship status to everyone, not be reeling from the fact that it was over.

She was supposed to only cry because she missed home, not because it felt like someone had driven a dagger through her book of dreams.

She was supposed to feel accomplished at reaching another critical point in her life plan, not depressed because of doubting her ability to achieve her dreams if the one dream she had seen to be already half reached, was thrown to the floor and crushed beneath a stampede of heartless boot-wearing elephants.

"You _are_ gunna find some dude who is gunna treat you like you shit gold", Noah said gruffly.

Usually, sentences littered with profanities such as his became worthless due to the fact that she was always put off by the use of language.

But he really was being supportive, and she wondered at how far he had come out of his shell already in the short time she had known him.

"Thanks".

He placed his hands on her shoulders, willing her to look into those soul-searching eyes of his.

"No… look at me and tell me... I don't think you believe it".

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Say it", he prompted, and her tight half attempt at a smile had him grinning like a maniac and he couldn't work out why.

She jutted her chin in the air.

"One day I'm going to find some dude who is going to treat me like I defecate gold", she said defiantly.

He snorted with laughter at her choice of verb to replace the cursing, and that was all it took. He shook with laughter, and she had tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks.

They were just laughing, and nothing was ever going to be the same again, but maybe it was going to be better instead.

"Shit, babe, I gotta run go do football try-outs", he said, catching the sight of the clock above the door out of the corner of his eye. "But we're gunna have a jammin' sesh later- yeah?"

"A jammin' sesh?" She questioned, grinning, and the little starry sparkle in her eye was perhaps just a flicker, but it was there.

"Yeah- you know… I bring my guitar… you bring your throat and vocal cords or whatever, and we make beautiful music".

She nodded.

"Shit- that wasn't an innuendo- I swear!"

He looked so worried that she laughed.

"In your end- o", she said jokingly.

He grinned widely.

"What you gunna do now?"

"I will probably go back to my room and record a song for my blog", she said brightly. "And I need to change my facebook status…"

"Hey- no- remember the gold shit".

There were cute dimples high on both her cheeks when she smiled.

"Knock on my door? 302?" She asked hopefully.

"Course".

He grinned at her again, then remembered that he was already 5 minutes late for the tryouts, and with a soft punch to her shoulder in way of a farewell, he ran off.

* * *

In face of a fight, verbal or otherwise, Puck generally felt dread and anxiety (though he would never admit this to anyone).

But not this time.

He knew he was in the right, for once, _he _was the one with the stronger argument.

He didn't need his acquired skills of digging himself out of the position of the defendant, brushing off the accusing torrent of 'you slept with my girlfriend/wife/daughter' with an arrogant retort and a hasty retreat.

That was Before. After that was that weird limbo of During, refusing to face up to the prospect of change.

Now was just that. Now.

Just confidence in being right. Being in the right.

Finn looked at him warily as he entered. He was packing a sports bag, and Puck groaned inwardly at the coincidence.

"Football tryouts?"

Finn didn't answer, and frowned thoughtfully.

"Are we cool man? Is this one of those things that you act like a pussy in front of the girl to win her over then laugh about it and slap me on the back for being a player?"

Puck couldn't even begin to think of a good enough answer to that.

"We aren't cool", he said shortly.

He shoved everything as quickly as possible into his kit bag so that he wouldn't have to be in the same room as him for longer than absolutely necessary.

* * *

"Puck!"

"Chang- congrats man- you may be tall and skinny but you sure can play football".

"It's all in the moves", he grinned, and Puck had to step back to avoid some enthusiastic dance steps.

"Woah man! What the fuck was that?"

Mike shrugged. "I like to dance", he said casually, "cos it helps my game- you know? And plus… it's kinda my major…"

He looked away, as though embarrassed.

Old Puck may have made some joke about the loss of certain vegetables.

"It's _awesome_ man".

Mike looked up, his face bright. "Thanks! And congrats to you as well, by the way; we have a pretty decent team shaping up when that Hudson dude remembers to pass the ball".

Puck pulled on his hoody.

"Right man- got places to be… But catch you later?"

"Sure- if you want- my mate Matt is gunna attempt to beat me at Halo- dya wanna join? We could make it a tournament? And order pizza?"

"Sounds sweet", Puck nodded. "Can I invite a friend? Then we can do 4 player?"

He asked awkwardly, because he knew a night like that would be a great distraction mechanism for a guy, but wasn't sure if Rachel would appreciate it in the same way.

"No problem", Mike was saying. "See ya later… Room 78".

"Cool".

* * *

He stopped in the corridor as he approached Rachel's room.

Her singing actually made him stop in his tracks. Legit frozen with stupefaction.

He didn't know how he knew it was her singing, he just knew it was.

Because – fuck- he had never heard a voice like that before.

_So what if it hurts me?  
So what if I break down?  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground  
I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about all the pain in front of me  
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, yeah  
Just wanna be happy, yeah_

And he just wanted her to be happy too.

He had a feeling that if she was happy, he would be happy too.

* * *

Please review :)


	10. Chapter 10

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Managed to get a chapter out despite being ill :( That's just because I want to thank you guys so much for reading, and taking the time to leave me a review :)

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

He listened to the music fade out and knocked quietly, humbly, on the door.

"Noah!"

He couldn't remember the last time anyone had been quite so pleased to see him.

He stood up slightly taller.

"Hey Rach- jeez- your singing is freakin' _awesome_".

It meant a lot to her that he said that. Yes, people had told her before that she was talented, but it was the way he said it, no one had ever told her like that before.

"Thanks".

He stepped in as she opened the door wider for him, and the first thing he noticed was the regimented lines of holes in the notice board from where photos had evidently recently been removed.

She noticed the direction of his gaze and he tried desperately to think of a change of subject.

"So your parents must be proud of you or whatever?"

"Huh? Yeah… My dad is probably my biggest fan".

"What about your ma?"

He didn't know why he asked this, probably partly because he was still punting for a distraction, and partly because he could only relate to the parent-like emotions of a mother figure.

She didn't answer his question, and for a minute he though she hadn't heard him, but then he noticed the anguish in her eyes that took visible effort to melt away.

"How were the try-outs?" She asked breezily, and then found that she was genuinely interested in his answer, rather than just asking because it was a question she should ask as a girlfriend. _Ex-_girlfriend, she reminded herself.

He grinned suddenly. "I made the team!"

"Well done!.."

He sensed her uncertainty as she pondered as to whether it was appropriate to ask…

"Finn's quarterback", he said carefully.

"He was in high school", Rachel said indifferently, and he smiled proudly.

"It was good but I haven't done that kinda exercise in a while", he explained, perching on the edge of her bed as she settled in the desk chair.

"But you're so… well-muscled!" She exclaimed, and he laughed at her following wince with embarrassment.

"I work out", he said, still smirking, "But I don't run too much… and my back's all cramped up".

"Oh… Well…"

"Well?" He prompted, groaning as he laid back on her bed, careful not to disturb the collection of star shaped cushions arranged on her pillow.

"I could- you know…"

"Babe- I have no idea what you're talking 'bout. But- fuck- look at me woman! This is me! You can tell me anything… I'm serious Rach- I need your help -right- I gotta be a better person, right?"

She nodded seriously, absorbing this broken up information.

"Sure I'll help you", she said quietly.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. He was pretty sure she had seen right through him. He was 99.9% certain that she could see his outstretched branch of friendship, hidden as it was beneath his tough exterior.

Because fuck, he needed some kind of smoke screen- he had no fucking idea how to make friends with girls… Fuck if he was going to paint her nails and have pillow fights in his underwear… Actually- back track right there- if she was going to be in her underwear as well…

"Okay", she said, more decisively. "Okay".

He frowned sternly at her, and she gave him a lop-sided grin.

"Do-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-massage?"

He looked to her questioningly. "A massage?"

"Yeah… as in…"

He cut her off. "I know what a massage is Berryjuice".

"I wasn't implying that you didn't", she said hastily, and he laughed.

"So..?"

"A massage sounds awesome", he said, "Though if you want to touch my body you don't need to have an excuse".

She pouted.

"Okay that's the sort of thing you should refrain from saying if you want to make a better reputation for yourself", she said curtly.

He rubbed his mohawk roughly.

"Sorry… Guess old habits die hard no?"

She was quiet, taking a few steps over to him on the bed.

"It just sorta slips out", he continued, peeling off his shirt without thinking.

She forced herself to look directly at his face, though her eyes longed to wander over that expanse of sculpted abdomen.

"Turn over", she instructed, "I'll just grab my oil".

Puck gulped loudly.

Rachel didn't notice and located the pot of baby oil aligned on the shelf next to her collection of shampoos and conditioners.

"So have you done this before?" He asked, and he was angry at himself for feeling a ripple of jealousy at the thought of Hudson being allowed a similar treat.

"My fathers are away a lot, and when I was younger they sent me on all kinds of holiday camps and courses", she explained, "Massage for beginners was one of them".

"Wow".

She squirted some of the oil onto her hands, and as she waited a short while for it to warm up there, she realised he hadn't even commented on her parentage. Fair enough, she couldn't see his face to ascertain if there was a reaction of some kind…

"Do you find it weird that I have two gay dads?" She asked bluntly.

He dropped his head to his arms as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"I figured you didn't want to talk about your family", he said quietly, "And I didn't want to make your face go like it did earlier".

Her fingertips began kneading the hard muscle, pushing out the knots smoothly.

"Thanks", she murmured.

He felt like grinning all cheesily and saying 'that's what friends are for'. It was scary for a moment until his mind could no longer concentrate on anything but the _absolutely frickin' amazing _rhythmical circular movements her hands were making across the top of his back and shoulders, seemingly sensing the exact pressure needed to drive out the stress from his muscles.

A low moan escaped his mouth (aw c'mon, he had _feelings_), which he hurriedly melted into speech.

"Your hands are fucking divine", he managed, croakily.

Yeah. Good one Puckerman. What the fuck? When had he ever used the word _divine _in a sentence, and why had he chosen this particular sentence to use it for the first time?

"Really? I have often been told that my hands resemble those of a man".

She sounded genuinely surprised at his compliment.

He scoffed. "You shouldn't listen to what most people say", he said. "I reckon we should have some kind of filtering system so's you can just receive the stuff that you should hear".

Rachel seemed to think about this, leaning a little more weight onto his back as she worked at the deeper muscles.

"That's rather profound Noah", she said quietly.

He grunted, and muttered, "Just so's more people can be happy… or whatever…"

Rachel said nothing, instead concentrating on banishing the tightness from his upper back.

Puck bit his lip, thankful for being on his front.

"We should talk about maggots", he said suddenly.

"Maggots?"

"Yeah… or mouldy cheese…"

"Mouldy cheese?"

"Something disgusting…"

She made some sort of amused scoffing noise, and they lapsed instead into comfortable silence.

"Okay- I'm done".

"Thank god… I mean- thank god you massaged my back or I probably would never be able to walk again".

She looked at him strangely.

It was a good time to change the subject.

"So… Rach- can you play Halo?"

She scoffed, wiping her hands on a towel and replacing the baby oil on the shelf.

"What's that mean?" He asked, sitting up now, and pulling on his t shirt again, much to Rachel's disappointment ( though she pretended that she didn't think that).

She shrugged nonchanently.

"Okay… So do ya wanna play Halo with me and Chang, and some guy called Matt later..?"

Rachel thought about the two options.

One was sitting in her room and feeling sorry for herself, feeling alone, feeling lost.

The other was spending time with her friend Noah, with the possibility of making new friends, and the opportunity to show these guys a thing or two about Halo…

"That sounds awesome", she grinned.

And that smile would be the one yardstick he would use to let him know he was doing the right thing.

* * *

Please review :)


	11. Chapter 11

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I don't own 'Time of Your Life' by Greenday either.

AN: Okay, right now, it's not entirely clear why I introduce Kurt into the story, but, dear readers, it will become clear in the future ;) (well, I hope it will at least!)

I love to hear from you guys. Thank you so very much for the reviews!

Oh- and for the singing, it's _Rachel _and _**Rachel and Puck**_

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 11**

The practice room was not deserted as it had been last time.

Rachel burst in with carefree laughter on her lips, knowing Noah was close behind her, his worry lines ancient history, and was taken aback to find a figure at the piano, marking on sheet music with a pink fluffy pen.

Pieces slotted together in Rachel's memory like a jigsaw.

The pen; the perfectly coiffed hair; the incredulous recognition in his eyes…

"Kurt Hummel?"

Puck's eyebrows shot up.

Fuck_._

And he knew this kid. He couldn't for the life of him remember where from…

_Double fuck. _

Rachel knew him too.

Kurt got to his feet, still dumbstruck.

His eyes switched briefly to Puck from Rachel, but no such light of recognition was sparked there.

"Rachel Barbara Berry", he said, accentuating each word.

Rachel nodded.

"Er… Rach?" Puck brushed his fingertips on her arm, almost startled by how quickly she turned to him at his feather light touch.

She smiled at him, and there was something faintly bewildered about her expression.

"Sorry Noah, this is Kurt, Kurt, this is Noah Puckerman…"

"Nice to meet you Noah", Kurt said.

Puck frowned, because he thought 'Noah' was a name to associate with his new found self-improvement persona. But apparently, it didn't sound right out of lips that didn't belong to Rachel Berry…

Choosing not to dwell on this, he muttered, almost under his breath, "It's Puck".

Kurt shrugged indifferently.

"I was just going", he explained, collecting up his sheet music. "But maybe I'll see you around?"

"Okay- see you".

He wasn't comfortable when she was so quiet and thoughtful. Girl thought too damn much about shit; it scared him.

"Babe? Who's that then? How do you know him?"

He began to carefully remove his guitar from its case, one eye fixed on her as she moved to sit daintily on the piano stool, her expression still distant.

She drew in a long breath.

"Erm… Well…"

He deftly juggled a chair in one hand, his guitar in the other, and sat next to her.

She glanced at _those eyes_, she took a moment to allow their green depths to reassure her.

"When I was in high school, I tried to transfer to Kurt's high school… and to cut a long story short I leant him my pen and he drew me a little map to find my car again… I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could and I left my pen".

It was sketchy, but he wasn't going to breach the boundaries of their new friendship by forcing his way through the closed doors without permission.

"Here", he said, thrusting a bundle of crumpled paper into her hands from the bottom of his guitar case. "Some random shit in that lot- might be something you like".

Normal people would announce the title of the song, and perhaps you'd talk about the arrangement or the chord pattern.

But Puck already knew by now that Rachel Berry wasn't normal people.

She proved his point nicely by suddenly melting into song.

Except, it wasn't really that sudden, as it seemed a perfectly natural progression from her silence.

_Another turning point;  
a fork stuck in the road._

He joined in pretty quickly with the chords on his guitar, and smiled to himself cos she was fucking pitch perfect.

_Time grabs you by the wrist;  
directs you where to go._

_So make the best of this test_  
_and don't ask why._

_It's not a question_  
_but a lesson learned in time._

It also seemed a perfectly natural progression to join in with the chorus. He didn't think twice about his early scorning of the merits of a 'badass' singing.

He was beginning to think it was more badass to stop caring about whether it was badass or not._  
__**  
It's something unpredictable  
but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.**_

_So take the photographs  
and still frames in your mind._

_Hang it on a shelf_  
_In good health and good time._

_Tattoos of memories_  
_and dead skin on trial._

_For what it's worth,_  
_it was worth all the while._

_**It's something unpredictable  
but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.**_

(guitar solo)

_**It's something unpredictable  
but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life.**_

**_It's something unpredictable_**  
**_but in the end it's right._**  
**_I hope you had the time of your life._**

She was beaming at him by the time they had finished, and he felt all warm inside and it wasn't so terrible to think that.

Her eyes were all bright even now and he wanted to see her sing on stage. She wouldn't need stage lighting, her eyes like that would light up the whole fucking _theatre_.

Plus she would fucking _own_ the stage.

"You're awesome Noah", she breathed.

"Nah babe", he grinned, scratching his head. "_You _are awesome. You make me look good".

She laughed.

"You are very talented", she said primly, her mind racing over the duet possibilities of his warm bassy tones complimenting hers... "And you have to agree that _we _are awesome".

He gave her a lopsided smile.

"Alright".

"This is surreal you know", she said suddenly.

"Huh?"

He was distracted by her shaking her glossy dark hair out of its pony-tail and tying it back up deftly in what seemed like one swift movement.

"It's surreal", she repeated, turning to him earnestly. "I've been working so hard all my life to get here- and beyond and now… I know - let's make some cookies to take to Matthew and Micheal's Halo tournament".

It took him a few seconds to catch up with her.

He studied her eager face carefully.

He noticed the way her hands were twisted together again. They had been flat on her thighs during the song (he couldn't help but notice what her hands were doing, now that he knew some of what they were capable of doing).

And maybe one day he would know what part of her wanted to tell him.

"Can they be chocolate ones?"

She mentally ran through the baking supplies she had stored in the cupboard in her room.

He was giving her this little cheeky smile, but his eyes were thoughtful and caring at the same time.

She suddenly felt very lucky that he had chosen her to be his trusted friend.

"I do in fact have cocoa powder… so yes, I suppose we could make chocolate cookies".

He liked that she said 'we'.

He grinned.

"Alright".

* * *

Please review :)


	12. Chapter 12

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thanks for the reviews! :D

Shout out (and virtual cookies :p) to: 'LynZann', 'Jenn6891', 'blackgem88', 'rubyred18', 'Nova802', 'crazy8ball', 'Zolton' 'Cait', 'JayJackson', 'kitty1010', 'You'veMadeYourBed', 'LondonSW', 'kyliemav', 'Bec07', 'xJustinex', 'IrishShamrock86', 'ohdonna93', 'seacat03', 'Youliveanduburn', 'aleja1', 'NikkiMc1001', 'Kkaty','shinecsc' and 'CarmillaD' (who I would also like to thank for your other recent reviews to my other stories).

Thanks you guys.

Even more depth added to the story in this chapter… Moohaha! Though I can assure you, stuff will piece together as we go along.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 12**

So he was standing outside room 78 holding a plate piled high of cookies and a big smile on his face and Rachel Berry's small hands clinging onto his right arm.

"Sup Chang? We bought cookies… homemade- well, Rach did most of it, I just helped with the mixing a bit… and made a few shaped like penises…"

"Don't worry- I made him eat those ones before we put them on the plate", Rachel added hastily.

Mike just grinned at them.

"Hey Puck- and Rachel Berry- right?"

Rachel nodded.

"Sweet. The cookies look awesome! You guys are definitely allowed in!"

"Rutherford".

The world was too fucking small. Next thing Quinn would be walking through the door and no amount of Rachel's smiles would be able to hold him together then.

_Shit. _He shouldn't tempt fate.

"Puck", Matt greeted, similarly shortly, and neither Mike or Rachel missed the tone of contempt in his voice.

"How's your brother?" Puck asked with forced politeness, and Rachel was moving as though to let go of his arm and take a seat on Mike's bed, so he squashed her hand against his side, needing her for emotional support.

"He's out", Matt said, gruff and dismissive.

"Maybe I should…"

"No you fucking shouldn't", Matt said, a fierceness in his voice that had Rachel and Mike sharing a look of surprise.

Mike clapped his hands, breaking the awkward silence that followed. "Halo anyone?"

"Yes", Rachel said, with a much too enthusiastic brightness, and Puck almost groaned when she almost jumped away from him to take a controller from Mike.

This was why he never bothered to make friends with girls. They needed to know answers, they wanted to understand.

But maybe it was because he was worried she would understand?

He couldn't depend on people emotionally- they just let him down.

She passed him a controller and there was question and concern in her eyes, and he wanted to tell her, but he didn't know if he could. He had blocked out so much that his memories were just snapshots in his mind of moments of intense emotion; intense emotion that had no literary equivalent.

In lieu of a reply, he flicked her dangly earring with his forefinger, sat down cross legged on the floor, and gestured for her to sit next to him.

There was so much more to know about Noah Puckerman, she realised, making herself comfortable at his side.

So much more she wanted to know.

"Can I have a cookie?" Matt asked, and Mike tactically claimed the space on the floor next to Puck.

"Yeah- help yourself", Rachel replied.

"Chuck one over here Mike?" Puck requested, "Make that two?"

"Two?" Rachel asked, incredulous. "You ate 4 about 10 minutes ago!"

"The other one's for you", he explained.

"Oh. Thanks".

"S'alright".

"We'll do co-op first", Mike half suggested, half decided. "For Rach to get her eye in".

"I haven't played in a while", Puck admitted.

"Then we'll play a tournament- we'll choose a campaign then play winner stays on".

"I'm gunna win", Matt said confidently.

"Oh. I died".

"S'alright Rach- press… yup- I got your back".

"I know".

Yeah. Well, he had a laser gun and a rocket launcher right now.

He didn't have anything but good intentions in real life.

* * *

"Chang what the fuck are you doing with that grenade? Rach… watch out he might throw it near you and you might get hit".

"Hey!"

"That's what you get for trying to throw a grenade at Rach".

"Not on purpose! You didn't have to shoot me!"

"High score!"

Rachel shifted over as Noah excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Matt had filled the space before she had even noticed he had moved.

"So how d'ya know Puckerman?" He asked, casually. Rachel could sense there was something behind his seemingly innocent question.

"Actually, we've only been friends since yesterday. We just get on really well".

"Since yesterday?" He was momentarily taken aback. "_Damn_".

Rachel nibbled at her cookie.

"You gotta be careful", Matt said, "And I'm saying this as your friend, not because of any personal crap- got that?"

"Matt- she's smart enough to make her own decisions", Mike cut in.

"I know", Matt said. "And it's years since I last saw the guy".

"Wh-?"

Matt didn't let her even begin her question.

"If he's really a good friend, or whatever, then he'll tell you".

Rachel held her tongue. She knew he would tell her, in his own cryptic way.

"Just remember you can dress a wolf up as a sheep but it's still a wolf", Matt said in a low voice, and he had jumped up back to his position the other side of Mike before Puck's hand had even reached the door handle.

* * *

"Okay- first round- me and Rach", Mike announced.

Noah grinned at her as he sat down, and leaned over, his breath hot in her ear.

"Babe- you got this".

Rachel smirked.

Now was probably the right time to call upon the hours she spent in summer with a sprained ankle, playing Halo on her daddy's Xbox when she couldn't go to dance class.

"Watch his face", she whispered back, stretching out her fingers in front of her as the graphics loaded.

Puck did, for a few seconds.

But after that, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the adorable expression of deep concentration of Rachel's face, he jaw set and her eyes hard as she slayed alien monsters like a complete pro.

Totally hot.

"Chang man- you're being thrashed right now", he informed his friend helpfully.

"Where are all the aliens?" Mike asked. "I can't even see any".

"That's 'cos I killed them all", Rachel explained, grinning modestly.

Puck roared with laughter.

"I dunno what you think's so funny", Mike grumbled. "You have to lose to her in a minute".

"It's like dancing", she attempted, and Mike grinned at her.

Now she was speaking his language.

"You just have to think about your steps in advance... Or football", she added, for Noah and Matt's benefit. "Same kinda idea. I can try and show you…"

It was weird. She'd never been particularly eager to share her knowledge before- point out other's downfalls- yes- but never to share advice in a purely selfless and generous way.

She hugged Noah's arm suddenly, and he rubbed his nose on the top of her head in response.

"She can stay", Mike said casually, nodding at Puck. "Can't she Matt?"

"Yeah. Rach- you're a cool dude- I mean- dudette".

Puck smiled at the way Rachel sat up straighter beside him.

She passed Matt the controller.

"Alright- go again Mike…"

* * *

"Matthew! Change weapons back to the one you just had!"

"But this one's bigger", Matt argued.

"For this section you actually require range", Rachel explained patiently.

"Go left", Rachel instructed.

"But there's more monsters if you go that way".

Puck snorted. Idjit needed to learn to do what Rachel Berry told him to do.

"You have full health", Rachel pointed out. "And you won't beat the high score if you avoid a fight… Matt you need to go back up the stairs and help out".

It was her little triumphant jiggle that had him gathering her up and dragging her to sit on his lap in a tight squeeze of a hug.

She flashed him a smile and she stayed sitting comfortably there until they left much later.

* * *

"But you're a girl", Matt added, awe in his voice as Rachel's third thrashing of her own high score loaded on the screen.

"Damn straight", Rachel quipped.

"Respect", Puck said definitively, banging fists with his best friend.

_Damn straight _she was his best friend.

And not just because when it came to team Halo tournaments he wanted to make sure she was on his team.

* * *

Please review :)


	13. Chapter 13

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Oh the drama!

The happenings at the end of the chapter may seem random, but there is method to my madness, and it is important as a 'tool'.

Anyway, so so so so so so grateful for you guys for reading and reviewing. It actually makes my day :)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 13**

He never needed anyone until he met Rachel Berry.

He was 'fine' just by himself.

(Well okay, so his previous definition of 'fine' was becoming more and more hazy...)

And now she wasn't there and he didn't actually know what to do. So if that meant he needed her then yeah, he reckoned he did.

So that's why he was searching campus for dance studio 2, armed with a scruffy map drawn by the receptionist, with arrows of amendments added by a random janitor he had met in the corridor (after traipsing past him down the same corridor, for the third time).

He slipped into the studio quietly, unnoticed, leaning up against the wall where he could just see the dancers from behind the black curtain.

His searching eyes found her immediately.

And not just because she was by far the shortest person in the class.

It was because she actually danced like no one was watching, he'd heard the expression but never seen it in real life before.

Her face was set in beautiful concentration.

But this was different concentration from the fierce intensity of playing Halo on Xbox. This concentration was so serene, as though she really was living the dance.

And her movement, it was so supple and flowing the way she seemed to float across the floor.

He couldn't look away.

"Alright everyone- good work today. Look out for relocated classes when refurbishment starts on the dance studio".

He felt a slight disappointment that he couldn't watch for longer, but it was probably just as well… Skin tight lycra leggings and leotard made a killer combination.

"Noah?"

"Hey Rach!"

A few of the girls started muttering interestedly to each other, and she ushered him hastily outside.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came to find you", he said, shrugging. "S'not easy either- this place isn't on the freakin' map…"

She shivered slightly in the relative cool of the corridor.

"You want my hoody?" He offered, pulling his arms out of the sleeves.

She frowned ever so slightly.

"Are you sure? 1- you'll be cold surely? And 2- people might get the wrong idea about…"

He shrugged again, pulling it swiftly over his head and dumping it on her arm.

"So what?" he said. "We're close".

She nodded.

"You don't really seem that pleased to see me", he said, after she had pulled it on over her head.

It made her hair all mussed and – just- _damn._

He shouldn't look at her like that, like a hungry man. He was her friend, and dammit she needed him to be her friend.

He realised what he said had sounded slightly whiny.

"I was just worried that you would think I have been inflicting too much on your spare time", she said, "When you could be…"

"When I could be what..?" He asked, smirking slightly. "I've got nothing better to do".

She pouted, and he wished, not for the first time, that he had even just a bit more tact.

"That's not what I meant babe… I wanna spend my spare time with you… we gotta set the world to rights and we can't do that in just occassionally bumping into each other on the corridor".

She smiled reluctantly.

"And just remember", he added, "I thought you were cool waaay before Mike and Matt did".

Her smile widened.

"I was just about to meet up with a few of the girls from my morning's vocal class for coffee in the cafeteria", she said, "Would you like to join us?"

"Are they hot?" He questioned, and he was actually joking, and she pushed him playfully.

She knew he was joking, but even if he wasn't she couldn't chastise him for being shallow, not when in his eyes she could practically see the reflection of that little photograph of Beth every time he looked at a woman.

Not that she watched him constantly.

It would take something/someone really special for him to fall in love.

"I'll just grab my water bottle".

He nodded, holding the door open as she jogged across the studio to fetch the water bottle off a bench in the far corner.

As her friend, he should probably have felt pleased for her that some curly haired kid called over to her and praised her dancing.

He didn't.

But then he argued in his head that this was because as her friend, he was protecting her from just 'rebounding' from Finn.

"Who's that?" He asked, feigning indifference.

"Oh. That's Jesse St James".

He smirked at her tone.

"He's better than everyone else, because he didn't get into Julliard".

"Oh. How'd he work that one out?"

"No idea… How was your day?"

"Not too bad… Nothing special really."

"This way. You know there's an audition for 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' next week. Some local theatre company are looking for performing arts students".

"Cool. You goin' for it?"

"You know- I think I might. I want to make the most of my time here- I want to take the opportunities that are offered to me".

She was so determined and goal driven.

He wondered briefly if he'd ever have anything to dedicate his life to in such a way.

* * *

The cafeteria was busy. The only spare seats were right in the doorway, which was somewhat inconvenient, Rachel decided, since everyone had to shuffle past them on their way into or out of the cafeteria.

And maybe if they hadn't been sitting right in the doorway, Santana Lopez would have found somebody else first.

"Take it!" She said, thrusting a screaming baby of about 8 months old into Rachel's lap. "I'll meet you in the common room in about an hour- jeez Berry- it's not going to bite you! And sing to it- it likes Rihanna and Micheal Buble!"

And she was gone.

Rachel looked about at the few annoyed glares and at Puck's face frozen rigid in his desperate attempts to find some way to not bring up the memories that were forcing up against the doors he had locked in place.

"Fuck", Puck said, hissing. "Fuck it's a baby. Fuck".

Rachel, trying desperately to quieten (her? Him? The hair was neutral), saw something of raw panic in his eyes and realised that in his anxiety he had overlooked a few things.

"Noah… It's not yours", she said softly, and winced as the child found her finger too near its mouth and bit down hard. "It's not even Santana's- I'm sure. I know one shouldn't judge people from first appearances, but I'm almost 99.9% sure that she would have said something".

"_It's a fucking baby Rach_".

Nothing she could do or say could take away the fact that there was a Beth shaped hole in his heart.

She could practically see in his face the old wounds opening up again.

"It doesn't even look like her", he growled, and he was angry at himself because he was supposed to have drowned all this crap in a good two years of alcohol.

"It would be Santana _fucking _Lopez as well", he added, under his breath, more like a curse than a statement.

Rachel realised she should probably feel angry at her too, seeing as she was half the reason… But then, with an understandable shock, she realised she didn't feel anything for either Santana or Finn. No anger, no regret- no nothing.

And the reason was Noah.

In his own way (and maybe he didn't even realise he had done it?) he had been his guiding light and she was three of four miles ahead of herself when back on the road again.

_And in only 2 days._

So now was her turn to help him.

"Come on let's go somewhere else", she said, the baby now occupied with chewing on her finger with enthusiasm instead of screaming, and she knew her quiet suggestion would have reached him, even though he did not react to it for several minutes.

"Okay", he said heavily, and looked for the first time at the baby, and then to Rachel, and one hot tear ran down his cheek.

* * *

Please review :)


	14. Chapter 14

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: So, the baby thing may seem pretty random, but I wanted to find a way to get Puck to open up a little bit as he does in this chapter, and it sort of enables me to link a few things together. And Santana has some stuff to say. But that's all _I'm _going to say- I don't want to spoil it for you guys!

Always thankful for your reviews :D

And Happy New Year!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 14**

That was how they ended up in the common room, Rachel with the baby on her lap and the other arm wrapped as best she could around Noah. And he was telling her all about Quinn and wine coolers and the fact that he had just been so glad to finally get in the captain of the cheerios', head of the celibacy club's pants that he hadn't been thinking straight.

It was the first time he had just opened up like this, and it was all coming flooding out and Rachel was right there to catch it.

"It was her fucking tiny little fingers", he finished, his voice rough with emotion. "Her whole hand couldn't even wrap around my thumb".

Rachel was silent for a moment, rearranging the bombardment of memories in her mind.

"One day you will have the chance to prove that you can be the best daddy in the world Noah", she said quietly. "I reckon Beth… happened… to show you that you had it in you; and at the time you weren't ready, and it was the right thing to do… But just think, when you are ready, just think how amazing a dad you know you can be".

Puck hated her seeing him like this, but he didn't feel regret.

She wasn't laughing at him, she wasn't running around telling everyone that he was a big girl… It just felt like he should've shared these inner feelings with someone long ago.

Or maybe he was just waiting to share them with Rachel Berry?

"And", Rachel continued, "You will be doubly as amazing because you are going to be the complete opposite of your father".

He hadn't even realised he'd mentioned that.

But still no sense of panic came to him.

Rachel looked down at the baby in her arms, which gurgled up at her, and her mind drifted to that stored image of her own children to come.

They had once had features that took the best of her traits, and the best of Finn's, combined.

Now they didn't even have distinguishable faces.

"Would you like to hold it?" Rachel asked carefully, after noticing Noah's gaze turn to her and the baby.

His eyes right then were so captivating, it was difficult not to stare at them in wonder. The shade of hazel was a soft, warm tone, that single-handedly made _brown _a desirable colour.

"You hold it", he suggested, "and I'll hold you".

Rachel smiled, and clambered onto Noah's lap in the big sinky couch, relaxing into his embrace.

He rested his head on her shoulder, and slowly an uncertain hand reached round to rest on the baby's head.

"How did you get it to stop crying?" He asked, his voice suddenly hushed as though if he talked louder it would start screaming again.

Rachel gave a short laugh.

"I sang to it", she admitted. "A slightly odd, but functional mixture of Rihanna and Micheal Buble".

"You could do anything with a voice like yours", he said, and there was awe in his gruff statement. "Serious. You could conquer the fucking world; just by singing".

Rachel blushed.

She couldn't help it, they were entwined in a rather intimate position, and he was all solid, strong _man_, but he was saying these things that meant she could practically sense her self-esteem blossoming.

"Thank you Noah".

"You're welcome", and he pressed his lips to her forehead and her mind went blank.

Santana walked in at that very moment, interrupting the serenity of their moment.

Puck tightened his hold on Rachel, preempting her attempt to move off his lap.

"Berry- seriously- I fuckin' owe you one".

She came over to them, making no attempt to take the baby, instead flopping down on the couch opposite theirs with a big sigh.

"My fuckin' cousin just got outta jail, and now he's staying with me when he looks for a job in the city and gets his shit back together. I'm like the only member of his family he kept in contact with really, so I reckon I should try and get him in contact with at least his brother… apparently he's at NYU…"

"You are _kidding_ me", Puck growled, but this was more to himself, and he kept quiet because he just couldn't deal with that right now.

"Santana", Rachel said timidly, "Do you think you could cuss less often? It's just that… _it…_ is at quite an impressionable age…"

"Are you talking to me?"

Rachel frowned. "Erm… yes".

"_I slept with your boyfriend"._

Rachel just nodded.

"Woman! What's wrong with you? You should be raging at me with claws and a whip".

Puck's eyes widened.

"I…I… I try to avoid conflict?"

Santana narrowed her eyes at her.

"This morning, he was crying all over my favourite scarf because he didn't love you and _you loved him_".

Rachel took a deep breath.

"That guy is a complete…" Puck remembered Rachel's warnings about cussing. "…ball of dog mess".

"Whatever, but if you're over him..?"

Puck glared warningly at Santana.

"Maybe I was never…under him", Rachel said, barely audibly.

"This feelings mush is making me nauseous", Santana said suddenly. "I should probably return Junior to my aunty anyway. Have you seen a woman with green hair around?"

Rachel and Puck shook their heads simultaneously.

"Well- if you do, tell her I'm looking for her. She's down here looking for Paul anyway… but as I said he's probably gunna lay low for a while until she's gone and then find _me_…"

She got up, taking Junior from Rachel and deftly scooping him up in her arms.

She turned and it seemed as though she wanted to say something else.

"Puck".

"Satan?"

"Maybe you're right".

She was gone before he could ask what she meant.

* * *

"So dya reckon your performing arts friends will still be drinking coffee?"

Rachel gasped. "Oh! I completely forgot!"

"Don't worry babe", Puck assured her. "Your reasons are completely legit. Psychopath shoves a baby in your face… and whatever".

"We can go and see if they are still there?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Sure", Puck nodded. "If not, we could just get coffee anyway".

And Rachel could still feel the imprint of his lips on her forehead.

* * *

Please review :)


	15. Chapter 15

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thank you to my lovely readers for sticking with me on this! There is method to my madness :)

I also love how you have picked up on something that is actually developed in this chapter.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 15**

So he was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria on one of those semicircular seats, holding an enormous mug of coffee in one hand and the other arm was draped casually over the back of the seat behind Rachel.

And he was trying to remember which of these two chicks was which.

He knew the two names; Tina and Mercedes, that much was simple. At the moment he had resorted to seeing which suited the name best.

Was it a scary gothic Tina? Or Mercedes? And was the self-proclaimed diva with the huge earrings Tina? Or was _she_ Mercedes.

Then he decided to wait until somebody addressed someone with their name.

He had been introduced, but at the time, Rachel had just taken a sip of her hot chocolate, and the whipped cream had stuck to her top lip in a white frothy moustache, and the swift movement of her tongue to clean this away had had him frozen into a stupor and her words all merged together into blurred nonsense.

Hence his current dilemma.

"Hey T, we better get moving to 'History of Art' in a while girl".

Woo. So the goth girl was Tina.

"Are you taking that Rach?" Tina asked.

"No. I chose classic dance in that block, and I have a free afternoon".

The girls got up to leave.

"Oh and Rachel- there's a sort of gathering for Choe's birthday? She's in our contempory dance class- and everyone from the class is invited. If you want to join us we'll be meeting in Tina's room… 103, at about 7.30?"

"Thanks", she glanced sideways at him, and he gave a small smile of encouragement.

"No problem. 'History of Art' beckons… See you later".

"So they seem cool", Puck commented as they left, and stealing a mini marshmallow out of the top of Rachel's hot chocolate.

"Hey! No- it's okay- I don't want it back- you just licked it!"

"S'only my lick", he retorted. "Nothing wrong with that".

"They are cool", Rachel said.

Then, after a moment's thought; "Cooler than me".

"Not possible", Puck replied quickly. "And before you completely talk yourself out of going tonight- I think you should definitely go".

"Really? You really think I'm ready for that kind of thing?"

"Totally", he said firmly. "Besides, it'll be good to have some girly time with some girls- you know?"

"I did really enjoy the Halo though", Rachel assured him. "I don't mind that you want to do guy stuff… I mean, if you don't mind that I tag along…"

"Rach- seriously- you'll never just be a tag-along. You will be the life of the party! Especially tonight. You go- and have fun."

"Okay".

She offered him a small smile.

"It'll be fine", he continued, not quite convinced she was convinced. "If you need me you have my number right?"

He was rewarded with one of _those _smiles, and, satisfied, he took a drink from his coffee.

"So how do you know Matt?" She rushed out.

He could sense her tense beside him as soon as she'd said it.

"Rach it's okay. We tell each other stuff yeah?"

"I was meant to be a bit more tactful in the way I brought it up", she admitted, and he stared a little too long as she chewed anxiously on her bottom lip.

He laughed, and his arm slipped off the back of the chair to rest gently across her shoulders.

"I don't really know Matt", he began, and he sensed her watching his face, so he tried to keep his expression neutral rather than betray some deeply engraved anger that still remained uncalmed. "But I know his brother… who is probably the same person as Santana's cousin".

"The one who just got out of jail?" Rachel asked slowly, realising.

Puck nodded.

He took a deep breath.

"Basically, he knew some guys I knew… and some stuff I did- I'm not proud of… and I probably could have stopped him getting arrested. But I didn't… I couldn't have a criminal record because I wanted to go back and complete high school".

Rachel was quiet.

There were so many things she wanted to ask him, but she seemed only capable of one question.

"You're not in trouble with the law then?"

He must have sensed the hopefulness in this.

"Would you not want to be my friend if I was?" He asked softly. "I won't be offended if you say no".

Okay, so that was a lie. He would be offended. A little.

Because what happened in the past was in the past now.

She looked straight at him.

"Honestly?"

His heart actually sank a bit in preparation. Legit.

"I think we were meant to meet each other", she said quietly, earnestly. "I can't really remember what it was like not being your friend. So- yeah- I _would_ still be your friend".

He felt like his grin actually stretched from one side of his face to the other.

"Awesome", he breathed.

He paused.

"Okay, so, 'cos we're still friends or whatever…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you really just gunna act like Santana did nothing wrong? Are you really just gunna let her into your life without even saying anything?"

She looked a bit shocked that he had asked that, and set her mug down in front of her, staring into the liquid contents as though that would offer her an answer.

"Isn't she your friend?"

He frowned.

"Is that why you aren't lunging at her with claws and a whip? Because you're worried about what it would do to my…'relationship' with Satan?"

Rachel managed a small smile.

"Look, I'll give it to you straight babe. Okay, so me and Santana used to… erm... end up in bed together quite a lot- when she was bored or I was drunk… or sometimes both. What we have going on right now is, erm, I no longer want to do that…_stuff…_ and I spose I'd save her from drowning… If that's friends then yeah, but it's _nothing _on what we have, or whatever".

Rachel was still quiet.

"Now are you mad at her? 'Cos seriously, she could seduce a _nun_, so all the crap is at least 60% her fault".

"Maybe she's more like you than you realise", Rachel said slowly.

"You reckon I could seduce a nun?" He asked cheekily, nudging her with his elbow, "I'm flattered babe".

"Well yeah, but that's not what I meant. Furthermore…"

He interrupted, "_furthermore_?"

She poked him playfully. "Furthermore, I don't see any benefit in me dealing with all this, if I take it out on Santana, I don't know, maybe I'm hoping her guilt will make her a better person? Okay, you're looking at me as though you reckon she doesn't know the meaning of the word… Well, if she doesn't redeem herself, then I will lunge at her with claws and a whip?"

"You have to admit it would be pretty hot", Puck muttered.

Rachel just laughed.

* * *

**Rachel Berryjuice: This may seem like a weird request, but do you think you could possibly help me choose what to wear for this evening?**

**

* * *

**

"What's wrong with what you're wearing right now?" Puck asked, as a frantic Rachel opened the door and ushered him inside.

"Noah!" She admonished. "I'm wearing a towel!"

He just grinned, and glanced (slightly nervously, he had not a clue on how to give fashion advice) at the pile of clothes laid out on her bed.

"Have you got anything on underneath?" He asked interestedly.

"Noah!"

"I only ask because if you didn't then you should maybe put some underwear on… then you'd be ready to go".

She pushed him playfully.

"I have a few outfits in mind", she said, gesturing vaguely over to the bed. "But I can't choose… I don't want to seem too…"

"Slutty?" Puck suggested helpfully.

"No! I was going to say, that I don't want to look as though I'm trying too hard".

"Oh. Alright. Show me what you got then".

She waited expectantly.

"What? I'm not going to peek I swear".

She smiled because it surely shouldn't be that easy to trust a guy with a _mohawk?_

But he wasn't just any old guy with a mohawk.

He was her _best _friend, Noah Puckerman.

* * *

Please review :)


	16. Chapter 16

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: This was a fun chapter to write. I hope you enjoy it!

Completely blown away by the response to the last chapter, I think that's the most reviews I have had for a single chapter ever! So thank you very much, I'm certain it makes me work so much harder on this story (okay, that was a little bit of a hint)

Virtual chocolate cookies all round :)

Bree

* * *

"Hey Noah!" She said brightly, as though it was totally normal to knock on his door at half past 1 in the morning.

"Erm… Hey Rach? Where's the fire?"

She was staring at his bare chest, all squinty eyed and pouty, and he suddenly felt very exposed just in his sweat pants that he wore to sleep in.

"You", she said, prodding the centre of his chest, probably harder than she meant too because that shit hurt!

"You are particularly… _hot_", she said, baring her teeth with the last word.

His eyes widened.

"Berryjuice are you _drunk_?"

He sniggered a little, because she blatantly was.

"I'm not drunk!" she shrieked loudly, indignantly.

"Jeez woman! Keep your voice down! People are trying to sleep round here".

"I'm not drunk", she repeated, in a stage whisper this time. "I'm perfectly fine".

He was glad she was drunk, because he was totally _not_ staring at her smooth, tanned legs in that _miniscule _skirt.

He _was_ currently commending himself for his superior choice in outfit.

"I think you'd better come in", he said kindly, as though talking to a child.

She frowned at him.

"I don't really want to see Finn", she said, almost soberly. "He's my ex-boyfriend".

"You're alright- he's not here", Puck assured her, guiding her gently into the room and sitting her on the bed.

He passed her the glass of water he kept beside his bed. "Babe, you should try and drink some of this- you'll feel better for it".

"I feel fine", she returned. "I am fine".

He pressed the glass against her wrist. "Serious. Drink it".

She eyed it suspiciously. "I don't think I should drink any more", she said, a little sadly.

He sat down beside her and put his arm round her comfortingly.

"Don't worry babe- I'm gunna look after you. You're not _that _drunk- your body's just not used to any alcohol. But do drink this, it's only water".

She turned her big wide eyes up to him and took a dainty sip.

"That's it", he encouraged her. "And a little more".

She shifted closer to him and -_fuck-_ what was her hand doing down there on his thigh?

"You know Noah", she said seriously, wiping the water off her chin with the back of her hand in a casual swipe that had his whole mouth drying out. "Your lips look delicious".

"Delicious?" He stalled.

She shouldn't look at him like that.

She wouldn't look at him like that if she wasn't drunk.

Right?

"Yeah", she replied, and sort of flopped onto his chest in an attempt to be closer to him.

"Baby you're drunk", he reminded her gruffly, and swallowing thickly because her right hand had a mind of its own, palm flat and rubbing further and further up his thigh.

"And you need me to be your friend… I'm not about to prey on your vulnerableness- or whatever".

Even to him it sounded as though he was trying to remind himself of these things.

Next thing he knew her hot lips were _kissing his nipple- nipple ring and all._

He groaned and pushed her away.

Unperturbed, she grinned up at him. "You have a nipple ring and a mohawk", she said conversationally. "They are very attractive features".

He laughed, but it was mostly nervous laughter because she was looking slightly hungrily at his nipple ring and her hand just- _shit._

He relocated her hand to his shoulder, because at least there she couldn't feel the effects she was having on him.

"Good lord Rach", he gritted out, under his breath.

"I'm a virgin Noah", she said, still in the tone that was as though she was talking about the weather.

"Yup", he agreed, stilling her other hand with his and instead entwining their fingers.

That was still fucking erotic.

He had come to the decision that she could make anything erotic.

Probably even talking about the weather.

"Don't you want me?" She asked, her voice low and seductive. "Because I want you".

"Course I want you babe", he said, and the words had only come out to console her but he was slightly worried that his body began responding as though her really meant this in his heart.

She was suckling on his nipple again before he could stop her. When he did, he tilted her head up with his fingers under her chin so that she looked into his eyes.

"Raaachh. Rach, baby, you gotta stop because I'm just a man and…"

She stuck her bottom lip out and it was frickin' adorable.

"I'm trying to do the right thing", he managed, "I'm trying".

"The right thing might not always be obvious", she said seriously.

"Yeah…"

He turned his head away for a moment to try and clear his head of the foggy mess that was going on at that moment.

That was his big mistake.

He turned back, unsuspecting, and he had momentarily forgotten that she was _right there_, and she was kissing him, wet open mouthed kisses, and he was trying not to moan her name.

It was getting more and more difficult to push her away.

"C'mon Rach… We should get some sleep".

Well. There was no way he was leaving her alone like this.

And it was going to hurt like hell in the morning.

And he had told her he was going to look after her.

"But Nooaaahh", she whined. "Noah", her voice was breathless and she was so gorgeous, and she was lucky because guys were going to be falling in love with her all over the place.

He just wasn't the type of guy girls fell in love with. Not for more than a night anyway.

He scooped her up, and she was wriggling and he was having to contort his whole body to hold her appropriately.

He kicked over the covers, and laid her carefully down on his bed.

"Rach, just stay there a minute alright? I'll be back in less than a minute- okay?- don't move!"

* * *

To be fair, he had expected her to move, so he wasn't surprised that she was up, out of his bed, and standing in the middle of the room looking slightly lost.

He was surprised that her panties and tights were on the floor in a pile on his floor on top of her shoes.

He pointed this out to her.

"I can't sleep in tights Noah", she informed him, raising her eyebrows at the obviousness of the situation.

"But did you have to take your… underwear off as well?"

_She wasn't wearing any fucking underwear._

He cleared his throat with a scratchy cough.

She didn't answer him, yawning wide, and clambered onto his bed.

He allowed her to get comfortable, using this time to count, and study closely, the number of Finn's dirty socks dumped randomly around the room.

With a sigh, and a guilty look at the half asleep Rachel, he moved in behind her, pulling the duvet over them both and pressing a goodnight kiss to her warm neck.

* * *

Please review :)


	17. Chapter 17

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I do not own 'I'm Yours' by Jason Mraz.

AN: Holy sexual tension batman, is all I'm going to give away about this chapter (!). Thanks for your reviews, I wouldn't want to write at all if it wasn't for your kind words of approval.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Rachel awoke and her eyes pinged open, and she wished she'd opened them more slowly because now the room was spinning and she felt incredibly dizzy. Not to mention nauseous.

But she didn't want to move.

Her senses were still dumbed by sleep but she knew she just didn't have any drive to move.

She was so warm and comfortable and… _hang on a minute_.

Her heart skipped a beat.

She turned her head with difficulty, but the tiny glimpse of the familiar mohawk was all she needed to determine that she was in fact in Noah's bed, and she was, in fact, being _spooned _by Noah in Noah's bed.

(But she still really didn't want to move).

Noah made a sort of snuffly noise, and his face nuzzled deeper into the crook of her neck.

Bits and pieces of last night were forming an uncertain picture in her mind.

She remembered deciding that sampling the available alcohol was one of the opportunities that she was supposed to at least take one time.

She remembered playing hide and seek with Tina and Mike.

She remembered deciding that finding Noah was a high priority- the high_est _priority, and that because of this she couldn't possibly join Mike in leading the Macerana, and…

And now she was in Noah's bed.

She groaned softly, because her head was throbbing.

"Rach? Rach are you awake?"

_She wasn't wearing any underwear._

She gulped.

"Erm… Yeah, I'm awake…"

She felt the loss of heat of his hands around her middle more than she thought possible.

"Noah?"

"Yeah?"

He hadn't moved yet, and she was glad, because this way he couldn't see her face and she must look a complete mess, she supposed.

"I'm not wearing any underwear".

He gave a dry laugh.

"Did… did anything happen last night?" She asked timidly.

"No." he answered shortly.

"Nothing?"

He definitely imagined the hopefulness in her voice.

"Nothing happened", he said quickly. "You were a bit drunk, you took your underwear off then you fell asleep".

"Oh. Okay".

She probably dreamt about kissing his soft, delicious lips.

Her eyes widened because had she really just thought that?

"You stay right there", he instructed, sliding out of bed and smiling fondly at her.

She was all rumpled and confused and… well - cute.

"I'm just going to get you some coffee, there's still some water just beside you, and take some painkillers- alright?"

"Thanks Noah".

"You're welcome".

"No- I mean- really thanks. I don't think I would ever have even considered sampling an alcoholic beverage if I had not been confident in you being here, in case I needed you".

He gave her a rueful smile (did her eyes really dart to his nipple ring with a distant frown?).

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath, followed by a long exhale.

"Don't sit up too fast", he warned her gruffly, on his way out.

* * *

"Shit".

"Good morning to you too Puckerman!" Finn said, and Puck rolled his eyes at the way his hair was sticking up all over the place.

"You can't go into our room right now", he said casually.

"Why not?" Finn narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I just farted", Puck replied hastily, inspiration striking.

Finn scoffed. "Dude- I'll just open the window".

"Don't call me dude", Puck said civilly.

"Jeez- it's like you have a stick up your butt".

Puck frowned.

"I only need to get my hoody for Santana".

Puck made a face.

"Gross", he muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothin'".

"Let me past".

"No".

"Jeez. You need to get laid".

Puck bristled.

"Satan doesn't need your hoody", Puck argued, "She has hundreds of guys' hoodies.".

Finn scowled and pushed past him.

Puck panicked, and threw himself through the door as Finn opened it, forcing it shut with all his strength and gesturing wildly to Rachel, who was pulling her tights on and had a pair of his socks on her hands like mittens.

"What the fuck is going on?" Finn yelled, banging on the door. "Let me in!"

Rachel's eyes widened and she was under the bed with lightning speed.

Puck's hold on the door weakened as he was hit by the realisation that they were covering up for nothing. Nothing. Right?

Finn came falling through the door, his eyes darting furtively about.

He shrugged, finding nothing.

"I thought you were hiding a girlfriend, but then I remembered that you don't do girlfriends".

Puck frowned.

"Fuck off Hudson", he growled.

Finn gave him a final glance, as though he was convinced he was hiding something, grabbed his hoody, and left.

Puck groaned inwardly because _nothing_ had happened, right? Was it a sign that he had to keep reminding himself that?

And why was Rachel under the bed?

* * *

Sometime later in the morning, after a sneaky 'you can stay and snuggle- Santana's keeping Finn away and we need to wait anyway, until the drugs kick in', Puck was sitting on top of the top-loader washing machine, strumming his guitar, watching Rachel pair his socks and fold his boxers into a neat pile.

He saw her little smile at his favourite pac man boxers, and soon found that he was playing the chords to an actual song.

She flashed him a smile, recognising the tune, and singing softly along, and this time, he didn't wait to join in.

_**Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it**_

_**I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted**_

_**I fell right through the cracks, now I'm tryin to get back**_

_**Before the cool done run out I'll be givin it my best test**_

_**And nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention**_

_**I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some**_

_**But I won't hesitate no more,**_

_**No more, it cannot wait**_

_**I'm yours**_

_**Well open up your mind and see like me**_

_**Open up your plans and damn you're free**_

_**Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love**_

_**Listen to the music at the moment people dance and sing**_

_**Were just one big family**_

_**And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved**_

_**So, I won't hesitate no more,**_

_**No more, it cannot wait i'm sure**_

_**There's no need to complicate our time is short**_

_**This is our fate**_

_**I'm yours…**_

And then the room went black.

He placed his guitar carefully beside him, and why the hell weren't there any windows at all in the laundry room?

"Rach?"

"Is it a blackout?" came the small voice of a reply.

He slid carefully onto the floor.

"Yeah I reckon…"

"I can't even remember where the door is", she said glumly, and something stirred inside him at the slight waver in her voice.

"Hey don't worry", he took a step towards her, stretching his hand out in front of him. "Where are you?"

"I'm here", she laughed, nervously, "Not that that's much help… There is _absolutely_ no light in here".

"Yeah there is", Puck returned, "Look at all the little sparkly lights on the machines… It's kinda pretty- I guess".

She laughed again, musically this time, the nervousness gone.

Her laughter stopped abruptly.

"Is that you?" He questioned, lowly.

"Yeah… "

"Is it your?"

"Yes. That is my left breast".

So why couldn't he seem to move his hand away?

"Right. Sorry".

He let his hand drop to his side.

She moved closer to him, and she didn't realise quite how close he was, and now she could feel his warm breath on her cheek.

"It's a great song", she commented airily, though her throat felt strangely constricted and she could sense a flushing heat creep across her skin and right to her fingertips.

"Yeah… Yeah it is".

She was looking up at him, and he was looking down at her, and although it was difficult to tell in the dark, she was sure that there must be an _absolute maximum_ of 2 inches between their lips.

And she really wanted to close that gap.

He sucked in a shaky breath, because she was _so close_ and he was reliving the melting sensation of her lips moving against his and he couldn't stop himself from longing for a repeat of that.

And this time he would definitely respond.

And it would definitely be _fucking amazing._

Now there was just barely 1 inch of air space preventing lips-on-lips contact.

A kiss, she told herself sternly, she wanted to _kiss _Noah. _Noah._

And she gasped, because she had a rush preminition that she'd been here before, and rather than scaring her, this only seemed to make her want it more.

It would be at that moment that the light turned back on again.

They jumped apart, and Noah suddenly became very interested in the slight scratch on the neck of his guitar, and Rachel grabbed at a few socks and absentmindedly unpaired a few pairs of them.

"Erm… that was scary back there", Rachel said, "Sometimes blackouts can go on for hours… I guess we were lucky".

Puck muttered under his breath, preferring to think that it would have been luckier if the lights _had_ been off for hours.

Maybe then he wouldn't still be wondering. Maybe then his head wouldn't be hurting with all this deep and meaningful thinking going on…

He tried to be content with pulling her into a tight reassuring hug, but all he could think about was how perfectly her tiny form fitted against his body.

So maybe nothing had happened, but that didn't mean they didn't _want_ something to happen.

* * *

Please review :)


	18. Chapter 18

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: I am still reeling from the fact that I have received over 100 reviews for this story. Thank you very much, I hope I can continue writing well enough to deserve your support.

The italics is Rachel's flashback.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 18**

The next day was a Saturday, but Puck didn't have a chance to lie in bed and mull over those thoughts still muttering (he supposed it was more like mad screaming, if he was being honest) at the back of his mind about Rachel, as his alarm rang at 6.45am for training.

He turned weary eyes to Finn's empty bed.

He wondered briefly how Santana had both Finn and her cousin staying in her room, but really, he was too tired to care all that much.

And he had much more important things on his mind (namely Rachel).

To try and push these aside he concentrated on the coach's orders and concentrated on making every muscle in his body burn, and concentrated on the mental satisfaction this gave him.

He barely noticed Finn join the line in front of him as they ran circuits over low hurdles.

And he still hadn't managed to completely control the stuff that came out of his mouth.

"How was Lopez?"

Finn glanced at him with a questioning expression.

"How was 'Berry'?" he shot back, his mouth twitching into an ironic smile.

Puck didn't have a chance to question whether or not that was just a coincidental comment or whether he had also noticed something in the air, as adrenaline surged through his body, and he forced his gaze to the grass and his knees higher.

"I'm not going to fight you Hudson", he growled, as they rounded the corner to the rope ladders.

Finn ignored him.

"Right! Take 5 ladies! Starting… now!"

Puck sat down on the grass, stretching out his legs in front of him and flexing his ankles.

Finn came and sat beside him.

"Are you scared or something? You were supposed to have this fearsome reputation!"

He paused.

"Ha. Look at the gay kid run".

It wasn't so much what he said, Puck knew he was trying anything to get a rise from him. For some reason, the giant wanted desperately to add 'won in a fight against Puck' onto his list of 'achievements' at NYU.

It was the fact that the idiot said it loud enough so that the guy jogging, who Puck recognised as Kurt Hummel and could see the hurt on his face instantly, could hear.

So he lunged at him, and Finn scrambled to his feet, and took the first punch to his chest, and they were fighting without rules or respect and Kurt was there, and Puck caught him saying something about 'he's not worth it Puck- I can deal with it', and Finn clipped Kurt's jaw on his way past and Puck's fury increased to dangerous levels.

"You're a shit Hudson", Puck snarled, sending the taller guy to the floor with a strong push fuelled by hatred and protectiveness and being right.

Mike and Matt and a few other footballers were there to hold Finn back as he struggled to his feet again, and Puck was stood there the bigger man, and it was a _fucking_ good feeling.

"You guys have got way too much energy!" The coach yelled, and Puck threw one last death glare in Finn's direction.

"Puckerman- go take this guy to get cleaned up- the rest of you- drop down and give me 20!"

* * *

So they were sat in the changing rooms on the bench, and Kurt was holding a paper towel to his cut lip, and Puck was being bombarded with words.

"You just don't stop talking do you Hummel?" Puck muttered, but it wasn't aggressively.

Kurt laughed. "Oh", he said innocently, "The strong and silent type are we?"

Puck frowned, which only made Kurt laugh harder.

"Okay, I'll talk about something that I know you will be interested in".

Puck pretended to not look too intrigued.

"Look, Kurt, I think you're cool or whatever, and you helped Rach… But I'm not interested in _fashion_ or _colour schemes _or _whatever…"_

"You _were_ listening!" Kurt exclaimed, and Puck shuffled about a bit, nervously.

"You will go far in life, Puckerman, if you can manage to listen to someone waffling on like that even if it looks like you're not".

Puck raised his eyebrows.

"It's about Rachel", Kurt continued.

"Yeah? What about her?"

Kurt smirked at the quickness of his questions.

He'd rather it be her telling him, but he didn't want to hurt her by bringing up things from the past which she obviously wasn't ready to deal with yet.

And besides, the more he knew about her, the better he would be at being her friend.

And dammit he wanted to be the _best_ at being her friend... or the best guy for her…or whatever.

Kurt smirked.

"You guys are cute together", he commented. "It's like my purple shirt and my favourite grey trousers with ruffles- things that just shouldn't go well together but do".

"We're not together", Puck said, remembering. "We're really close is all".

"I didn't imply you were romantically involved", Kurt said, "you were obviously thinking about it though?"

"We're best friends", he said defensively, because he was suddenly worried Kurt had somehow spotted that he wasn't doing the whole 'friend' thing right… was he too …_him_?

"Anyway, you were talking…"

Kurt nodded once, curtly.

"You're not a bad guy, Puck", he said quietly, almost as though he was thinking out loud. "I've met my fair share of bad guys, and you don't need to worry, even your default setting doesn't even come close".

Puck sat there silently, suddenly feeling like he was holding up a fort mostly on his own.

Kurt took a deep breath.

* * *

_The school was incredible- it was everything she'd ever imagined a high school to be- the perfect environment to nurture and challenge her creative talents- the perfect environment for her to prepare for being a star._

_And she immediately felt like she fitted in here, the moment she walked in the door. Nobody looked at her like she had escaped from the mental asylum and was carrying an axe. Instead, only friendly smiles as she walked past people practising harmonies in the corridor next to their lockers._

_And, she knew her auditioning song was good enough._

_Although it was not strictly a performing arts school, she had been asked to prepare a song to sing, as the show choir was taken very seriously, and transfers half-way through term time were permitted only if the candidate was good enough to compete as part of the team._

_So she was expecting the mike on the stage and the panel of school VIPs sitting in the front row, with clipboards in their laps._

_She wasn't expecting the interrogation. _

_They knew all the questions to ask to make her terrified, she had never had stage fright before but that must have been close to what it felt like. Her palms were sweating, she was shaking, and she had no time to think about what she was saying in answer to their questions, and her words became even more jumbled with every note that was furiously scribbled on a clipboard._

_She hadn't even got to sing her song._

"_We don't think you are what we are looking for", the dark haired woman said, she seemed to be in charge, but it was off-putting the way she would not look directly at Rachel._

_Rachel was always what they were looking for, and right then, the one thing that she had been preparing her whole life to prevent her from experiencing was staring her right in the face. The whole reason she was so determined and had meticulously mapped out her life was so that she would never have to face her one true fear._

_Failure. _

_She didn't remember leaving the stage and finding herself in some kind of practise room, her heart beating in her mouth._

"_I'm Kurt", the boy had said, and sat her down on a plastic seat._

"_I have to get out of here", Rachel heard herself say, her voice a scared whisper._

"_Lend me your pen and I'll draw you a map", Kurt had said. "You must be Rachel Berry"._

_His sympathy for her was almost guilty._

_

* * *

_

"They fixed it so that she didn't get in", Kurt summarised, "Under instruction from Ms Corcoran. Because she wasn't ready to tell her she was her mother".

Puck continued to sit there for a while, after Kurt had left to work on his project.

He just couldn't get his head round why anybody would not want to take the opportunity to love and care for Rachel Berry.

She deserved so much more than all that.

He felt a strange deep stirring inside his chest and his breath caught in his throat.

"OY! Puckerman!"

Puck looked up to see Mike and Matt standing in front of him, grinning.

"I'm just gunna find Rachel", Mike explained, "She wanted a bit of advice on what kind of choreography to do with her audition piece… D'ya wanna come too? There's a game on later as well."

Puck jumped up.

It had been at least 12 hours since he last saw Rachel anyway.

"And dude, we totally got your back if Finn's a shit again", Mike added. "That giant is a tool for what he did to Rachel".

Puck nodded briefly in thanks.

"Puck… Saw what you did for that Kurt dude", Matt said gruffly, just as Puck turned to walk away.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. That was real solid."

"Thanks".

He wondered if Rachel would have heard about it yet.

He felt like he'd earned one of those smiles.

(And maybe even a _kiss _of those gorgeous full lips)…

* * *

Please review :)


	19. Chapter 19

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Just to let you guys know, in this fic, Puckleberry are endgame.

I say this because I don't mean to be a tease, and things will happen… Okay, I don't want to say too much :p

As ever, thank you for the reviews, it makes me happy :)

I am very grateful to anyone who has continued to stick by and support this story. I'll try not to let you guys down.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 19**

She was in the auditorium, which was eerily empty and quiet apart from some chatter from Tina and Mercedes sitting on the side of the stage looking over sheet music.

Instead of following the noise though, his eyes were instantly drawn to Rachel, as she stretched gracefully just off the centre of the stage, her legs as long and elegant as ever in skin coloured tights, and her body so sleek and…

"Noah!"

She bounded over to him, and his tongue darted out to wet his much too dry lips hastily.

"Noah- I heard what happened- oh your eye! Are you okay?"

His hands went to rest on her hips because he just had to stop her bouncing around. It was… _distracting._ And made him look at her in ways he shouldn't, and he was beginning to realise that these were ways that he found weren't prevented as they usually were when he looked at girls…

"Noah?"

"Hey babe… I'm fine honest".

She cast a glance over her shoulder, to check that Mike and Matt were busily talking to the girls.

She looked right into his eyes, and one of her cute small hands tightened on his shoulder.

Rachel rocked forward onto the balls of her feet to whisper softly in his ear.

"You were amazing".

Her breath was hot in his ear, and he felt a warm flush spread over his face.

"Nah", he replied, gruffly. "It was nothing".

She was still just gazing into his eyes, and he was worried about what she could see there, because he was finding it difficult to calm his increasing heart rate and to calm the urge to pull her fully against him.

"I know I wasn't there", she continued, and the fingers of her other hand were playing with the pocket of his jacket. "But what you did was… amazing".

He didn't want to tell her it had just been a 2 minute scuffle and that his eye socket was throbbing, because that shine in her eyes was respect for him. For _him_.

"There's a tiny little cut above your left eye", she said, her fingertips leaving his pocket to brush gently over the sensitive area. "Does it hurt?"

She had obviously felt him wince slightly.

"A bit".

She nodded. "I have some antiseptic stuff… we won't be long here…"

"I'm not going anywhere babe", he said quickly, and grinned as she did.

* * *

Rachel only half listened to Mike's suggestions as she mimed through her performance.

Her eyes were on Noah, as he sat there on the front row, a little smile of pride and serenity on his face as he watched her every move.

Every now and then he would meet her gaze, and the little smile changed into a lop-sided smirk of encouragement, and she wondered if he would come and be there for her audition, because even just knowing he was there seemed to spark a deeper enthusiasm inside her.

The door at the back of the auditorium opened with a creak, and Mike stopped mid-flow.

"3 weeks", Santana's voice came clearly before she appeared in the doorway. "I'm going to add a week the longer you stand there dithering!"

"3 weeks? But… _San…_"

Now Finn was standing in the doorway too, and Rachel found herself gravitating towards Noah, taking small steps across the stage as the pair of incomers edged into the auditorium.

"4 weeks", Santana announced. "4 whole weeks… can you really wait for 4 whole weeks?"

Finn scowled at her.

She pushed him roughly further down the carpeted aisle.

"I'm going!", he exclaimed.

Rachel watched with bated breath as Finn walked grumpily towards the stage.

As he approached she took some satisfaction from viewing the purple bruise forming on his cheekbone.

Santana followed him, a sort of smug smile on her face.

"Finn has something he wants to say to you Berry", she told her loudly.

Rachel realised she was about to fall off the edge of the stage, in her travelling towards Noah, and stepped back quickly.

There was a pause, and Rachel saw Santana count 5 on her fingers and thumb and wave it in Finn's face.

"Rach… I need to say sorry", he said, all in a rush.

Santana scoffed.

There was a long silence, and Rachel stared avidly at the peeling paint on the edge of the stage.

Rachel realised everyone was waiting for her to say something.

"Well, at least that's something", she said quietly, a new found respect for Santana Lopez.

She cast a glance to Noah, who gave a small nod. She noticed how he hadn't even turned to look at Finn, and instead kept his eyes fixed on her the whole time.

"It's better than nothing", Santana agreed. "And if any of you guys see my cousin can you let me know?"

They disappeared as suddenly as they arrived, and it hurt Rachel somewhere that Finn reached for Santana's hand as they walked away from the stage.

But she was firm in her resolve that there _was_ someone who would love her in return, as much if not more than she loved them.

She forced herself not to look over at Noah, and her chest constricted.

* * *

"I'm going to wipe it with this antiseptic wipe first", Rachel warned him. "It's going to sting".

He smiled bravely at her, closing his eyes, partly because he didn't want it to go in his eyes, but mainly so that he stopped noticing how close her breasts were to his face.

"I don't love him anymore", she said conversationally, before lowering the wipe to his cut.

Puck stayed quiet, sensing there was more she wanted to say.

Rachel spoke into the one open soft hazel eye.

"I thought I would love him forever- but I won't".

There was a pause, and her hand rested on his forehead.

"You going to kiss it better first?" Puck asked cheekily, opening his other eye.

She raised her eyebrow coyly.

"Kiss it better?"

"I'd do the same for you", he promised.

Her heart fluttered a little just at the thought.

It wasn't her fault, she decided. _Just look at him._

But really, it wasn't just the fact that he was _sinfully _attractive. It was also what she couldn't physically _see_.

It was just a bonus that it came in such a delectable package.

She took a deep breath, forcing her heart rate to slow.

"You would?"

He scoffed.

"Course", he said breezily, then closed his eye again, because he didn't want to see if she was scared by what he was about to say.

"I would kiss wherever you wanted me to".

There was a short silence, and he tried to listen to her breathing, but couldn't hear it over his own.

Rachel pressed her lips ever so gently over his eyebrow for a few short seconds.

And his skin burned.

"My jaw kinda hurts too", he said casually, his voice scratchier than he had realised, and a slight hopefullness in his tone.

He didn't want to push his luck too much.

He let out his breath in a rush as her lips unhesitatingly pressed fleetingly against his rough jawline, lingering here longer than could be attributed to imagination.

Rachel wondered how it was possible that with just this subtle intimacy she could be fighting to hold back a soft sigh of contentment.

"What about my throat?" She whispered.

He sat up a little, and she pulled away the antiseptic wipe.

"From all the singing".

She froze for a millisecond, as she realised that she hadn't actually been singing, just miming along to a pre-recorded track.

But he didn't hesitate to lean forward, his hot breath tingling her skin, nudging at her chin with his nose to encourage her to lean her head back.

His lips ghosted the curve of her throat and a silent whimper escaped her lips.

"_Rach_", he nearly hummed her name against her neck.

She gave him the encouragement he needed, leaning against him, his lips automatically melting against her flushed skin, his thumbs digging into her hipbones as she sat there crossways on his lap.

He was enveloped by her fruity passionate scent, the taste of her skin as he darted his tongue out and he needed more.

Her body was awash with a newly discovered raw desire bubbling up from deep inside her and she wanted more.

When he pulled away to take in great gulps of air, nothing was going to be the same between them ever again.

"S'that better?"

She managed some kind of weird choking noise, and quickly tried to disguise it as a coughing fit.

"S'better", she stuttered, and lowered the antiseptic wipe to his forehead.

* * *

Please review :)


	20. Chapter 20

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Okay a bit of drama, a bit of fluff. The ball is most definitely beginning to roll…

Thank you for your reviews :D

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 20**

5.31 am. _A- fucking- m._

On a _Sunday._

He fumbled for his phone beside his bed.

"Hello?"

"Is this Noah Puckerman speaking?"

The serious tone of the speaker had him immediately wide awake.

"Erm… yes it is… Is something wrong?"

Something definitely felt wrong.

He sat up in bed, and he was already imagining where he could find clothes easily to pull on.

"Noah we need you to come to the New York Presbyterian Hospital", the serious voice informed him. "There's been an accident".

* * *

"Rach! Rach!"

Why could he still find time to find her all half asleep and confused state cute?

"Rach!"

"Noah- what's wrong?" she asked in alarm.

His eyes were wide with agitation and his body held tense.

Sleep was forgotten in an instant.

"I know you've got that audition… I have to go to the hospital… Accident…"

"Don't move", she said, and she hurriedly dressed behind the door, "and keep breathing".

He grabbed her hand and his anxiety was already starting to scare her.

"Where do we need to get to?" She asked.

She said we again.

He suddenly wished he was dragging her off in the middle of the night to bake cookies.

Cookies he could deal with.

"New York Presbyterian Hospital", he rushed out.

He was crushing her hand in his.

"I remember Mike saying he has a car here somewhere", she told him, and he tried to resist the temptation to squeeze her in a bear hug and cry into her hair. "We'll find him".

A few tears escaped.

"Is it Beth?" Rachel asked quietly, and he barely heard her.

"How..?"

"I figured Beth's mother wouldn't have given their details to the hospital records in association with the child she was giving away… But you would".

"78", Puck said gruffly, pointing down the corridor with his free hand.

Rachel squeezed his hand.

"I'm coming with you", she told him.

"_Rach_…"

* * *

Mike came to the door.

"No- I don't have any condoms you guys…" Then his sleep addled brain fully registered the panicked state of Puck and he stopped abruptly, embarrassed.

"Can we borrow your car?" Rachel requested, and without thinking, she had drawn herself closer into Noah's body, allowing him to hold her for comfort.

"I'll drive you", Mike said quickly, grabbing a hoody off the back of his chair and pulling it on over his head as he latched the door closed behind him.

"I'm quicker than a map".

Puck leaned up against the side of the car, and his hands were braced either side of him on the backseat as though he was ready to run as soon as the car stopped.

And he was ready to run towards everything he had been healing from.

Because he wasn't his fucking deadbeat father.

He wasn't going to abandon his child.

He was going to be there, shouting orders at the doctors and nurses, by her side.

She would wake up and she would say 'Daddy' in this voice full of pride and awe.

His hand slid across the backseat to find Rachel's, and he let out a deep exhale as she entwined their fingers.

Rachel.

_Rachel._

He didn't dare look across at her. With emotions running high he felt sure he was going to do something stupid.

Something that he really wanted to do.

(But was it really stupid?)

But he knew that wasn't the reason that he should assure her she could go back with Mike when he dropped them…him off.

He wanted to prove to her… himself, that he could do this shit.

He could get himself into gear, think for himself in a positive way and make good decisions.

Except, so far Rachel had always been there to help him through, and he was angry, at himself, because she couldn't just be there for him all the time.

That was just above and beyond.

Rachel relaxed immediately as she felt the weight of Noah's warm hand on hers.

She was worried that she had done too much.

It was just instinctive, her reaction to take control of the situation and her default setting of super-organised and authoritativeness had kicked in with one look at the frozen terror on Noah's handsome features.

But she knew by now, that this 'road of self-discovery' that she was watching Noah take, was something that he felt he had to progress along through his own achievements

In the past, she'd always felt like a spare part, as though her true role was not to be found in all the places she had looked for it.

As part of a friendship group; as part of a new school; as part of the 'perfect' relationship.

Here, now, with Noah', by his side; the way they held each other up, the way they just… 'got' each other. She didn't feel like a spare part, she felt like she belonged.

But she didn't ever want to outstay her welcome.

The blankness of his expression as he turned to her when Mike pulled into the layby outside the hospital entrance confirmed her intuition.

"You have my number if you need me", Rachel whispered softly.

Puck undid his seatbelt and shuffled quickly across to hug her close with a fierceness of how grateful he was for her.

"Be awesome at your audition", he said gruffly, burying his face in her strawberry scented hair.

She had completely forgotten about that.

He slowly pulled away, and she decisively pressed a barely registered kiss to his jawline, which was rough with stubble.

"I don't need to tell you to be awesome", she murmured, "You will be".

And he was gone, out across to the steps, his hands rammed into his jean pockets and his jaw set in determination.

* * *

"Are you going to be alright?" Mike asked, as he pulled away. "Without him".

Rachel thought about this carefully.

She thought about the way round Mike had asked the question too.

"Don't you mean is _he _going to be alright?"

Mike frowned. "No".

He took a deep breath. "You'll worry about him", he said simply.

"Yes", Rachel reasoned, "But I'm not his mother- he can look after himself".

Mike hastily corrected himself. "No...that's not what I meant".

"I don't really know what you do mean", Rachel said patiently.

They were both independent young adults. They could function without each other- couldn't they?

"I don't mean you guys can't be apart", Mike attempted to explain, "Just that you're better together… Like when I see Puck without you, it's like he's just waiting to be with you again, even if he just has been".

"Oh", was all Rachel could manage to say.

Then she remembered something Noah had once said. "Well… we're close".

"Yeah… Don't you think he'll be too proud to ask you to be there when he needs you?"

"Not to ask _me_", Rachel said, though her confidence was wavering slightly.

Mike drove in silence for a while, and Rachel checked her phone a few times.

"Okay, okay, pull over", she sighed, after a few minutes of this.

Mike grinned and she raised her eyebrow at him in the interior mirror.

"But at least wait 20 minutes or so… I don't want to seem too clingy".

* * *

Please review :)


	21. Chapter 21

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: I can never thank you guys enough for reviewing, subscribing, and just reading this story. :D

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Puck stood in the much too white corridor, his head throbbing with the intensity of the bright white lights and the overpowering smell of disinfectant.

He stood staring at his cell phone.

And yes, he knew the fucking thing wasn't going to dial her number on its own no matter how hard he willed it to do so.

He knew he would have to actually talk to her, he knew he would have to be the one to offer some sort of explanation.

And this wasn't even the hardest phone call he would have to make today.

His head whipped round so fast when he heard footsteps at the other end of the corridor.

He was terrified as every minute passed that they would send a nurse out looking for him, since he had checked in at reception about 20 minutes ago and hadn't yet made it to the recovery ward.

They had assured him that his daughter was fine- 'just mild concussion'.

He had been called because it was the condition of her adoptive mother that was currently labelled as 'critical' and meant that an alternative responsible adult had to be found as a contingency.

Apparently the illusive Shelby had no traceable friends or relatives on records.

"Noah?"

Fuck. _Fuck yes._

"Rach?... Did I call you?"

She walked right up to him, and her expression was almost as anxious as he assumed his was.

"No. And I'm sorry. If you want me to go please tell me now, because I will, if you want me to that is. But if you want me to stay, please tell me as well, because, well, I don't…"

"Shut up", he said gruffly, and grabbed her wrist to pull her against his solid body.

He pressed hot lips above her ear.

"So fucking glad you came", he muttered and squeezed her close before releasing her, his hand finding hers.

"Where is she?" Rachel asked eventually, and she felt that something more had changed slightly, in that they had both almost outright admitted that they harboured some kind of healthy dependence on each other that pushed at the boundaries of just being 'friends'.

Puck pointed, and started walking, because his confidence was back with a vengeance.

"There was a car crash", he explained shortly, rubbing his stubble with his spare hand. "Some _shit_ went into the front of her adoptive mum's car".

Rachel nodded.

"Beth's fine- concussion or whatever, but Shelby is in critical condition".

She missed a step and stumbled slightly, leaning on him to right herself again.

"Shelby? That's an unusual name".

A name that alone had her palms start to sweat.

"Beds 8 and 9", he informed her, "They put them together here and moved all the machine crap for Shelby".

"Mr Puckerman?"

"Yup".

"I'm so glad you could make it. It is a relief to find anyone who is associated with this family".

Puck shrugged. "Just doin' what I have to do".

The nurse gave him a small smile.

"You don't have to be here at all", she reminded him gently, "But I'm sure they will be very grateful that you are".

"Neither of them really know me", Puck muttered.

The nurse didn't hear him.

"We have just this minute sedated Beth", she continued, gesturing to what was visible of the sleeping girl facing away from them. "Her screaming was disrupting for the other patients".

Puck grinned. "That's my girl", he said, under his breath.

He turned to Rachel, and his grin turned to a frown of concern at her pale blank face.

"That _is _the same woman who turned down my application to transfer to her school", she choked out.

"Yeah… but it was only because she didn't want you to know…" He broke off, realising what he was about to reveal. "Er…"

Shit. Shitting shit.

Rachel's eyes widened.

"Know what?" She asked timidly.

"I just need to check on the other patients", the nurse interrupted, "call me if you need anything… Shelby is now in a stable state".

Puck glanced at Shelby, wincing at the number of tubes attached to her unconcious body.

So that was Rachel's ma.

He felt conflicting emotions at the sight of her hauntingly familiar (now) dark brown hair.

One was of the gracious respect with which he viewed the woman who had adopted his child and given her everything he couldn't have given her as a messed up teenager.

The other, a welling anger against the hurt and self-esteem destruction that she had caused for Rachel.

He shook himself, but that didn't change the fact that the fucking universe was no bigger than the palm of his fucking hand.

"I'm so sorry Rach", he said, pleadingly, but he wasn't ever going to lie to her.

It only took one look into those beautiful brown eyes to know that for sure.

But sometimes telling the truth hurt more.

"What's going on?" She stuttered.

"You should probably sit down", Puck said heavily, gesturing to the chair between the hospital beds.

"Noah?"

"Rach… I have to tell you this, because I know if someone knew something like this about _me_, I would want to know it and I would be angry if I found out from someone else without hearing it first from the person who knew it In the first place…"

"Just tell me Noah".

"Like ripping off a band aid?" he asked, giving her a watery smile, "Or the long and detailed version from the very beginning?"

"The band aid", Rachel replied decisively.

"Okay".

He sat down cross legged on the floor facing her.

He had no idea what he was letting himself in for, but he knew he had to tell her.

Some things just happened, and sometimes there was nothing you could do to stop them from happening.

"Shelby Corcoran is your ma", he rushed out.

Rachel gasped, spluttered, and threw up on Puck's shoes.

* * *

Please review :)


	22. Chapter 22

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: This story is for everyone who reads, subscribes to and especially those who review it.

(And I suppose it's for Ruby too, for beta-ing!)

Thanks :D

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 22**

"You know, I don't really like feet", Rachel said conversationally.

"Oh. Sorry. I can move them if you want?"

"No! I was just about to say- I don't normally like feet, but yours…"

She blushed, and he laughed.

"S'alright babe- I know my feet are sexy", he wiggled his toes and she splashed water at his face.

There was a silence, and just the quiet splashed of the water dripping from Puck's socks and shoes as they lay on the radiator drying out.

"Thank you for telling me Noah", Rachel said eventually. "It means a lot to me that you treat me like that".

"Like what?" He asked gently, shuffling to be more comfortable on the closed toilet seat.

"You know… like a normal person… I guess, my dads have always been too protective, and some other people just intentionally ignorant…"

She paused.

"How long did the nurse say Beth was going to be out?"

"A few hours… I'm not going to wait to see her", he replied firmly.

He shrugged.

"I just _know _that she's happy with her lot, and I also know that I don't want the first time she sees her daddy to be in a hospital with her ma attached to a drip".

Rachel nodded, understanding in her soft brown eyes.

"Yes. And I don't particularly want to be here when Shelby wakes up either. I totally agree about the inappropriateness of this location for any family reunion emotions".

Puck nodded grimly.

"I was thinkin' of writing a note… you wanna write one for Shelby too?"

"That is a good idea", she murmured. "I'll go find some paper and pens or something… there must be a little shop somewhere on this site".

"You sure? 'Cos I don't really mind wet shoes and stuff…"

Her hand rubbed on his leg of its own accord.

"It's fine", she assured him. "I won't be long… You'll be here when I get back?"

"Of course", he confirmed. "I'll wait for you- I'm not goin' anywhere".

He meant it.

They needed each other, and not just for this incident.

* * *

They found a waiting area in one of the less busy corridors in the quietest wing in the hospital, Puck walking barefoot down the halls on the cold linoleum, and carrying his sodden shoes and socks at arm's length.

He flopped down onto one the tired leather couch stretching his arm out with the intention of leaving a Rachel shaped space beneath it.

She filled it unhesitatingly, tugging at his t shirt to pull herself against him.

"I don't know what to write", she admitted quietly, setting the pen and writing paper on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Neither do I", Puck returned.

"I'm finding it hard to think of positive things to say about someone who obviously doesn't want anything to do with me, and has hurt me, and is my _mother_".

He mumbled something in reply.

"What was that?"

He huffed.

"Erm… Well… I just reckon if she knew you properly, or whatever, she would be proud to call you her daughter".

His smile reward was brighter than the hospital's ceiling lights.

And those things were a freakin' million watts.

"You should write that", he suggested.

* * *

_Beth,_

_Don't ever let anyone make you cry- alright? And if they do, ask you mommy to ring me and I'll come __bash__ talk to them._

_I love you my beautiful girl,_

_Daddy._

_

* * *

_

_Dear Shelby,_

_I understand your decision to not contact me as my mother. I do not necessarily respect it, for I feel that on many occasions my life was severely lacking in the presence of a mother figure._

_I have, however, come to terms with it. You may be surprised as to how quickly I have achieved this definitive closure, but it was really just something __my__ someone told me._

_And I can believe it too. Now._

_If you were to know me as your daughter, you would be very proud to call me that._

_Rachel._

_

* * *

_

"I should call Quinn", Puck said, as he folded his note and placed it on top of Rachel's. "I think it's right that she knows… even if she doesn't care. Sometimes, I reckon she was just pretending though… And I dunno how she did that…"

He was silenced by Rachel slipping her small arms around him, and nuzzling her head against his chest with a sigh.

"Do you feel better for doin' that babe?"

She nodded.

"Yes. Thank you. Do you want me to go somewhere so you can ring Quinn?"

"No! God no".

He hastily reached for his cell and began searching for her number as though Rachel was about to run off and leave him.

Before he pressed ring, he turned to Rachel.

"Can we… keep all this just between us? Until we're ready or whatever?"

Rachel nodded seriously.

"Pinky promise?" She suggested lightly.

He grinned and held her wrist as she held out her little finger.

Rachel forgot even why she was sitting there with her little finger sticking out as he brushed his lips over the very tip and held his cell to his ear in one swift movement that had her wondering if it had even happened.

Waiting for the ringing to stop was more agonising than he had been expecting. He had been lulled into security and comfort lounging there on the couch with Rachel.

"Puck? Noah Puckerman?"

"Yup. That is my name".

Quinn's laugh was nervous.

"Why are you ringing me? I didn't think you would ever be drunk enough…"

Puck suppressed an angry growl, and Rachel tightened her embrace around him.

"Yeah… Look, Quinn, I'm ringing you 'cos for some stupid reason I thought you had a right to know about our child even though you've never expressed an interest in her life since the second you found out she was conceived".

"What's with all the long words and lack of cussing?" Quinn asked, and Puck frowned at the amusement in her voice. "Are you banging college chicks with brains?"

Puck took a deep calming breath.

He realised his fingernails were digging into Rachel's thigh and quickly loosened his grip on her soft smooth skin.

"Puck?"

He tore his attention away from Rachel's legs.

"Yuh. Right. Whatever. So, Shelby and Beth were in a car accident, and, they're both fine now. That's all I wanted to tell you. Bye…"

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Thanks. You didn't have to ring. So thank you".

"Whatever".

People kept saying he didn't have to do things; but he felt like he did.

But it wasn't feeling like a chore.

It just felt like these were things he should have been doing all along.

It felt good.

"What time's your audition?" He asked, noticing a clock on the wall.

"Oh yeah, erm… 10.30".

"Shit. We better run".

He got up and turned expectantly to Rachel, who was looking down at her feet.

"Rach?"

She looked at him, right into those hazel eyes which were still swirling with unquieted emotions. He was tired and emotionally exhausted, but was forcing energy into his limbs for her benefit.

She offered him a small smile.

She was tired too. A lot had happened that morning, and a shift in perspective had left her still reeling.

"_Neither_ of us want me to go to the audition", she said quietly.

He said nothing. There was no point in arguing, something told him she knew him well enough to speak for him.

It was the same something that told him he knew her in the same way.

"I'm sorry Rach".

She shook her head vigorously.

"Come on", she said, slipping her small hand into his large one. "Let's go find this nurse and pass on the letters. I know a little place we should go".

* * *

Please review :)


	23. Chapter 23

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I also do not own Bugsy Malone (apart from on dvd!).

AN: Thank you for your reviews, and for subscribing and reading this story :D

You are all amazing!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 23**

"Seriously Rach, how did you find this place?"

He looked around the café which she'd managed to find without a map, and with only memories of the position of advertisement boards as directions.

Torn adverts of old Broadway shows revealed beneath new ones brought a sad sort of twinking into her eyes.

Just a week ago, he would never have pictured Rachel in the 50's diner they were now sitting in, complete with bright red and yellow decor, with black and white posed photographs on the walls.

And the juke box that stood in the corner, and the menu of high grease content options which he was sure she would feel weren't good for her vocal cords.

But sat there on the red plastic chairs at the wobbly table in the corner, the place felt like some kind of alternate universe where the outside world just went by without you noticing.

The people around were all talking and happy, and maybe they had similar shit going on as they did outside in the grey world, but inside with the corny music and the waitresses wearing shocking pink aprons (which quite obviously- even to him- clashed horribly with the red theme colours), in there it didn't matter for a while.

She smiled at him.

"Do you like it? I like it because it's nothing like anything about me or my life".

He nodded slowly, completely understanding her logic, then opening the menu on the table in front of him.

"It's cool", he said, "And I would kill for something deep fried and drowning in ketchup".

She laughed and in crossing her legs under the table, one foot pushed between Puck's.

He held his legs together to keep it there.

"When I was younger my dads used to bring me out to New York when one of them had some business conferency- thing. We would stay in a hotel. I was too young to leave on my own at home, but I loved it because they would always let me choose a musical to go and see on the night before we came home again."

He saw the waitress was about to approach them, so he discretely held up his hand to indicate she waited a few minutes.

"I would spend hours reading over the theatre programmes to chose",

She smiled sadly at the memory.

Because back them, everything was so simple. Decisions were made without repercussions.

"Usually, my dads would be too busy to realise, but when they were holed away in the conference room, I would slip out and explore the city… "

He frowned thoughtfully at the image of a young girl wandering around alone in the city, but he was aware how assertive she could be, even when she didn't feel so inside.

"And I came here one day, and I just loved the atmosphere… I try to keep coming back, because it's like there's this simple separate joy that's entrapped in this diner- I know it sounds stupid".

"It doesn't sound stupid", Puck said quietly.

"Well if it isn't our little miss Rachel Berry!"

"Uncle Fred!"

Puck smiled at the exchange, because her ambitions may have forced her to mature quickly on the outside, there was still the little girl that sat on the counter and got passed curly fries through the hatch.

'Uncle Fred' pushed his notepad back into his apron and pulled a chair over.

"So who's the special guy?"

Puck pretended to be deeply engrossed in the menu so that he didn't have to meet the old guy's crinkly grin.

"Oh! Sorry, this is Noah Puckerman… we go to NYU together".

"I knew you'd make it kid", the guy said affectionately, with a Southern drawl. "But, how about this! You've been in here hundreds of times and not once with anyone else".

"We _both _needed a bit of the Elvis and some of that 'speciality' ketchup that you buy from the back of a truck in vats of 100 gallons", Rachel replied.

Fred laughed wheezily.

"Don't go anywhere", he said suddenly, directed at Puck this time. "I'll be back in a minute… hey Sinead- come take these guys orders will you!"

"You go first", Puck said gruffly, nodding his head to Rachel.

She smirked. "Such a gentleman Noah".

He stopped himself from adding 'only for you' and buried his head in the menu again.

"I'll have Uncle Fred's Friday Breakfast Feast please", she reeled off. "With curly fries instead of egg and sausages… And lemonade please".

"I'll have the same- but curly fries only replacing the egg, and coke instead of lemonade- thanks".

"No problem".

"I hope you don't mind me saying babe, but I reckon you should try to make more time to do stuff that makes you happy, as well as working towards your goals and shit".

She said nothing, so he clarified slightly.

"Like take time to come eat crap every now and then, or play Halo, or just… you know, think of yourself in the present, not just in the future".

"I don't mind _you _saying", she murmured.

"I knew exactly where they were!" Fred came back over to their table, waving a handful of photographs in the air, his face stretched in a triumphant grin.

Puck raised his eyebrows in question and Rachel shrugged.

"You knew exactly where what were?"

He sat down, grinning at both of them.

"Remember that day you said you sometimes wished you were like other kids?" He asked Rachel, and she nodded briefly. "With their normal crazy families and their normal crazy lives?"

She nodded again, even more briefly, with a closed smile.

Puck slipped his hand across the table and laid gently on top of her small one and it was the most natural thing in the world.

The corners of her mouth twitched into an easy smile.

"Remember how you said that because of all those photos on the back wall by the jukebox? And we got out Des' camera and took loads of photos because it was quiet and we wanted to cheer you up?"

He put the pile of photos on the table between Puck and Rachel.

"I found them the other day, and I told myself I would show you next time I saw you- and next thing I know you're here! So I'm showing you the photos, just like I told myself I would".

"I remember", Rachel said softly, and she entwined her fingers with Noah's, because maybe he was right about making time to enjoy herself.

She didn't have to try and recapture those times when she had felt carefree and gleeful, she could make new memories.

"I like this one", Noah was saying, holding up one photo.

It was the only photo when she wasn't posing with a member of the kitchen staff of 'Uncle Fred's Diner'.

She was sitting on top of the jukebox, someone had obviously lifted her up there, and she was smiling as though she was sitting on top of the world, not looking directly at the camera, but just off to the side, as though looking for something (or someone?) that wasn't there but one day would be.

Fred laughed.

"I'll leave you guys to eat", he said, gathering up the photos again with a wary eye on the greasy meal presented to them. "Remember to bring tickets to us lot here when you get your first gig".

"Of course I will".

Neither of them moved their hands.

"This is just what I needed", Noah said, his eyes widening in awe at the massive plateful set in front of him.

"Me too", Rachel agreed.

They ate, and chatted, about nothing to do with anything, about 'Bugsy Malone' and curly fries and coke vs lemonade.

* * *

On their way out, Fred beckoned Noah over, and Rachel waited for him, leaning up against the jukebox.

"Here kid- you should take this. For her- for you- for both of you- whatever".

There was a twinkle in his eye when he said this, as though he knew something Puck didn't.

"Get it framed or get some computer whizz to do something special with it and make it big so's you can put it on the wall".

"Thanks".

"Hurt her and I'll punch that mohawk off your head", Fred said sternly as he turned to leave, tucking the photo into his wallet next to the one of Beth.

"I used to be a boxer you know".

Puck didn't know that.

But he did know he wasn't going to hurt her.

* * *

Please review :)


	24. Chapter 24

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee, and I don't own any of the songs mentioned.

AN: Thank you for the reviews and subscriptions :)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 24**

"Rachel- stop whatever you are doing and come meet me outside the canteen".

Rachel laughed, instantly folding the page of her 'History of Dance' textbook and slipping her feet into her pumps.

"Do you want some coffee or something while I'm here?"

"That'll be lovely! Thanks!"

"S'alright… whaddya want?"

"Erm…I don't know- surprise me!"

* * *

She walked with a spring in her step, smiling to herself as she passed the trash can with her old schedule ripped up in there, and grinning wider at the new one pinned to her noticeboard, with Noah's own additions of 'Fun time' and 'Rachel and Noah time' decorated with smiley faces.

He had a cardboard cup in each hand when she approached him, so she redirected her desire to run into his arms and squeeze him in a hug to brush her lips to his jawline.

"Hey baby", he murmured.

He seemed to forget for a few moments what it was he had summoned her for.

"Noah?"

"Yuh? Er… right… Here".

"Wow… I've never seen this on the menu before!"

She inspected the cup he had hastily passed her with interest.

It smelled like chocolate, and was topped with a swirl of squirty cream, and chocolate sprinkles and tiny little smarties.

"Yeah… well it's not on the menu… I just thought you'd like it, or whatever…"

She beamed at him.

"It looks amazing… here- you have the first sip".

He stilled, because he didn't want to have all of the squirty cream off the top, otherwise she would have nothing to lick off her top lip.

He took a modest slurp, and handed it back to her.

She took it, struggling to suppress a giggle.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing", she lied, smiling sweetly.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"_Raaach_".

She just smirked, and he used his free hand to tickle her side, laughing loudly at her girlish shrieking.

"Noah! Hey! I'm really ticklish right there! Aaaargh!"

He switched sides, and she twisted easily the other way.

_Damn _she was flexible.

"Raaaach".

"Okay, okay- you've got whipped cream – here- and here", she informed him, gesturing to either side of his mouth.

He pouted.

"Give me your finger", she ordered primly.

"Huh?"

"Your finger".

He held his hand out, and she carefully folded his fingers so that his forefinger was pointing out of his fist.

"Now lick it".

"You lick it", he returned grumpily.

She bit her lip.

"You lick it", he repeated, more gruffly.

"Is that a dare?" she asked.

"Do you want it to be a dare?"

In lieu of a response, she gripped his wrist more firmly and pulled his finger towards her mouth, her lips closing around his fingertip for mere milliseconds, before she was steering his finger to wipe the corners of his mouth.

His breathe escaped in a shaky gust.

"So", she said, with breezy brightness, "You wanted to show me something?"

"Oh yeah! Look at this!"

He pointed his cup at the notice board beside them.

"Some audition I reckon has your name on it".

"Really?"

"Yeah- right- 'Looking for the next Broadway star'"

"It _doesn't _say that!"

"_Does_".

"_Doesn't_".

"Does too! Read it!"

"Oh yeah! It does!"

She was silent, reading it, and Puck was standing beside her smirking, because if he had anything to do with it (and he would) she was going to blow their fucking socks off.

"So?"

"I…"

He outstretched his arms and she circled his arms around his middle, and his heart skipped a beat because either she just kissed his chest or her nose was wet and was very good at resembling the softness of her lips.

"I don't know what to sing", she stuttered.

He chuckled.

"Sing 'twinkle little star' and they'll want you", he said.

She pushed his chest playfully.

"Alright… What's your favourite song, or 'show tune' or whatever".

"Well, 'Defying Gravity', shows impressive range… 'Rain on My Parade' is a crowd pleaser…"

"No… no- what's your _favourite _song- one _you_ really like".

"Well… If I had to choose, but it's not a show-tune, do you thing that's alright?"

"I think that's better", he said, "'Cos it's original or something like that".

"Mr Brightside".

"Mr Brightside?"

"By the Killers?"

"Yeah I know it- good song".

She nodded.

"So sing that", he suggested.

"But it's just a… it's pretty easy to sing, really".

"Then don't just sing it", he said, earnestly, because her eyes were shining with possibilties and he was just probing them out of her. "Have backing vocals and instruments and dancing".

Rachel looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"We should", she whispered, slightly breathlessly, as her mind raced through the ideas.

"We?"

"Well- it was your idea".

"Nah".

She grinned and a pleasant warmth washed over him.

"Alright then- _we_ are going to go gather the troops and figure out how this shit is going to work".

She took his proffered hand and they walked together down the corridor in search of dancers, backing vocals and musicians.

* * *

"Okay- listen up! I'm calling this meeting to order!"

She shared an excited grin with Noah, who was sitting to her right, grinning right back at her and looking so proud she felt her heart swell in her chest.

"So- I'll start with what I have in mind… I want to start off A Cappella solo, then have a gradual build up of sound as other singers join in- and for those singers I was thinking: Noah, Tina, Kurt, Mercedes, Santana, Finn?.. And Artie, Tina tells me you are secretly very talented, Mike and Matt- you haven't mentioned you can sing but if it's possible to add your voices in the background, it will be more impressive the more singers we have…"

Puck admittedly zoned out a little bit.

It was okay, he already knew the plan off by heart.

He looked round at the ecclectic group of people they had gathered together.

One time, a _long _time ago, he would have been the one to make most of these guys' high school lives a misery.

But it had been him who had suggested they make a batch of cookies, he assured her it wasn't to bribe them, it would just be a conversation starter, so's it wasn't too abrupt just walking up to their acquaintances and demanding a huge favour from them.

He was the one who had written the list of possible talents to include.

He was the one who said all the 'helpers' should wear black, and she should wear some bright colour to stand out and have a spotlight on her and everything (these were his exact words).

Not that they would look at anyone else when she opened her mouth and started singing.

And he wanted so much to see the smile on her face when she was up on stage and performing as she was born to perform.

* * *

Please review :)


	25. Chapter 25

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: It's taken them a while, but they are getting there, you'll be pleased to know :)

Thanks for reading, subscribing, and taking the time to review- it means a lot to me!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 25**

It was the dress rehearsal.

He was annoyed, because they had been so busy, fitting in planning and studying, his training, including extra gym sessions, and now rehearsals with the whole group.

There was never quite the right moment to bring up all those feelings that were bubbling under the surface.

Those feelings that threatened to boil over when she smiled up at him, threatened to make him do something stupid and ruin the best relationship with _anyone _he had _ever _had.

And only yesterday he had been sitting on the bleachers with Mike and Matt, chatting about football and weight lifting and general male bonding, the realisation of this strange connection they shared was highlighted again (for what felt like the umpteenth time).

Matt had pointed (totally un-subtly, Puck had told him) at a group of cheerleaders jogging onto the field for practise.

Even Mike, who was usually quite subdued and quiet when it came to girls, was giving an animated commentary on these.

Puck couldn't look straight at one of them without being distracted by an image of Rachel.

Her cascading soft chocolate hair, her big melty brown eyes, her smooth tan mile-long legs, her perfectly proportioned small form, her laughter and the rush of warmth he felt when _he _made her laugh, when it was him that put _that smile_ on her face.

And he tried to look back at the cheerleaders, but they were empty.

And that sounded stupid, because they were real enough, talking and stretching and whatever… But they didn't feel real. He didn't feel anything when he looked at them.

He didn't have an overwhelming urge to pick _them _up and shower them in kisses and hug them tight to his chest and never let go.

* * *

"Puck? _Puckerman?_"

He shook himself, and straightened his black tie and took a deep breath.

Mike nudged him again, just for good measure.

"Oy!"

"It should be you doing that part", Mike whispered.

Puck followed the direction of his gaze, to where Artie was running through his entering harmony, as he added his voice to Rachel's after her mind-numbingly fantastic starting solo.

"Artie's great", he whispered back.

"Yes", Mike agreed, "but the audience will be wanting to see more chemistry between the two lead singers".

"I'm not good enough", Puck argued.

"Have you asked Rachel what she wants? It is her audition piece anyway. Besides, Artie was disappointed he didn't get more of a role in the production, he wanted to do some kick-ass harmony in the main group and show off his other talents in front of all the high-ups watching".

"Really?"

"Are you ready guys?" Kurt hissed.

Puck switched his frown between Kurt and Rachel and Artie and back to Mike.

He jumped up and walked forward onto the stage.

"Are you alright Noah?"

He crossed his arms across his chest because if he hugged her and didn't let her go right now they wouldn't be able to finish the rehearsal and they had to make the most of the time they had the auditorium for.

"Babe, you know when you asked me if I had any preference as to who should sing the main male part?"

"Yeah… I was kinda hoping you would say you, no offense Artie".

"None taken… can't we just swap?"

"You really don't mind?"

"Who- me or Artie- because, babe, I wanna be up there on the stage with you and…"

He drifted off, because Artie was shifting narrowed eyes between him and Rachel, and Puck could see him jumping to conclusions already.

All their new... friends (yes friends), had seemed to make the same conclusions.

Maybe that was some sort of sign?

"Come try it", Artie suggested. "You can't know if it will be right or not until you've tried it".

Puck knew it would be right.

He knew it.

Rachel slipped her hand into his large one.

"Please will you?" She asked sweetly.

Like he was going to not doing anything she asked him to.

Or whatever.

"For you babe", he said gruffly.

Rachel glanced over her shoulder, calling to Mike.

"Mike, do you think you can show the others the choreography we talked about earlier?"

She wanted a certain amount of privacy.

She wanted to be alone with Noah.

She wanted to grab hold of that mohawk and pull his mouth to hers…

It had taken her much too long to complete the week's work when all she could think about was how much she missed being with Noah 24/7.

How much she wanted just to run out onto the field and wait for him to finish his training, and sweaty and…

"Are _you_ alright babe?" he asked softly. "You've been working too hard… we've hardly had any Rach and Noah time".

"How about tonight?" she suggested. "My room? We could just… hang out?"

"That sounds great", he said scratchily, and her eyes flicked to his lips there was no denying they did.

"Kurt- can you just give me the opening triad- I can't seem to pitch it in my head".

It was the way he was looking at her.

It made her skin tingle.

* * *

Finn approached her at the end of rehearsal, and Rachel spotted Noah waiting out of the corner of her eye.

She saw Santana joined him and the shared knowledgeable look between them that sent a strange thrill of excitement down her spine.

Finn didn't say anything, just stood there, staring at the floor.

"What happened to you Finn?"

He scuffed his shoe.

"I dunno Rach, I guess I just wasn't sure what I wanted".

"Thank you for helping out with this anyway", she said resignedly, because he had hurt her, but she didn't hurt anymore.

"Yeah. It's okay… I still like singing and stuff".

"I think we were both a bit short sighted", Rachel said after a long pause.

Finn nodded.

"I don't think there's any more reason for us to dwell in the past though- right?"

"Are you trying to tell me there's actually something going on between you and Puck? Santana said something about cutting through the sexual tension with a knife, and I'm not sure what that means but you guys spend _so much_ time together, and…"

Rachel held her hand up.

"If this is about us Finn, then you should step back and think about that. There is no 'us' Finn. Just because you had control over me for most of high school doesn't mean you can still influence my decisions".

She paused for effect.

"And stop taking out your anger on Noah. He is a better man than you will ever be, and I mean that in the nicest way possible".

Finn screwed up his face in confusion. "In the nicest way possible?"

"I need him", Rachel said. "I need him in my life in a way that I never needed you".

"You _need _him?"

Rachel gave an exasperated sigh.

"Look Finn, I'm not going to let you waste my valuable time I could be spending with Noah. Let's just agree that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything".

Finn nodded, solemnly.

They walked over to where Santana and Noah were standing, an awkward space between them.

Santana gestured to him, and stopped abruptly when Rachel turned questioningly to her.

Noah slung an arm over her shoulders and took a deep breath of her.

"I don't tell you enough how much I like you Rach", he said gruffly.

An award winning smile was his much coveted reward.

* * *

Please review :)


	26. Chapter 26

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: I am happy to tell you (lovely, amazing, brilliant) readers, that in this chapter or next, you will be certain as to where Noah and Rachel stand ;)

Thanks for the reviews!

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 26**

"You have some post babe".

Rachel took the envelope, expecting to recognise the written address as it being from her fathers, then frowning when she saw the handwriting.

She opened it quickly and sat down abruptly on the edge of the bed as she scanned down to read its sender.

"It's from Shelby".

He didn't know what to say to that, so instead he sat down next to her on the bed, close enough so that his leg was reassuringly pressed against hers, but not so close that he could read the letter over her shoulder.

_Dear Rachel,_

_I'm sorry I have never attempted to contact you, my only biological daughter. There were several occasions in my life where I had the opportunity to speak to you, to get to know you, to even tell you that I was your mother; but I didn't._

_I don't know whether to regret that or not, and I know that sounds like an emotional dodge, but I do want you to know that of course, I am always proud to call you my daughter._

_Always._

_Your someone sounds very special. You should keep hold of people that are special to you, learn from my mistakes._

_Please thank him for the note for Beth, it is lovely to know that he is out there, caring for her, even if it is indirectly._

_Shelby._

Rachel was silent after reading the letter, and Puck had to bite his tongue to stop his curiosity getting the better of him.

"She thanks you for the note to Beth", she said quietly, after a while, scanning the letter one last time and folding it back into the envelope.

He shrugged.

"She said she's proud of me"

"Course she is", he retorted.

She shifted, and her hands reached around his middle.

He hoped she didn't nestle her ear closer to his heart because she might think he was having a heart attack or something.

"There would be something seriously wrong with her if she wasn't at least proud of you".

"At least?"

Puck leaned back against the wall, pulling Rachel more comfortably against him.

"Yeah", he said gruffly.

"We're really close", Rachel commented softly.

"Yeah?"

He sensed there was something more behind this statement.

"Yeah. You always know… you always… you seem to just _know_".

"Just know? Do I?"

She nodded firmly.

There was a silence.

A comfortable silence, and he didn't even realise he was drawing random shapes on her skinny-jean clad thigh. And she didn't realise her thumb was rubbing across a hard curve of muscle on his back.

"How close is really close?" Rachel asked timidly.

Puck swallowed unsteadily.

"Er…"

He took a deep breath, and after a while she tore her attention from his hand creeping closer and closer to hers on her lap to look up through her eyelashes at him.

She gasped because his face was suddenly so close to hers, and a soft smile graced his lips.

She was suddenly overwhelmed by his familiar comforting and masculine scent, and she was fighting a blush from creeping up from her neck, because of how she remembered smiling every time she recognised this scent on anything of hers.

"Really, really close", he murmured.

She let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding as he pulled away again, and there was something different in his expression when she managed to bring herself to look at him again, trying to keep the desire from over ruling her emotions.

She wasn't supposed to want him. He wasn't supposed to fit into her life plan, she had never planned for this.

But somehow she did, and he did, and she had a feeling when it came to her and Noah, everything was new- for both of them.

"Are you looking forward to performing?" she asked.

"Yeah", he said simply. "But I'm more looking forward to seeing your gorgeous face light up all bright after the show…"

He stopped, because he wasn't supposed to be coming on to her.

But really, what was the difference between what he was supposed to do, and what he wanted to do? Surely there should be no difference? Like, he _wanted _to do all these things he was doing, and the fact that most of them he felt he should have been doing all along was just an added extra.

So he wanted to be coming on to her?

But really, that wasn't what he wanted to know, he wanted to know if _she _wanted him to be coming on to her.

And she was all warm and cuddled up to him and this was really… _nice_.

He wasn't thinking about whether or not it was leading to a wanted outcome for him in this situation.

He ultimately wanted _her_ to feel all warm inside- like he did when she smiled _that smile_ at him.

She was quiet, thoughtful… worried that if she so much as opened her mouth he would hear how hard and fast her heart was beating.

"Do you know what she also said?"

Puck shook his head meeting her gaze as she lifted her head from his chest.

"She also said I should never let you go", she whispered softly, pressing her lips to his forehead.

He gulped and closed his eyes to savour the sensation of his burning skin to her touch.

He'd told her before and he didn't think it needed saying again, not when as she said this he was physically closer to her than he had been before, but he wasn't going anywhere.

Not without her.

He didn't really know how to tell her this, so instead he leaned towards her, watching her eyes all the time for any apprehension.

He saw only encouragement, and their lips met in the middle in a soft brush of a kiss, pent up emotions struggling to be kept under control as the contact sent immediate fire through his body.

"Thank you", she mumbled.

She was thanking him for so many different things she couldn't even begin to list them.

"You're always welcome", he replied gruffly, and buried his face in her neck as she hugged him fiercely.

* * *

Please review :)


	27. Chapter 27

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thanks for the reviews, it really means a lot to me that people take the time to read, subscribe to and comment on this story :)

Bree

* * *

"So who you taking to the masked ball thing Matt?" Mike asked, sending a sideways glance at Puck and sharing a secretive smile with Matt. "Have you decided yet?"

"Oh… uh- haven't really thought about it yet… It's just for fun though yeah? Maybe I'll ask Rachel or something".

"_What_?"

Matt almost flinched at the fierceness of his tone and as Puck tensed beside him.

He relaxed hastily.

"I mean- what's this shit about? What's a masked ball?"

Mike smirked.

"It's a football team thing… it's just for fun… we dress up in suits and stuff, girls in dresses, and everyone wears a mask… it's just for fun".

"Just for fun? Well, then I guess _I'll_ ask Rach then…" Puck said airily, glaring darkly at Matt.

"You probably should ask her first", Matt said innocently, "Seeing as you guys are like…"

He drifted off, unsure of the correct term to use to finish this sentence.

"You should probably ask her soon though", Mike suggested, "'Cos this thing is in, like, 2 days, and also, if that guy Fergal has already asked Brittany, then I was going to ask Rachel".

Puck's eyes widened, and he scrambled for his cell phone.

"Heya Noah!"

"Hey babe… wotcha doin'?"

"I'm just practising some of the warm up stretches for dance class tomorrow… it's my turn to lead the warm up and I want to be ready".

_Oh good lord. S_tretches?

He coughed.

"Oh right… in a leotard and stuff?".

There was a pause, and Puck could practically hear her chewing on her bottom lip.

"I'm wearing black leggings", she said, slightly cautiously, "and a long wine-red tank top… it's skin tight".

Mike chortled with laughter at Puck's pained expression, and ducked a mis-aimed fist.

"What about you?" Rachel asked, switching her tone back to normal.

"Oh… er… I'm wearing trackie bottoms and a hoody…"

She laughed flirtishly. "I meant what are you up to?"

Puck shoved Matt hard as he let out a snort of laughter.

"Oh… er… sorry… er… I'm just sitting out on the bleachers with Mike and Matt… just chillin' or whatever".

"Oh! Say hi to them for me".

"Yeah alright, 'kay, see you later babe".

"What the fuck is so funny?" He demanded, when Mike and Matt burst into fits of laughter as he hung up.

"You didn't even ask her", Mike said, attempting in vain to supress his amusement.

Puck huffed.

"I can't just ask her on the phone… that's so… I dunno, _impersonal_".

He glared at them menacingly as they continued to hoot with laughter. "Shut up! This is _Rachel_".

Mike just shrugged, and Puck was left with a growing certainty that these guys just wouldn't understand.

This was… well, this was _Rachel_…

He gave them both another good steely glare before dialling number 2 on his speed dial.

(Number 1 was already fixed as his voicemail, if he could find a way to change it…)

"Hey babe, s'me again… me and the guys were just gunna head over to Mike's room to eat doritos- dya wanna join me- I mean _us_?"

"I would love to", Rachel replied quickly, carefully hiding her disappointment that it was 'us' rather than just her and Noah.

She took a breath.

"I'll be over in 5 to 10 minutes".

"Awesome…"

He hung up quickly because, yes, he had been about to say 'I can't wait to see you'.

_Shit._

* * *

He sat, cross legged on Mike's floor, half listening to them argue about who was fitter, Megan Fox or Jessica Alba, but mostly thinking about the things he would do with Rachel as his girlfriend.

And no, that word no longer made his palms sweaty and his brain freeze.

Well, it didn't in terms of Rachel...

It wasn't even dirty stuff he was thinking of (though _fuck yes_ he wouldn't complain about getting the opportunity to hear her scream his name with that spine-tingling vocal range of hers…)

He wanted to creep up behind her in the corridor and kiss the back of her neck.

He wanted to tell her she was beautiful _every day_.

He wanted to buy her flowers, paint her nails, brush her hair, buy her stuff…

He just wanted to be good enough for her.

He didn't want to ask her to the masked ball 'just for fun'.

There was a knock at the door, and he scrambled to his feet and tripped over Mike's chair in his rush to answer it.

"I'll get it", he said calmly, ignoring the raised eyebrows of his friends. "I'm closest".

"Hey Noah".

Her greeting was almost shy and he pulled her into a warm hug.

"I've got you something", she said.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was walking past the vending machine, and I remembered you saying how much you liked chocolate M&Ms… and they usually only have peanut ones, but it was just being topped up and I asked the guy if he had any chocolate ones, he had some in his van".

She pressed the bag into his hands.

"You made him go look in his van?" Puck asked, a smile stretching across his face.

"I asked nicely", Rachel returned, and he hugged her quickly again with a muffled thanks into her hair, before gesturing for her to enter Mike's room, because they'd been out in the corridor for a while and he didn't want to start any rumours.

"Hey Rach", Mike said.

"Good afternoon Mike, Matt".

Matt just grinned.

"We're just going to get some more doritos form Matt's room", Mike said casually.

Puck narrowed his eyes.

"It's a two person job", Matt added, with an innocent grin.

They left quickly.

"Do you think they're hiding something?" Rachel asked interestedly, "I thought they were both straight?"

Puck made some non-committal noise.

"So Rach… you doing anything Friday?"

Her eyes darted to his.

Then the light of hope faded. "Are you cancelling our Noah and Rachel time?" she asked sadly.

"No! God no! erm…"

He shuffled round so that he was facing her.

"There's this ball and stuff and I was just wondrin' if you wanted to go with me…"

He set his jaw in determination. "Like as a date".

"As a date", she returned, slightly breathlessly.

"If that's okay…"

Rachel twisted her ankles together to stop her throwing herself into his lap in her excitement.

She took his hand.

"Noah, there's no-one else I would rather go with", she said sincerely.

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, "'Cos I'm not even close to perfect".

She bit her lip.

"Maybe I'm not looking for perfect", she murmured quietly.

He slowly raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a loving kiss to its back.

She closed her eyes to savour the feeling of his lips against her skin, which seemed so hypersensitive to his touch.

* * *

It was only when he was lying in bed that night, trying to think his way through the whole of the Saw movies (it was distracting him from the dancing images of a certain smiling, beautiful, pint-sized brunette) when he realised something.

He was 21, and he'd never kissed a girl's hand before.

* * *

Please review :)


	28. Chapter 28

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Short and sweet chapter, working through a bit of a writer's block, think I caught it from Ruby (!) Don't worry though, lovely amazing readers, I do know where this story is going- and thanks for sticking with me, and virtual cookies to my reviewers :)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Rachel couldn't stop smiling.

She stood in front of the mirror, and she wasn't really looking at herself at all.

She was looking at Tina, who was sitting on the floor of her room, reloading the contents of a huge make up bag, which she had assured Rachel she was welcome to use whatever she liked from it.

She was looking at Mercedes, who was standing behind her, straightners in one hand, curlers in the other, having demonstrated some enviable multi-tasking skills.

And Kurt was sprawled out across the bed, surrounded by various pairs of fabric scissors, with his trusty sewing machine beside him, as he had been busy making a few adjustments to Rachel's dress.

She was looking at her _friends_.

"Rachel Berry, I hate to use such a vulgar expression, but I do think that Mr Puckerman will jizz his pants when he sees you". Kurt commented.

Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"You really think?" She asked shyly.

The three of them laughed loudly in chorus.

"Gosh!" Kurt gasped, in mock horror, "anyone would think that was perhaps your plan!"

Rachel laughed nervously, smoothing down the sides of the dress.

"Well… maybe just a kiss?"

"He hasn't kissed you yet?" Tina asked incredulously.

"Well… yeah… but not _kissed _kissed me… I mean, I'm not even sure if he wants me as his _girlfriend_, I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend before, and I don't want to rush into anything because I care about him too much".

There was a short pause, and Rachel's mind drifted to its most frequented study of late.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you?" Mercedes questioned directly. "Have you _seen_ him with you?"

Rachel bit her lip.

"Like what?" she said quietly, instantly imagining his gorgeous eyes boring into hers flashing with green and probing her soul.

Imagining the way he would sometimes flick his eyes hungrily to her lips, the way she often caught him with his head slightly tipped to the side, studying her every inch as though she was some priceless artwork.

She wondered had he noticed her in return?

Had he noticed that she couldn't stop mentally undressing him since he'd answered the door half naked when she'd been slightly inebriated.

(Some parts of that night were hazy, but she could close her eyes and remember every hard curve of his chest without even trying).

And this may seem as though she was just attracted to him in a physical sense, which of course wasn't the only reason she constantly thought of him.

As often as thoughts about his lips pressing everywhere on her skin were thoughts of his sweet words and genuine caring for her keeping her awake at night.

But even the fact that she was so greatly eager for such intimate interaction was a giant leap forward for her.

She had always been slightly awkward and reluctant for physical affection, something which she had clean forgotten the moment she felt the hot thrill of electricity at Noah's gentle touch.

It all just melted away into a delicious warm humming sensation of her deep instincts taking over, something that she had only experienced a tiny fraction of when singing on the stage to a shiny-eyed audience.

"Like he loves you", Mercedes answered quietly, and Kurt and Tina were nodding wisely as though this was completely obvious.

Her hands flew forward to brace herself on the desk as the realisation hit her like a freight train.

"Are you alright?" Tina asked, concerned.

Rachel smiled round at her friends.

Damn right she had genuine friends.

And she stood up taller as the girl who had finally realised that she wasn't a 'prude' or 'frigid'.

No, she was just waiting for the right person.

And maybe, just maybe she had found him.

"I'm ready", she said firmly, and a rush of heat and the unmistakable buzz of excitement filled her as her mind went completely blank except one perfectly imperfect man… _Noah_.

* * *

"Text Tina", Puck ordered, thrusting his phone at Mike.

Mike raised his eyebrow at Matt and grinned sideways at him.

"Alright! Chill man! I jus' don't see why it matters so much whether or not you wear a tie that's the same colour as her dress!"

Puck snorted. "Course it matters! I gotta match her or whatever… I gotta look like we're supposed to be a couple of whatever… it's some kind of _law_".

"Seriously dude", Matt said quietly, almost as though he was afraid to say so, "You don't need to be matching colours for people to see how you guys are meant to be together".

Puck looked at him carefully, assessing his seriousness.

"You could have told me that earlier", he said gruffly, "Been wantin' to kiss her like crazy but haven't 'case I do something wrong".

"You haven't kissed her!" Mike exclaimed. "Some sex stud you are!"

Puck glared at him.

"Not properly", he said, narrowing his eyes at both of them.

"It's green", Mike announced, waving the phone in the air.

Puck's eyes widened at the coincidence, and he dropped the blue tie he was holding in his other hand, keeping the green one he was holding to his chest.

"So you going to date her and stuff?" Mike probed.

Puck looked murderous for a moment but changed his mind after a few seconds.

He was wearing a tux, he was wearing frickin' _cufflinks_, and he had bought roses which were lying waiting on his desk.

He took a deep breath.

"Gunna frickin' marry the woman one day if she'll let me", he rushed out, straightening his lapels for the hundredth time, "so I guess I wanna go on a few dates first".

Mike opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't say anything", Puck interrupted. "I don't care what I have to do… I'm going to be the only guy in the world who will ever be good enough for her. Fucking white rose twisted with a red one or whatever- I looked it up… _Fuck_".

Mike held his arms open with a shrug and Puck pulled Matt over as well for a quick manly group hug.

Puck grinned suddenly.

"Dunno why I'm standing here with you losers when there's a cab outside waiting and she's probably down there looking _jizz worthy_. She could wear a frickin' _sack_ and I get all…"

"Just go already man", Mike said, shifting uncomfortably.

"You gotta tell her all this soppy shit not us".

He nodded fervently.

"I know".

* * *

Please review :)


	29. Chapter 29

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee. I do not own 'Your Song' by Elton John either.

AN: Thank you lovely readers, because you make writing this story, with all my ups and downs in the process, totally worthwhile :)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 29**

The stems of the roses were sweaty, clutched in his palm.

He rolled his head round on his neck, took a steeling breath and pushed the door to step outside.

Why was he so nervous?

He had never been nervous around girls before- he was always so confident in his studly powers.

But really he knew it was obvious, he was kidding himself if he was actually genuinely asking the reason why he was nervous.

It was because girls hadn't mattered before.

And Rachel mattered.

And there she was, standing beside the cab in a simple green dress and if she returned just half of the feelings she made him feel for her he would be unimagineably happy.

He hadn't moved for a good few minutes. He was just standing there staring at her, and it would have been unnerving if it weren't for the mistiness of his eyes and the way he was twirling a white and a red rose in his right hand.

She began taking steps towards him, and as she was almost half way across the grass to him, he snapped out of his reverie and started walking too.

Rachel forgot to breathe. Breathing didn't seem important in that moment, the moment that stood for the official beginning of something so important it overshadowed everything else.

If you'd have asked her at the moment to run through her trusty detailed future plan, she wouldn't have been even able to remember the colour of her wedding dress.

It didn't matter.

Noah mattered.

They managed to walk straight into each other with the eagerness of their approach.

"Cripes Rach you look frickin' _delicious_".

She smiled shyly but her question was light and teasing.

"Cripes?"

But it wasn't that word that had caught her attention the most.

He didn't answer, instead pressing the rose into her hand. His other hand tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, moving gently to cup her face, his thumb rubbing along her jawline.

"I kissed you after that party didn't I?" she murmured.

He faltered slightly, before shuffling forward so that his knee knocked her clutch bag, clasped in her hand which was held helplessly at her side.

"Not like this", he said simply.

She took a sharp intake of breath.

"Like…?"

Her question remained unfinished as he leaned against her and tickled her lips with his.

He pulled away only a few inches, to smile at the expression of sudden peace that crossed Rachel's face.

Her free hand flew up to the side of his face, and he captured her lips again, taking her bottom lip between his teeth and sucking gently, before closing his mouth over hers with a tenderness that he only had for her.

She made a sort of muffled high pitched moan in the back of her throat.

His fingers tensed at her hip because that was just the beginning of the beautiful noises he was going to explore with her.

And yes, he would lay awake at night imagining these things, but he would never dream of rushing into anything.

He was unarguably content so long as he was allowed to tell her every day just how beautiful she was.

He mumbled this quickly against her lips, and she responded by curling her hand round the back of his head and pulling him towards her with surprising force.

Encouraged, he opened his mouth, still kissing her with unhurried thoroughness.

She pushed her tongue gently against his and his brain melted.

For the first time in his life he was struggling to keep focus, he was struggling to keep himself under control.

He rested his forehead against hers, breathing in great racking breaths.

"Wow", Rachel whispered hoarsely.

"I've been wanting to do that for _so_ long", he admitted, his voice rough with emotion.

"Me too", she replied.

* * *

He was paused at the drinks table, a crick in his neck from looking round to check that Rachel was alright so often.

It was that time of a party where everyone was still ploughing through the necessary small talk, politely nibbling tiny pieces of French toast and sipping sparkling grape juice, waiting until the upcoming announcement that the dance floor was open and for the band to begin playing.

He was concentrating so avidly on pouring from the jug of cloudy lemonade that he didn't notice Santana sidle up beside him.

"Mr Berry".

"Satan", he frowned. "You know that's not how it works".

She snorted.

"Oh… Matt told me to pass on a message".

"Yeah?"

"He said to watch your back?"

"Matt did?"

Santana shrugged.

"I have no idea what he's on about… But I do know that you better run over to your woman before I get there first and accidentally jump her…"

Puck stumbled, his eyes wide and hurried away.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen! If you would please make your way through to the great hall, the band has started playing".

He had never been so glad to hear the intro to a slow slushy ballad.

His eyes found hers and his feet moved faster to find his way over to her.

"Rach? Can I have this dance… or whatever?"

She smiled and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"I don't want to dance with anyone else", she said quietly.

At that he grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.

She adjusted his simple black face mask and pressed her lips to his cheek.

He was vaguely aware of other dancing couples, but not really, it was all just background noise.

It just faded into nothingness as he filled his senses with Rachel's sweet perfume , the softness of the skin of her shoulder against his shaved chin, the detectable quickening of her breathing simultaneous to his as their bodies pressed together closer than they dared.

One of her hands slipped round the back of his neck, her fingers brushing over the short hair at the back of his mohawk.

He placed the other one on his hip, and mimicked her stance in mirror image, nuzzling his head deeper into the crook of her neck.

_It's a little bit funny  
This feeling inside._

It was only after a few lines that she realised that he was faintly murmuring the song lyrics into her skin.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the faint rumbling of his voice.

_I'm not one of those who can  
Easily hide._

_I don't have much money_  
_But boy if I did_  
_I'd buy a big house where_  
_We both could live._

_So excuse me forgetting_  
_But these things I do._  
_See I've forgotten if_  
_They're green or they're blue._

_Anyway the thing is..._  
_What I really mean..._  
_Yours are the sweetest eyes_  
_I've ever seen._

_And you can tell everybody_  
_This is your song._  
_It maybe quite simple but_  
_Now that it's done_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_That I put down in words_

His lips slowly travelled a path up the side of her neck, now softly kissing in between words, reaching the base of her ear, darting his hot tongue out to briefly flick her earlobe.

And the next words were clear and thick with the emotion of meaning every letter.

_How wonderful life is  
Now you're in the world._

* * *

Please review :)


	30. Chapter 30

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Sorry there was a bit of a delay getting this chapter out- real life is a bit of a nightmare…

Anyway enough of that, on with the chapter (and thanks for reading and reviewing :P)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 30**

"Does anyone have a pen?" Rachel asked, looking round Matt's room at the group of people she could now call her friends.

Santana hadn't brought Finn.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that, if she was relieved or not, but even if he was there, it wasn't going to stop her casting shy smiles to Noah, who was sitting cross legged on the floor smiling right back at her.

"There should be one on the desk", Matt replied.

Pizza and a movie, and everyone was piled into Matt's room, and inevitably, no one was actually going to end up watching most of the movie because they were all chatting and laughing and no one cared that she was wearing a cardigan covered in tiny giraffes.

"Chuck it here Rach- I'll do it", Mercedes called, stretching out a hand.

Rachel found a ridiculous amount of happiness in handing over the control without a second's hesitation.

It may have been something to do with the fact that the other option was going to sit next to Noah, and being sure that he would pull her close against him in a one armed hug.

Puck kissed the top of her head softly, and her just snuggling closer into his body was worth more than any of his nothing relationships of Before.

He reached forward to take a swig out of the carton of orange juice at his feet.

Even that made him smile.

He'd been in charge of getting drinks that morning, and it hadn't even crossed his mind to even check that he had taken id, let alone venture into the alcoholic section of the drinks aisle.

He'd picked up orange juice and pineapple juice, remembering that Rachel had mentioned she liked the latter, and smiling to himself because thinking of his girl just had that affect on him.

That's if he could claim her like that, as 'his girl'.

He wasn't about to ruin things by getting a tattoo of her name across his chest over his heart.

Maybe he should just get a star?

It seemed to symbolise her somehow.

He was distracted from his thoughts by a gentle gust of warm breath against his neck.

"Noah? Can we share a pizza… I don't think I can eat a whole one by myself".

Her question seemed to be timid, as though she was expecting too much.

He grinned at her, because he was willing to share… well _anything_ with her… and…he didn't know how to put his feelings into words.

He stretched out a finger to touch her lips gently, pushing down her bottom lip, her eyelids fluttering as she met his glowing gaze steadily.

"What would you like on it?" He asked.

Rachel was barely aware of the conversation about sandwich fillings going on around them.

She found she couldn't actually concentrate on what the others were saying, her whole concentration was directed at Noah.

His finger tip on her lip sent courses of heat right down the centre of her body, as though his touch had pressed right through her.

In his eyes was still the reflection of them dancing the evening prior, craving further contact with him, craving things she'd never craved quite as fervently before when his deep voice murmured against her sensitive skin.

And somehow he made it seem unimportant that he was an experienced 21 year old and she was just a naïve girl, whose view of the world had drastically changed in a few short weeks, but was still protected by a layer of innocence.

He made it seem unimportant because she was the only one he smiled like that for, as though he was so lucky to have her hanging onto his arm.

He had walked her back to her room, and given her a chaste kiss on the lips goodnight, pushed a stray tendril of hair behind her ear, and told her for the millionth time that she looked beautiful.

He meant it every time.

She had bitten her lip to stop her dragging into her bedroom and pushing him against the door, to stop her attacking him with frenzied kisses until his lips were swollen red.

He awakened some burning instinct deep inside her that had her pulse racing and everything she thought she knew to waver uncertainly.

But she wanted him to be her boyfriend.

And she wanted him to be so much more than her boyfriend.

She wanted him to be an equal, the person she would go to with any of her problems, the person she would call late at night and chat with for hours; the person Noah had already become- her best friend.

And now she was learning, with his help, that these two things could be combined.

So she was going to savour every moment of the birth and build-up of… _something…_ Because it was the build up to something good.

"Do you mind if it's just vegetables?"

This question was slightly more confident, because his hand was now caressing the curve of her neck, his calloused fingers sending shivers with each brush over her soft skin.

His eyes flicked between her chocolate eyes and her full lips.

"I like vegetables", he said gruffly.

For her, he would like brussel sprouts dipped in chocolate.

It would be a date, if he paid for all of the pizza, and he fumbled hastily for his wallet as Mike began counting up the money, arguing with Tina about how much change she needed.

But really, he would have wanted a date to be just the two of them, just the two of them _alone_, without Mike, Mercedes, Tina and Matt there, watching them with tiny smiles as though they were proud of them or something.

He turned as Rachel placed her hand gently on his arm.

"Noah- I'm paying my part", she said decidedly, "Because… well, maybe…"

He cut her off, and kissed her briefly on the forehead because they were going to muddle their way through this together and it wasn't going to be perfect at all but it was going to be _awesome._

And because Rachel could read his mind.

"I'mma gunna take you on a proper date", he said, pride slipping into his voice. "How's next Friday?"

"Friday?" She asked, and it was slightly breathless even though she tried hard to prevent it being so.

He nodded, with anxiety, because maybe she thought that was too soon even though to him it felt like the longest time to wait in the world.

Though he would see her most days between.

She bit her bottom lips and his exhale was a lot deeper than he had been expecting.

"That's an awfully long time away", she said quietly, and then smiling as he grinned at her.

He stepped forward, his hands slipping naturally onto her hips.

The others' chatter faded to background noise again, though he probably wouldn't have noticed if they were all standing silently watching them.

"How about we do something after the rehearsal on Tuesday?" He suggested.

"We could cook dinner… or something?" She said, and it was damn difficult not to drag her back to his room and rip her clothes off when her smile sparkled like that at him.

He was going to rock her world.

"It's a date", he murmured, ghosting his lips to each side of her mouth and finally pressing them lightly over hers in a tender kiss.

"A date", she echoed, and her heart leapt in excitement at the thought of spending time with her new boyfriend.

Time to act on some of these swirling feelings that surrounded them both whenever they were together.

She couldn't wait.

* * *

Please review :)


	31. Chapter 31

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Build up to the big date :)

I reckon I've been looking forward to them actually dating as much as you guys! I just wanted to make sure that I got across the way they have kind of slotted right into each other's lives as though they had been made to do so.

Bree

* * *

Rachel was fidgety all through her day's classes, her audition song and routine stuck on repeat in her mind.

But that wasn't why she couldn't wait for rehearsal.

Monday afternoon had brought her dads on a short visit, an expensive coffee and slice of cake in a tiny boutique café that one of her daddy's friends owned.

She struggled to complete one sentence without mentioning Noah's name at least once.

Maybe her dads were too busy questioning her about every last detail of her course, her teachers, and the excellent facilites boasted by the university, or maybe it was because she missed their shared secret smile because she was too busy thinking about the last time she had sat in a café.

They left with a parting 'it seems like college is making you very happy'.

She added 'Noah' to this statement and agreed vehemently.

She missed him and her biggest smile was thinking of when she could next see him.

She'd never been this… attached to anybody or anything.

_Not even her dreams._

And it didn't even scare her.

* * *

She was on the stage, her eyes half closed, memorising every step of the audition that could lead to everything she'd ever wished for.

She had been early for rehearsal, but so was he, and he stood at the edge of the stage, half hidden by the curtain and watched her with a faint smile playing at his lips.

She looked up.

And Noah was there and she'd never wished for something like him to happen in her life.

She'd never wished to feel these things she felt when she was with him, because she had never known such feelings existed.

The racing heart, the sudden spread of warmth, the overwhelming sense of calm and completion as his lips touched to hers.

Her breath escaped as a sigh and his strong arms squeezed her tightly in a hug, lifting her a few centimetres off the ground in his enthusiasm.

And maybe he wasn't everything she had ever wished for but he was everything else.

And this made what she had wished for seem of trivial importance, because there was no way that would ever have the same triumphancy of accomplishment as she felt when Noah looked at her like she was the only one he saw.

"Are you alright?" He murmured, a rough thumb rubbing over her cheek. "Why are you crying?"

"Hold me", she whispered hoarsely.

He did as she asked, as convincingly as if he always would.

She could sense the questions forming in his head, but he just rested his chin on her shoulder and rubbed his hand comfortingly up and down her back.

"Thanks", she said after a while, and soon they could hear the noises of their friend's entering the auditorium.

"Is it anything I can help with?" He said, and there was an anxiety in his eyes because he was worried he wouldn't be able to help.

He wanted always to be able to help.

He wanted to be the one she always wanted to be a help.

"Is there anything wrong?"

She shook her head vehemently.

"Nothing's wrong".

She smiled through her tears.

"Everything is right".

"Okay", he said, unsurely, and that just made her heart clench tighter.

"You know why?"

Her fingers curled into his bicep.

He shook his head slightly.

"We're going on a date", she replied, and by now the others were surrounding them on the stage, making piles of bags and jackets and talking loudly but she couldn't hear what they were saying.

She could hear the quickening of Noah's breath, she could hear the pulse of hot blood rushing in her ears, she could hear his thick swallowing and see the twinkle in his eye.

"We are", he said firmly.

Then, after a pause.

"We're not just going on a date".

She raised her eyebrow in silent question.

"Huh?"

"Well, you know… this isn't just a one off thing… or whatever, I mean, that is, if you don't mind and stuff…"

She played absentmindedly with the sleeve of his hoody.

"So this is just the first date?"

He kissed her lips with a chaste kiss.

"Just the first", he echoed.

"So did you tell your dads about me?"

She grinned.

"Yup".

"Can I meet them sometime?" He asked, and waited for the answer with baited breath.

The grin spread further across her face.

"Yup".

"Plus I gotta show you off to my ma", he said casually. "And you gotta meet my nanna, and my uncle's dog, and my uncle… and my cousins, and that guy who owns the shop down the road… and my neighbours…"

He trailed off, blushing slightly.

"I just wanna show you off", he offered gruffly.

She tipped forward onto the balls of her feet to kiss him soundly on the lips, melting against him and savouring the sensation of their mouths slanting over each other for as long as possible until it felt as though her lungs would actually burst.

"We should probably get on with the rehearsal", Rachel said, with an obvious reluctance.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see a group running through a few of the more complicated dance steps.

"I suppose I can share you for a bit", Noah said, wrinkling his nose and pressing no less than three kisses to the side of her mouth.

"But as soon as rehearsal finishes you're all mine", he added, with mock sternness.

"I _am_ all yours".

If Tina hadn't fallen over Finn's left feet they would have just stayed smiling at each other at the side of the stage.

* * *

Please review :)


	32. Chapter 32

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: The date part 1. I always like to hear what you guys make of this, so please keep the reviews coming :)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 32**

The group almost disappeared the second the words left her mouth as Rachel casually suggested that that was enough for one day.

And she had bent down to pick up her jacket and when she straightened up her favourite pair of warm arms circled her, and her favourite soft lips pressed once and twice to the curve of the back of her neck.

He noisily inhaled, burying his nose in her hair.

"How does vegetable stir fry sound?" He asked, in an offhand way that Rachel knew meant he had actually spent probably several hours thinking about what to cook.

"It sounds… amazing".

She had wanted to say perfect.

Perfect was what she had thought she would be happy with.

The only thing she thought she would be happy with, and nothing less.

But the reason she was beaming up at her mohawked boyfriend and squeezing his hand as she twisted round to face him, with a smile so bright the stage lights dimmed a little beside it, was because this wasn't perfect.

Her hair was all over the place, she was slightly sweaty and she was nowhere near understanding all the dancing heat inside her when he grinned at her like that.

"I'm so lucky just to be able to…"

He pressed his lips to hers and a contented warmth spread through her body, which lasted much longer than the brief kiss.

He thought he was lucky to be her boyfriend, and she'd never believed in luck or fate or destiny.

She'd never believed in these things because it was always hard work and determination that got her the things she wanted, would get her to the places she wanted to be.

But that part of her had also assumed that was what would get her the leading man in her life that she wanted.

And now maybe it was more difficult to so easily cast the thought of soulmates, of destiny, of luck, aside, because she definitely felt some kind of stronger force had given them both what they needed with each other.

This wasn't perfect.

It was something better.

* * *

He'd filled the fridge with the _entire_ vegetable aisle from the store.

There were baby sweetcorn, and bean sprouts, carrots, broccoli, mange tous, red, orange and green peppers… every vegetable that she could have thought may be included in a stir fry was inside that fridge.

The shelves were bowed under the weight.

"I hope I got enough", he said anxiously, "my nanna said to buy more than I thought I needed 'cos veg goes smaller when you cook it or something…"

Her heart swelled at the thought of him ringing his nan for the recipe, and out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of an envelope covered in scribblings.

She turned round from the fridge, leaning forward and kissed his warm cheek.

The flush spread to his neck and there was no way a couple of months ago she would have called a guy with a mohawk, a nipple ring and arms as bulky as two of hers adorable.

But that was before she met Noah Puckerman.

And she didn't plan on looking back.

He grinned suddenly.

"So… you can decide if you wanna help or not… if you don't you can sit up there and eat grapes…"

He gestured to the sideboard, and sure enough, there was a bag of grapes sitting up on the side.

He'd thought of everything.

Her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Can I do both?"

"Yeah", he paused, "S'good, actually, cos I dunno quite what you're sposed to do with some of these beany things… and stuff…"

He watched her try and lift herself onto the sideboard, and after the third attempt, he was crowding her with his warm body, his hands resting gently on her sides wreaking havoc with her senses.

"I wanna help", he said gruffly.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"You ready?"

Her eyes flicked up to his, almost startled.

But his eyes were glowing amber with the desire to be her handsome prince for his damsel in distress.

Maybe one time Puck, the guy who was so used to being misunderstood that he didn't bother trying to make people understand, and instead chose to live up to the reputation everyone assumed he had when he walked into high school with a mohawk and a smirk; maybe _he_ would have seen the growing certainty in Rachel's wondering eyes as an opportunity to take her precious virginity up against the counter in the common room.

But Rachel's Noah was different.

Now he realised he hadn't morphed into a different person, but he was fine with that.

He wanted to be able to remember the look on Quinn's face when she had signed the adoption papers and handed his daughter away, he wanted to learn from his mistakes so that he wouldn't make them again.

And he remembered what it was like to walk around and people actually flinch if he so much as came within two feet of them.

He remembered what it was like to have the whole cheerleading team practically lining up for him, and he just knew they weren't wearing underwear underneath those ridiculous skirts that did nothing to calm a teenager's raging hormones.

It was… shit.

Empty. Meaningless.

He had stolen more girls innocence than he could remember, and…

"I'm ready Noah".

Her voice didn't waver.

He easily picked her up and placed her on the side, but he knew she wasn't just talking about that.

"We're not going to rush this", he said softly, cupping her face in his hands and stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs.

She nodded, only letting go of her breath when he pressed his lips to her forehead briefly.

Because he was going to wait until he was ready to make love to her, like he knew she deserved.

And he didn't want it to be some terrifying awkward experience for her with a huge build up and no big firework parade like she wanted.

He would buy the hundreds of candles and clean his sheets and get a dimmer switch for the light and make a cd of non-intrusive love songs…

She kissed the thoughtful expression off his lips.

"Thank you", she murmured softly.

He squeezed her thighs.

"I'll start cutting the carrots", he announced, pecking her lips chastely.

"How 'bout you do whatever needs doing to those flat green things".

She laughed, a warm tingling sensation dancing right through to her heart.

* * *

Please review :)


	33. Chapter 33

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: The Date continued (I feel that it needs capitalisation). Thank you for the reviews! Reviews motivate me :P

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 33**

"Are you nervous about the audition next week?"

Rachel popped a grape in her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully, admiring the way Noah casually stirred the contents of the wok with a wooden spatula, and the way he had a dish cloth casually slung over his shoulder.

There was an alien stirring sensation inside her at the almost domestic scene they had created in the kitchen area of the common room.

"I don't think it's really hit me yet", she answered truthfully.

"You shouldn't be nervous", he assured her quickly, "You'll blow them away and break all their legs or whatever you're s'posed to say".

And he wasn't just saying that.

"Would you like a grape?"

She needed him to be physically close to her again, the emotional bond that joined them only increased her desire to have the warmth of his body at her fingertips.

He grinned at her, flipping the sizzling vegetables once and slowly and deliberately clasping his hands behind his back.

"Yes please".

"Can you not use your hands?" She asked, with a smile.

"Nope", he replied, still grinning, his eyes wide and innocent. "Can't use my hands at all… do you think can you help me?"

He took a few steps towards her and she carefully picked a grape, not breaking their eye contact and holding it out between her thumb and forefinger.

"Closer", she ordered gently, so that it was more of a request.

His grin stretched wider that she thought was possible.

He purposefully kept walking until her knees were firmly pressing into his hipbones.

"That close enough?" He asked, sliding his hands to rest of her thighs, heat burning through her leggings to her skin.

She had started to shake her head before he had even finished asking the question.

"Great minds think alike", he quipped.

He smoothed his hands further up her thighs, moving them to grip her hips, and simultaneously pulled her forward on the sideboard as he pushed himself to stand comfortably between her legs.

"Better?" He questioned gruffly.

She hummed vaguely in response her body already beginning to respond to his proximity.

If it felt this good to just sit there pressed against him, completely fully clothed and him not even touching her…

His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

"Do I get my grape now?" He asked cheekily.

The adoration in his eyes, the total lack of protective defence system when he looked at her, had her heart pounding and her throat dry.

"You have to earn it first", she rushed out, and his exhale was stuttered with appreciation of her boldness.

She wanted to be able to put into words how much she was grateful to him for the confidence that bubbled inside her when he was there.

She couldn't.

There were no words that were good enough.

"Earn it?"

"Do you think you can?" she murmured, with a bold teasing lilt in her voice.

He didn't doubt that he could. She made him strong enough without question.

"I hope I can", he replied.

"I know you can", she said confidently, and that was more encouragement than he needed, and he lowered his lips carefully to hers.

He felt like he was relearning everything he thought he knew.

He had once thought of kissing as just a necessary preliminary to sex, something that was required to lure his chosen partner of that moment into a false sense of foundation and emotion.

But kissing Rachel was totally different.

Kissing Rachel was more _erotic_ than most of the sex he had ever had.

The feeling of her plump lips pushing eagerly against his in reciprocation, the soft whining at the back of her throat as their kisses deepened.

He would find himself needing to distract himself from being too caught up in losing himself in her, the mere tightening of her fingertips in his biceps pushing his control.

He pulled away from her lips, their chests heaving in unison, pressing a lazy kiss to the bridge of her nose.

She picked another grape, having dropped the last one in favour of both hands being in contact with Noah's body.

She held it out in front of him, barely a centimetre away from his lips.

His darkened eyes smouldered and he opened his mouth around her fingers, deliberately sucking them as he took the grape in between his teeth.

He'd finished dishing out the food before she had properly composed herself.

* * *

"It looks amazing Noah", she complimented sincerely, and melted at the little proud smile that flickered across his countenance.

"I hope it tastes alright", he mumbled, pulling out her chair for her.

She squeezed his hand on the table.

"I'm sure it will".

"Well, my nana said she usually makes it with chicken, and I was gunna try and get some of those tofu things, but I couldn't find them anywhere… you know- they should really have a whole proper aisle where vegans can buy their food, cos all they had was a few things in the corner, and it's like they're try'nna force people to eat meat… people should be allowed to be what they wanna be- you know? Well, I mean, as long as that's not an axe-murderer or something…"

He twirled the knife beside his plate nervously.

He looked up at her and felt a little guilty at her slight shell-shocked expression at his bout of verbal diarrhoea.

"I've never cooked for anyone before", he muttered, and Rachel felt suddenly priviliged to be audience to the vulnerability he trusted her to see.

He had abandoned the reputation he felt safe to live behind for so long, and everything was as big a learning curve as she was finding this imperfect, unplanned and incredible match in them together.

He smiled shyly.

"I've cooked for my nana, but it's not quite the same… I have to cut her stuff up into little pieces and stuff…"

She learnt new things about him every day, and this just made her want to know more, know _everything_.

"Do you have a big family?" She asked, hmming with appreciation as she took her first mouthful and not missing the beam he suppressed by taking his own mouthful.

"I gotta sister", he began, and shuffled his chair in closer as her ankles hooked around his. "And my ma's got about a million sisters, so there's quite a few kid cousins around".

"I've always wanted a big family", Rachel said, a little wistfully.

"I reckon I do too".

Puck was finding it so easy to picture himself inside that family house with the big windows and the pool in the garden, filled with laughter and happy kids running around.

Before he had always imagined himself as the one walking past this heartwarming scene, stuck on the other side of the white picket fence.

Rachel had opened the gate for him.

"You _have_ a big family?"

She seemed genuinely confused.

"I mean one of my own", he expanded, and in his mind's eye a dark haired girl with a smile like the sun tugged on his hand and called him daddy.

A second chance had never seemed so real.

"I used to never want kids", Rachel said simply, looking him straight in the eye.

That was when kids would have interfered with her life plan; back when her life plan failed to incorporate the unplannable incidences that included meeting someone who slotted into her life so perfectly she couldn't remember what it had been like to not have them there.

Someone she wanted to raise a dark haired little girl with a smile like the sun, who would never be lonely or misunderstood.

She didn't need to say what she implied.

* * *

Please review :)


	34. Chapter 34

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: this chapter kind of jumps back and forth between Puck and Rachel. I hope it's not too confusing, I've tried to separate it clearly.

Also, I'm sorry about the delay, I sprained my wrist and it made typing quite difficult, and I guess I should thank Ruby pretty profusely because what I emailed her was completely littered with atrocious typos :)

Thank you for sticking with me on this one, always great to hear what you think.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 34**

"Where's your Pucker-man then?" Mercedes asked, reaching across to take a handful of chips out of the bag between Rachel's legs, and grinning to herself at her joke.

"He's gone to visit his nana", Rachel replied, "he wanted me to go with him but unfortunately my tutor told me I couldn't miss the modern dance recital tomorrow as it counts towards our final grade for this module".

Mercedes' face lit up.

"He wanted you to go _with him_? To meet his _family_? And you haven't even had _sex_ yet?"

Rachel blushed, unsure whether Mercedes was implying that this was a good thing or not.

"You guys are adorable", she crooned.

Rachel blushed again and squirmed under her friend's happy grin.

Her vote that it was a good thing.

It was just her and Noah; no conformity, no doing what they thought they were expected to do, no ridiculous planning in advance- only what felt good.

"You better tell Kurt when he arrives", she said, her eyes sparkling, "He is gunna want to start designing your wedding dress".

Rachel looked startled, and then thoughtful for a moment, then quickly busied herself with crunching on chips to stop her newly hyperactive imagination running away with her.

* * *

"So Noah", Puck's Aunty Sara approached him with a determined glint in her eyes that had him feeling nervous before she even opened her mouth to talk.

He knew that look.

He'd scorned that look before, and it felt… refreshing, to no longer feel emptily proud at living up to that look.

A smile had crept onto his face.

"Oh- er- his Aunt Sara! Nice- er- nice cous cous thing you made".

She looked momentarily taken aback.

"Thank you… how are you enjoying college?"

She looked equally shocked at his returning million dollar grin.

"Best time of my life", he replied casually, taking pride in watching his ma's younger sister seemingly check that she was talking to the right person.

"Where's Seb at?" he asked suddenly, looking around for his 3 year old cousin.

"I'm not sure…. Why?"

"Just wanted to see if he wanted to chat… or whatever…"

He figured it was time he started getting practise with how to chat or whatever with kids, cos he didn't want to mess up his own kids, so practising on other people's seemed like a good idea.

If he was given a second shot at it, he was going to take the opportunity to show the world that he could be the best dad, and grab at it with both hands.

* * *

"Look at his lickle face!" Rachel cooed, nudging Kurt and pointing over to where a mother sat on a bench close to where they were on the grass, her baby of a few months old bouncing on her lap.

Kurt raised a slim eyebrow at her.

"It's a baby Rachel", he pointed out, obviously.

She nodded in agreement, oblivious to his tone.

"No Rach… it's a _baby_… it craps everywhere and has a non-existant fashion sense", he continued earnestly.

She frowned and was suddenly silent.

He was right, and she was the one was scared of baby sick and hated the thought of a noise of a baby screaming being able to drown out even her strongest note.

So why did all those feelings she had thought were her own 'anti-instincts' to motherhood, seem to be fading away?

In fact, it was quite the opposite, her arms were wondering what it would feel like to hold her own baby, she knew in her head that she wasn't ready yet for that, but now believed that she would be, someday.

And why did the baby in her imagination have a hauntingly familiar haircut, that would be improbable for a chid that young to have?

* * *

Seb was an alright name, he supposed.

Short for Sebastian. Though Sebastian wasn't quite as good, not quite as cute…

"What's your middle name squirt?" he asked suddenly, carefully throwing the tennis ball to his cousin, and warding off the hyperactive Jack Russel with a wave of his foot, as the small dog jumped up, begging to join in the game.

"Kyle", the boy answered, with a grin and a wild throw that tested Puck's ninja reflexes.

"Kyle", he repeated slowly, and smiled to himself.

* * *

He rang her after dinner, walking down the road to the park to sit on the concrete step up from the road and pick idly at the grass as the phone rang.

She waited 2 rings.

1 ring would be too desperate, he'd know she was waiting by her phone for his call.

3 rings was too long for the eagerness to hear his warm calming voice.

"Hey baby".

He spoke as though sighing with relief that she picked up the phone, as though he was maybe missing her as much as she was missing him.

She hadn't thought that was possible until he said just two words.

"Hey yourself".

"How was your day?" They both said it at once, and laughed in harmony.

"You go first", he offered, laying back on the bed in the guest room.

His head hit the pillow and the realisation that this was the first time he had rang up a girl hoping for a long conversation without the first sentence being 'what are you wearing?'

"Worked on my assignment this morning, and ran through some of the modern dance with Mike… had lunch with Mercedes then spent most of the afternoon just chillin' in the park with Mercedes and Kurt".

She purposely left out the part about the sudden interest in babies, but the mere suggestion of a thought of Noah in any considerable proximity of a baby had her insides melting to a warm, useless puddle.

"Awesome… so…"

He drifted off.

"So..?" She prompted.

"Did you miss me?"

It was less cheeky and more anxious, as though he was checking that he wasn't being ridiculous for feeling such a loss without her there for just a day.

"Yes", she replied quietly.

He let out his breath in a rush.

"It's not quite the same", he said, shyly, "But I'm imagining I'm hugging you right now".

"Me too".

"I was telling my kid cousin all about you", he admitted, hearing the familiar crazed laugh from outside the open window, accompanied with a volley of excited barks from the dog.

"Yeah?.. Is it a houseful? Have you got loads of your family there?"

She'd always wondered what it would be like to feel part of a huge family, and every rehearsal, surrounded by her friends and with Noah by her side, she knew she could never go back to that emptiness she had had before.

"It is pretty crazy", he said. "People everywhere".

He paused.

"I wish you were here though", he said, and it was so much easier to be 'such a girl' over the phone, when he knew she couldn't see him blushing right up his neck and face. "It's not quite right without you here".

"Really?" Her question was hushed, because speaking loudly would stop her believing that he had just said that.

"Yeah... Is that alright?"

"Much more than alright", she said quickly, and he vowed at that to put every romantic comedy to shame when he saw her again.

* * *

"Who were you on the phone to Noah?" His nana asked, as he danced down the stairs into the kitchen, knowing that nothing could wipe the stupid grin off his face.

"My girlfriend Rachel", he replied instantly. "She's Jewish. You're gunna love her".

And so was he.

* * *

Please review :)


	35. Chapter 35

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: This starts off with Rachel dreaming, so I've put that in italics. It's maybe a couple of days after the last chapter, and about a week or so to go until the big audition.

Thanks for reading, favouriting, subscribing and reviewing, and thanks to those who have recently started following this fic :)

Bree

* * *

_The elated rush of the audience (where had the audience come from?) standing in a disjointed Mexican wave, and she turned to Noah who was closer to her side in an instant, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight, and her smile was so wide she could almost feel her cheeks aching in protest._

_And the people in the front row, sharing smiles that she didn't dare interpret._

_Suddenly the noise was gone, she was alone in the auditorium with 3 people she didn't know in suits and carrying clipboards and she couldn't hear what they were saying because there was panic rising in her throat at the missing presence of Noah._

_And their smiles were suddenly the only thing she could see, huge displays of teeth and they grew bigger and bigger, and she looked round for Noah in panic but the smiles were in the way, blocking her every exit until she was completely surrounded._

_And she should be happy, the smiles were practically forcing this emotion on her, but she wasn't, and there was a terrifyingly painful emptiness because she was completely alone._

* * *

"You're here!"

Puck held his arms out to her in confusion, holding the door with his foot.

The confusion set deeper into his frown as she didn't move from the doorway, her eyes unsettlingly wide and bright for such a time of night.

"Of course I'm here", he said soothingly, "Are you alright? Is anything wrong?"

He couldn't help but remember other incidents in the middle of the night.

She still just stood there, and it took him a few minutes in his sleep addled state to work out that she was actually still asleep herself, and had somehow managed to sleep walk all the way out of her room, down the corridor and to his room.

Something squeezed inside him at the fact she had subconsciously came to his room, but her words worried him.

Did she not think that he meant it, all those times he had told her he was sticking around? And he would stick around, he was planning on sticking around for as long as she wanted him to. But did she trust him?

Did _he _trust him?

He shook himself, it was the middle of the night, everything seemed worse than it actually was in the middle of the night.

But there was still the problem of an unconscious Rachel standing dazedly in his doorway.

He vaguely remembered advice he had heard about never waking a sleepwalker.

She shivered, and he supposed that wrapping his warm arms around her tiny form wearing just a t shirt wouldn't wake her, _and oh god nothing else…_

Focus. He had to focus. And count to 10. Or 20.

Maybe holding her close wasn't such a good idea.

"Rach, why don't you come in… we'll get your key back tomorrow or something…"

She might not be able to hear him, but he felt more confident by talking out loud to her.

He led her gently over to the bed, sitting her down on the end as he arranged the duvet.

Surprisingly, Finn was actually in his own bed that night, but the guy could manage to sleep through a tornado, and as Puck looked over to check that he hadn't woken up, he gave a huge snore and turned over with a rapidity that made the bed frame shake.

And then Rachel fell off his own bed.

His heart leapt into his mouth, and he froze in panic, unable to do anything but watch as she slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking about her in confusion.

"Noah?"

The way she said his name, frightened, as though he could be the one to stop her from feeling afraid, had a warmth settling at the pit of his stomach.

"I'm here, I'm here", he murmured, snapping out of his daze and scooping her up into a tight hug.

Small hands reached round his back to pull him closer.

He bit his lip and stared hard at Finn hairy ankle sticking out from the end of the duvet.

"Wait- wha..? Am I in your room?"

"I think you must have sleepwalked here", Puck whispered back.

"Oh".

There was a long silence, and her eyes gradually came into focus.

"Can we… can we walk?" She asked timidly.

"Oh right. Yeah. You'll probably need to get a copy key and stuff…"

She lifted her face from his hard chest to look up at him through her eyelashes.

He gulped, feeling his breath catch in his throat and a thousand things he wanted to protect her from, a thousand ways for her to turn to him for comfort and strength.

A thousand bright smiles in return.

"I mean a walk… could we go for a walk or something… just a short one".

"Course", he replied gruffly, he found her hand and took it slowly in his, entwining their fingers.

"Erm… can I wear a hoody or..?"

She sounded shy, and she knew this was just Noah, but she couldn't help it.

She was hyperaware of her near nakedness, the fact that she was wearing nothing underneath the large t shirt, that admittedly nearly reached her knees, but did nothing to alleviate the heat of his proximity, just a single layer of thin cotton separating his bare chest from hers.

She wet her suddenly dry lips with her tongue.

He was just so _warm_. And so _inviting_.

He was staring at her, and she didn't trust herself to meet his gaze, fighting every urge to claw her fingers down his chest and attack his hot mouth.

"Yeah, yeah… I got some trackies as well… well, they'll probably be a bit big…"

She took a breath.

"Do you have any boxer shorts? Cos the elastic might be more… elastic…"

_Oh_. The thought of her wearing his underwear, and he had been significantly affected by the thought of her compact little body swimming in his huge hoody.

He clamped his jaw and turned away hastily, rubbing his eyes as though that would dissipate the desire he was sure was obvious in them.

She was sat on his bed ready by the time he'd finished faffing about with nothing on his desk, and although he could barely see his grey boxers poking out from under the giant green hoody, he knew they were there, knew the soft fabric was caressing her most intimate areas.

"Thanks for lending me the clothes", she said quietly, and the distance wasn't doing anything to calm her desire, it was dark in the room, and his eyes were black in the shadows.

"You're welcome", he returned gruffly, allowing himself to close the gap between them and hold out his hand for hers. "Where do you want to go".

_Anywhere with you, just don't leave me_.

It was too late though, he was already closer than anyone had ever been before.

Before it got to this point, she had usually pushed them away already, with her unfaltering determination or unwillingness to include anything other than her Plan in her life.

Pushed them away on purpose? Maybe, a little. Because that way, she was in control of when they drifted out of her life, she would never be horribly surprised, and she would never let anyone down.

"You sure you want to go for a walk?" Noah asked her gently, rubbing his thumb back and forth across her knuckles. "We can just… snuggle".

She stood up and found herself brought very close up to him again, and chastised herself for being annoyed at the now additional barriers of his hoody, and the t shirt he had pulled on.

"Can we do that after a quick walk?"

"That would be great", he stuttered, hoping it was raining cold rain outside, but realising that would probably be just as bad, Rachel all wet and…

He pushed his lips to hers, screwing his eyes almost painfully shut as her mouth melted in reciprocation, and the way she leaned into him, willing him to move his lips in a slow caress of her mouth.

So he did, simultaneously sucking in a deep shaking breath.

He felt the beginnings of a whimper struggle in his throat as they pulled apart, and he hastily swallowed.

"Shall we?" He murmured, his voice dropped an octave.

Rachel nodded fervently.

"We shall".

* * *

Please review :)


	36. Chapter 36

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 36**

It wasn't raining, and Puck was unsure whether he was grateful or unhappy about that.

He opted for somewhere in the middle, making the most of the fact that it actually felt like he and Rachel were the only two people in the world, walking outside around the building block, indestructible in their togetherness.

"Rach?" He asked after a while. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing".

He narrowed his eyes, but it was dark and the effect was completely lost.

"You can tell me", he tried. "I might be able to help".

"It's just silly", she said airily, "It's nothing".

"It's obviously not nothing", he pointed out, "And if it's bothering you then it's bothering me".

He could worry all the time about whether or not he did and said the right things, whether he was able to live up to her high expectations she had of him.

But when it came down to it, the best thing to do just seemed to be what felt lie the right thing to say/do at the time.

"That's really sweet Noah", Rachel mumbled, but didn't elaborate on what was evidently playing on her mind.

He squeezed her hand, and dropped a haphazard kiss onto the top of her sleep mussed hair.

"Did someone do something to upset you?" He asked, pushing slightly, because there was a fluttering anxiety in his stomach over her sombre silence.

And yes, it was the middle of the night and she was probably tired, but it was something more than that. Something that was something to do with the way she was subconsciously holding his hand so tightly it almost hurt.

"Did _I_ do something to upset you?"

She caught the terror in his voice, and could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain as he ran through and analysed anything that he could possibly have done wrong.

Was she upset that he had caused her to spill milkshake all down her top because he had ran up to her the second he had spotted her in the cafeteria on the morning he had returned from his nana's?

He hadn't even noticed she was holding a drink, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her fully on the mouth, forgetting in that moment that they were standing in the middle of the cafeteria.

She had assured him countless times that it was okay, and he had thought it had been worth it for her smiling face, pink with embarrassment, and the way she had kissed him back with equal enthusiasm.

"No! No, it's not… well, it is… but, no it isn't".

"Rach, slow down! You're not making any sense!"

She turned to him, and he almost gasped because her beautiful face was illuminated perfectly in the streetlight, and he really didn't tell her enough how beautiful she was, but he ran the risk of mentioning it in every sentence he ever spoke to her.

He worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hey", he murmured, "it's alright, it's just me here, you can tell me… if you want".

Her bottom lip wobbled dangerously.

"I'm scared Noah".

"Scared? There's nothing to be scared of… you're going to be awesome at the audition… and if it's some creepy dude then, as your totally badass boyfriend, just point him out and his creeping days are over".

She gave him a watery smile.

"What if I get it?" She whispered.

"What if you… you're scared that you'll get it? But… why?"

They'd stopped walking now, and Puck gave in to the temptation to hug her tight to his body, pressing light kisses to her cheek.

"I had a dream… and… and then you weren't there…"

He frowned, a surge of anger at his dream self.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged helplessly, a stray tear rolling slowly down her cheek.

He brushed it hastily away with a rough thumb, and kissed where it had been, as though to remove the traces of sadness.

"I want it so badly", she said her voice wavering with a lifetime of ambition in her statement. "I've wanted to be on a Broadway stage forever".

"You'll get there", he assured her, and his own throat was constricting because maybe he finally understood what it was like to want something so much.

Since he met Rachel, he'd starting wanting a lot of things he never thought he would.

He kissed the side of her quivering mouth, and briefly on the lips.

"I'm just so scared", she repeated, hands fisting at his t shirt and looking earnestly up at him.

She was scared of leaving behind the routine of education, scared of being swept up in the real world as the lost little girl she still was inside.

And she was terrified that she would lose Noah, not when they were so close to realising what they had, not when she'd finally started understanding what it meant to really truly mean a show smile.

"I'll help you", he murmured against her forehead, squeezing her tight again. "You've helped me so much… if I have to be up in the middle of the night running through lines, and however many times you need to practise the songs".

"You'll be there?"

Her question was so timid, he almost snorted incredulously.

"Course I'll be there!"

If she was there, anywhere, he was there and everywhere.

It just had to happen like that.

It just had to.

Rachel had gone so long thinking it was better not to need anyone, and now to need this one person so much she didn't know how to tell him, didn't think there were the right words in existence.

"Okay", she said.

Maybe it was okay to rely on other people sometimes.

Besides, Noah was different.

"You are doing this Rach… you deserve it so much".

"No", she said firmly, and his face fell, and she could sense him building up another angle to try.

He mouth stretched into a smile, and she leaned in to press a soft kiss to his downturned lips.

"No- _we_ are doing this".

Any further comment was smothered by his hot mouth descending on hers and filling gaps that words couldn't fill with kisses.

* * *

Please review :)


	37. Chapter 37

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thanks for the reviews and subscribing and favouriting! Sorry it's such a short chapter, life is completely mental at the moment.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 37**

Rachel woke up slowly, a blush burning onto her face at the familiarity of the position she found herself in, curled up in Noah's bed, his arms comfortably around her, and his warm chest pressed against her back.

She smiled contentedly, remembering the way Noah had half carried her back to his room when her tiredness caught up with her, and the way he had laid her so gently on his bed when she was half asleep, pressed kisses to her forehead and clambered in beside her.

She twisted carefully round to face him, unfastening his arms for around her, and propping herself up on her elbow to watch him sleep.

He looked so vulnerable like that, his lips pouted and dreams flickering across his face, and she found herself shuffling forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

He murmured sleepily, his eyelids fluttering, and mumbled something that sounded like her name.

"Noah? Are you awake?"

"No…"

His warm hand pushed against the small of her back, holding her into him.

"Yes you are", she laughed.

He grumbled, his lips feeling blindly for hers as he refused to open his eyes.

He found them, brushing barely-there kisses to her mouth, then leaning back and gradually opening his eyes to lazily taking in the sight he wanted right then more than anything to wake up to every morning.

"What?"

"Nothin'".

"You're staring".

"S'your fault".

Her eyebrow quirked up in silent question.

"Really? How?"

He squirmed slightly, because this whole 'being in touch with his feelings' thing was still new to him and still daunting, even if she was there to smile at him and make it all worthwhile.

"Cos you're gorgeous babe", he stated, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She said nothing, her bottom lip wobbling before she bit it hard.

The way he said it was so raw and fresh, and even though it wasn't the first time he'd complimented her so genuinely, her throat was suddenly dry.

"You _are_", he emphasised, more softly. "You're hair's all over the place and you're all… crinkled… from sleepin' and you're…"

She didn't let him finish, her hands on the sides of his face and crushing their lips together to kiss him with a hunger desperate to show him the strength of her returned feelings.

He groaned as they parted for air, latching his lips to her warm neck, and slowly, tantalisingly slowly to cover her body with his.

His brain fogged more quickly than he could control, the dreams he had just awakened from merging indistinguishably with the reality.

Her moan into his mouth was his undoing, her small hands all over his hard chest, her fingertips clawing at the dancing muscles.

He pushed her hips against hers, pressing her further into the mattress and slipping his hot tongue over the tip of hers.

She arched against him, and comprehensive thought flew across the room to the window by Finn's bed.

Finn's bed. In which Finn was sleeping.

"_Rach_", it came out in a needy, harsh tone that reflected the turmoil of raw desire he was struggling with for the beautiful woman twisting eagerly beneath him.

He hastily moved his hands back to firmly grip her hips, diverting their course to her inner thighs, parted and soft skin eager for his touch.

She merely continued to kiss softly at the junction of his neck, her fingers doing criminally wicked things to his burning skin wherever they touched.

She attempted a frustrated 'what?' but the word never properly formed as his smouldering eyes bore deep into hers, falling as an incomprehensible noise from her open mouth with her rapid breathes.

On her second attempt she managed his name, stuttered and thick with want.

"We can't do this right now".

Her body froze, and he felt her tense beneath her, saw the panic expel the lustful haze of her expression, and himself felt a sickening feeling that she would ever think he would reject her.

"No, Rach… Rach, I want you… _God_ I want you... and I really want this… it's not that- it's Finn- he's right over there and he may be able to sleep through a tornado but…"

She relaxed instantly, her breath leaving her in a rush across his prickling skin, and he kissed her forehead messily with an almost relief.

"But?" She asked quietly.

He lowered his lips to be a centimetre from hers.

"But you're mine", he informed her, and the mixture of possessiveness and protectiveness in his voice sent a shiver down her spine. "And this… this is just for us".

To prove his point he set a reverent kiss on her lips, watching her carefully as he pulled away, tugging slightly on her bottom lip with his teeth.

Her face broke into a smile.

He rolled off her, onto his back, pulling her into his side, and she instinctively nestled there, slinging one arm comfortably across him.

And he grinned inanely at the ceiling because he'd never been so intimate with someone, physical and emotional intimacy combined only with her, and because it was only just the beginning.

* * *

Please Review :)


	38. Chapter 38

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Having some technological issues with computers and viruses and such… sorry, I'm trying to sort it out. In the meantime, here's a new chapter at last :S Also, it should be noted that we have already met/heard of Paul in the story :)

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and subscribed,

Bree

* * *

Rachel could tell something was wrong from the second she met him just before lunch.

He was standing at the bench on the corner of the street next to that tree in a pot that was shaped like a penis (his description, not hers), and just the way he had his hands rammed deep into the pockets of his jeans was odd.

He was just so… fidgety.

He kissed her lightly on the lips in greeting, and the warmth was genuine, but he was obviously distracted.

She didn't demand his full attention, never expected it, but he usually gave her it anyway, and she would often catch him just watching her, and grinning as a blush graced her features as their eyes met.

"Hey babe".

"Hey", she faltered, not knowing whether she should pry, wondering if it was better to wait to see if he mentioned anything.

They were learning together about all this, and she wasn't about to rush anything, not when everything so far had been so easy.

An easy progression from friendship to more. An easy admittance that this was different to what she had felt before, an independence and a dependence with Noah that was absolutely nothing like the see-sawing obsessional relationship with Finn.

"Can we go to that sandwich place?" She asked, feeling bereft without the warmth of his large hand around hers, and feeling an irrational jealousy of his left jeans pocket.

"Is that the one where you chose the fillings?" Puck's attention was momentarily diverted to the image of Rachel attempting to open her mouth around a long, large, multi-layered savoury dream.

He pinched his thigh as hard as he could through his pocket, hoping the pain would keep his mind in control of his body.

He wondered how she was so totally unaware of just how sexy she was without even trying.

He vowed to tell her exactly just how sexy as soon as they were ready to take such discussions further.

He caught her look of anxiety, and immediately felt guilty, pulling his hand firmly from his pocket, the cellphone he left in there an ominous dead weight.

Her shoulders relaxed as he took her hand, and he joined in her thoughts on the plans to put on a musical in the performing arts department, not being able to offer any suggestions, but smiling at the way her face lit up as she described in great detail the pros and cons of each of her favourites.

She was planning for the future just like she always had done. But now, she wasn't fixated on a certain path in life, wasn't blocking out the allowance for spontaneity or changes of plan.

She didn't dare think further than her audition in terms of Broadway, even though in her dreams, she was living in a run-down apartment with a dripping tap and a tap dancing pimp next door.

She had no money, the life wasn't all sun and rainbows and birds singing, but she was _there_, auditioning for every role she could, and getting the odd small speaking part.

And when she returned home after a busy day, Noah was lounging on the couch in their apartment strumming his guitar and she would snuggle into him and wonder how she ever thought she could be happy before she knew him.

He said he wasn't going anywhere and she believed him.

He made a stellar effort to ignore himself, and managed to all the time they chatted and laughed and everything was fine.

It was only when they were sitting in the corner booth that his anxiety returned with a vengeance, since he was having to not give Rachel all his attention when her tongue poked out to retrieve the salsa that had strayed beneath her bottom lip.

Her perfect moist tongue, delicately pushing through her teeth and sliding over her pink lips…

It was a painful combination of inappropriate arousal and the dread of falling back into the way things were with one bad decision.

It was a way of life he had spent most of his life living.

But now he was actually _alive_, seeing the world in a way that had never really been revealed to him before.

He had ignored the little things before. They hadn't seemed so important when he had other things on his mind.

He had ignored a lot of things before.

But Rachel helped him see things, and he didn't want to lose this ability.

He didn't want to lose _her_, and that thought terrified him the most.

"Are you nervous about the audition?" She asked him.

He put down his sandwich, chewing the large mouthful slowly.

She was giving him an easy way out, something to explain why he was acting so skittish. Something that would stop her thinking that he was keeping something from her.

But if he answered yes he would be lying.

And he didn't want to lie to her.

"I'm not nervous", he replied, with a slight reluctance. "I'm looking forward to seeing their faces after we totally melt their brains with the amazingly awesome performance".

She laughed, and for the moment, it was forgotten again.

But she knew him well, and minutes later, she sensed the cloud of uneasiness on his conscience again.

"Is there somewhere you need to go Noah?" She asked gently.

He shifted from foot to foot.

"Nope", he replied eventually.

There was an uneasy pause.

"I told you I'm not going anywhere", he murmured.

She nodded.

"Okay, but you know you can talk to me if anything's wrong, right?"

"Yeah, thanks".

He winced internally, and a bitter taste flooded his mouth.

Because she was the one person he longed to talk to about this, longed to take the weight of worry off his chest and knew for certain that she could offer sympathy and comfort that no one else could.

But he couldn't bring himself to risk failing in her eyes.

She saw him as some sort of hero, the guy who he wanted to be.

He wanted to be her hero.

But he wasn't.

He was just some mess up who didn't know how to respond to a text that at one time he would have seen as an opportunity, rather than be terrified as though it was a death threat.

She offered him a small smile which he couldn't return, instead glancing down to check his phone for the millionth time that day.

It still said the same thing.

And he still didn't know what to do.

**Paul: m in town. need ur help wiv somethin. wer we gunna meet?**

* * *

Please review :)


	39. Chapter 39

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Dear readers, we are gradually nearing the end of this fic, and I want to thank every one of you (and cyber cookies to those who review) who has read this story so far.

I've never written so much before, and I couldn't have done it without your support.

And 200 reviews :DDD ! Thank you for your comments and support :')

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 39**

"Hey Rach, hang on Dad, Rachel Berry has just come round, no carry on it's alright- you don't mind do you Rach? – we won't be that long… I'm trying to describe the cut of pants he needs to buy…"

Rachel smiled knowingly, feeling sympathy for Kurt's dad, knowing how particular Kurt could be in his respect for the good of fashion.

Though she was of the opinion that his view on fashion was far superior to hers, and felt she would mostly trust his judgement… so long as there was a limit on the number of sequins involved.

A low limit.

Kurt hung up the phone after a few more minutes, and was silent, opening his mouth and closing it again, as though he wanted to tell Rachel something, but wasn't quite sure if he should, or if he could.

"Alright Kurt? Are you ready to go? We were going to meet Mercedes out there, and Tina just text me to say she'll be there a little late, but to save her a seat…"

She trailed off at Kurt's expression, feeling uneasy under his calculating gaze.

"Kurt?"

"I have to tell you something", he rushed out.

Her eyes widened.

"Okay…"

"Before I tell you, I need to say something first…" He took a deep breath, and Rachel was made even more nervous about what he was going to tell her.

Scenarios flashed through her mind: was he going to tell her he couldn't take part in her audition performance?

"Look, I am going to be brutally honest", he admitted, sitting slowly on the middle of his bed and patting the space beside him, gesturing her to sit down too.

"I would consider you, Rachel Berry, a good friend of mine, okay?"

She nodded, still unsure of where he was going.

"It may seem as though our personalities should clash, that so much ambition could not exist in the same friendship… but I really wrongly estimated you as a person. You shouldn't judge people by first appearances, I know that, more now, and it seems the same is true of Mr Puckerman".

Rachel's nervousness rocketed.

"What I'm trying to tell you is I think that you two being together has really been the best thing that's ever happened to either of you, and I need you to understand that I strongly believe this, and although it might take some work, nothing should get in the way of that".

He paused again, and the feeling of dread in Rachel's stomach tightened.

"You're scaring me Kurt", she admitted quietly.

He visibly winced.

"Rachel… Noah Puckerman stole a car from my dad's garage a few years ago… the only reason it didn't go on his permanent record was because it for some reason was returned to him, and my dad had him washing cars for the best part of the summer for no pay".

Rachel looked at him.

"Okay", she said, drawing out the word, "Now are you ready or what, because this is the first time I'm going to get to see my man play football, and I need to be there a bit early so that Tina can try and explain the rules to me…"

"Are you mad at me for telling you? Wait, Rachel, what…"

She turned and took a sharp intake of breath.

"I'm not mad at you for telling me, thank you for telling me… you probably think this sounds weird, but it really doesn't make any difference to me whether you told me or not".

This was such a revelation that she felt herself beaming at Kurt, who just stared back at her in stupefaction.

"Huh?"

She shrugged, because she herself wasn't really sure how to explain it.

And, in what had since become a rare occurrence, she felt herself thinking back about her relationship with Finn, and how she had always needed to know exactly what he was doing, how they had his and hers calenders with their every movement known to each other.

How she had spent several evening with his mother, poring over old photos and listening to stories about him, and how she had begun to spin stories they would have together in the future.

She knew Noah would tell her anything he felt she needed to know, anything he felt that would effect her, or them.

She just knew he would.

He wouldn't intentionally keep things from her that she needed to know.

Of his past, she could already piece together a few things here and there, but she didn't feel any urges to fill in the gaps.

He'd done some things that even the 'new' Rachel wouldn't approve of, but that was done.

He couldn't go back and undo them, and he probably wouldn't even want to, for most of them.

He wouldn't be the person he was without them.

She certainly didn't want the course of history to change, not if that meant she wouldn't have met him.

So she just shrugged.

Kurt shook his head in amazement, with more than a hint of fascination.

* * *

Puck headed straight up into the stands after the game, needing to thank his girl immediately for cheering him on so enthusiastically in all the right (and most of the wrong) places.

He didn't know if he could play all his games with her watching him though, it was distracting to say the least, and he found himself playing harder than he'd ever played, just to make her proud to sit there wearing his college jacket.

But while that sounded like a good thing, he was pretty sure two of his fingers were going to be black the next day, and he had cuts on his cheeks from where his helmet had been slammed against his face.

He almost fell up the stairs when he realised that although it was probably quite romantic, or something, to be kissing his girlfriend before the rest of the players had even left the field, he was suddenly incredibly aware of how sweaty and dirty he was.

He was just trying to work out what to do about that, when a blur of brunette collided with him, attempting to wrap small arms around him.

"Rach?" he asked, hopefully.

"Noah you didn't tell me you were so good at football! If you weren't on the team, you would have lost by _way more_ than you did!"

"Thanks babe".

She let go of him, blinking up at him with shining eyes.

Her expression faltered.

"Noah, you would tell me anything I needed to know wouldn't you?"

Puck briefly thought of the still unanswered text, and the people in his life he didn't want or need, and the person in his life now that he wanted and needed the most.

Decisively, he cupped her face in a muddy hand, so gently to try and avoid rubbing too much mud onto her face.

"Yeah, I would", he confirmed, kissing her softly, willingly deepening the kiss as her small hands tugged on his neck to bring him closer.

Fire danced behind his eyelids and his heart swelled with adoration.

Because he would.

They pulled apart with identical grins, and she gave him a gentle push, a small encouragement to go shower.

Because as much as she loved him, he had blood all over his face and mud caking his skin.

She was too engrossed in watching him disappear into the changing rooms to register her own thoughts.

* * *

Please review :)


	40. Chapter 40

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: 2 more chapters probably, some loose ends to tie up, and an important audition :) Thank you to all old and new readers of this story, and particular thanks to reviewers.

This chapter may be a bit confusing, switching between povs, but I have tried to separate it clearly.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 40**

It was the last rehearsal.

This was it.

All their hard work, all their preparation, all the friendships made and set in stone, and they had 1 rehearsal until that very afternoon, when the future would be decided.

Except, really, Rachel knew that wasn't the case.

The moment that had decided her future wasn't going to be the moment the judges told her 'yes' or 'no'.

It was instead more of a series of moments, and all of those moments had been (and would be) between her and Noah.

"Rach? Have you seen Puck this morning? We should probably get going in a second, 'cos Mike and Matt have got a class…"

Rachel turned to Artie, a frown forming on her face.

"He text me good morning", she said, unable to stop the corners of her mouth twitching into a small smile, "But I haven't actually seen him yet, I said I'd meet him here…"

"Okay, well, he's probably just running late", Artie shrugged, "We'll start in 5 minutes if he's still not here? Then he can join in when he gets here".

Rachel nodded, the frown of confusion setting deeper on her face.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Paul shrugged, a cocky, non-explanative shrug.

"You didn't answer my text… What happened bro? You gunna talk to me or what? We used to do everything together man!"

Puck winced internally.

"You gunna talk to Matt or Santana?" He asked quietly.

Paul made an angry noise in the back of this throat.

"Let's walk", he said, and it wasn't a question, and Puck was drawn in again by the way Paul could just brush off emotions like they didn't exist, as if he never had to face them again.

He wouldn't be long, he promised himself.

The guy just needed someone to talk to.

* * *

Rachel finished the song, smiling gratefully at Artie, and casting the millionth longing look to the door.

She had expected him to turn up just before they started, probably having slept late, his beautiful face crumpled in weariness.

She had wanted him to burst in half way through, sprint over to the stage and join seamlessly in, their voices blending perfectly as they did.

She had needed him to text or ring her, tell him where he was, to reassure her, it was strangely unnerving for him not to be there.

As the others left to get to class, or to lunch, calling out various 'see you laters', she sat cross legged at the front of the stage, and there was a warmth missing beside her, and the cold fingers of fear gripped her heart.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Puck's question was fierce, met only with a smirk from the guy he barely recognised beside him.

He wanted to believe that they would have a conversation about how they have both changed, and share notes, and laugh about what they once were and smile with gratitude about the choices they had made.

But Paul hadn't changed.

Paul had no intention of making amend with his family, had sought out Puck, needing the old Puck to help him.

Paul still thought nothing of consequences and blocked out emotions with a stony exterior and an iron fist.

"It's not hard", he taunted, "You've done this before Puckerman… Just keep a look out okay? I'll take this stuff and next time I'll give you some money… you know how it works?"

It didn't work.

They always both lost, credibility, righteousness, the ability to escape with a clean name.

Puck looked around him, they had come to an alley way that he didn't recognise, the street at the other end busy with cars.

He could almost envisage the car screeching to a halt, Paul running over and making an exchange, Paul disappearing and Puck left standing at the gap in the wall, his heart beating in his mouth at any movement of heads of people walking past that could have been directed towards him.

Maybe somewhere inside him, Paul was capable of seeing the world differently, but Puck wouldn't have the time or strength to make him find it, not when the man was practically a solid wall of muscle.

The scars on his face and chest weren't from just falling over.

He looked around again.

He had to get to rehearsal.

He had to get to Rachel, leave all this behind once and for all, and just tell her already…

Paul was staring expectantly at him.

The coldness of his eyes stirred both resentment and regret in his heart.

"I know how it works", he said slowly.

"Good", Paul said shortly, his face melting into a smile that Puck no longer believed was genuine friendship.

Puck took his position on the wall, his mind working overtime, his eyes hurting from darting around so quickly.

He spotted the car before Paul signalled him, a car that obviously didn't belong to the driver, a sleek black Bentley with a loud roaring energy.

He closed his eyes, the vivid image of Rachel's beaming smile conjuring up without any effort.

And he ran.

The car was still far enough away from Paul's hiding place for him not to check on him, he ran down the sidewalk, legs shaking at the importance of their role.

Paul was good. Even in a city that wasn't his own, he had managed to arrange everything so carefully. This particular spot was far away from most prying eyes, the streets lined with parked cars rather than the shopping public.

He cursed under his breath and clenched his fists.

And he ran back before Paul could spot that he'd left, a terrible sickness in his heart.

The car drew up.

Puck closed his eyes again.

If he followed his heart on this one, if he even managed to do anything, it could all circle back to bite him in the butt, since he was technically involved, even if he was never deemed trustworthy enough to be completely integral in any 'job'.

But he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had to do something.

He couldn't just stand there, not when he knew now that he would always hate himself for not trying to do anything, not at least trying to redeem himself, even if he couldn't redeem Paul as well.

Everything from that point seemed to happen in slow motion.

"Puckerman, what the fuck? Is someone there?"

Puck had no idea what he was doing.

"Yup- copper… look I have a plan".

Paul raised his eyebrow, the package in his hand, his hand poised to slam the door.

"Jump in the car- get the fuck out of here… Give me the package, I can get it someplace safe… Look I know people in the city alright?"

Unconvinced, Paul's hold tightened.

"Shit Paul, you don't have much time… get the fuck out, I can do this- you want me to help you out again or what? It'll be easier with two – you know it".

"Puckerman I hope you realise you are a dead man if you screw this up", Paul said, in a low dangerous voice so that Puck would know he was serious.

Puck barely dared to breathe.

Paul pushed the package into Puck's hoody pocket, jumping into the car.

Puck hoped that he wouldn't rub any fingerprints off when he moved.

The car pulled away slowly, and Puck realised he still didn't have a plan, and his imagination was just about all used up.

He walked down the sidewalk, suddenly spotting a traffic cop leaning over a car about a hundred metres in front of him.

Without thinking, his feet began to run.

He could put an end to this for good, starting completely fresh with no connections to his past was within his reach.

The blood pounding in his ears was louder than the engine of the car behind him, but the slam of the car door was not.

His head flicked round just in time to meet Paul's fist, the blow perfectly executed, and he fell to the pavement, unable to even block his fall.

* * *

Please review :)


	41. Chapter 41

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Thank you for the constructive comments on the last chapter, I'm glad you guys picked up on the way it stood out differently from the rest of the story, and I hope it becomes clear why I did that.

In short, I felt Noah needed a chance to prove to _himself_, when he had already proved to everyone else, that he was good enough, and that he was a changed man, who was worthy of loving Rachel, and worthy of being loved by Rachel.

And hopefully I haven't lost all faith :S

(The next and last chapter should also be up within a couple of days, as I wrote all these three at once so I could post before I go off on holiday!)

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 41**

"Son? Son, can you hear me?"

Puck's head swam, and he struggled to break the surface, his eyes opening as a wave of nausea had him retching.

"Dad?"

His eyes opened, blanching at the brightness of the daylight, and the stern face of the man knelt down beside him who certainly wasn't his dad, smiled sympathetically.

"What's your name son? Your address? Telephone number? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Noah Puckerman", he said, running off the address and telephone number of his ma's house as though he was in junior school and had just learnt it off by heart.

"3".

Pain surged through him as he attempted to lift his head up, and he gasped.

"_Rachel_".

"Nah mate, my name's Brian… don't worry, you're gunna be alright, but we gotta get you to hospital…"

* * *

"Can you ask them to wait for 5 minutes?" Rachel said desperately, her eyes wide with terror.

"I'll go", Mercedes cut in, pushing past Mike and muttering darkly to him about 'kicking that Puckerman's butt'. "Tina!"

Tina was at Rachel's side in a second, shoving a handful of tissues in her face.

"You can do this girl", she said, "We're all here to help you".

But everyone wasn't there.

And really, to her, it was as though no one was there.

She couldn't do it without him.

She could sing and she could dance on her own, and she could sing and dance her audition on her own.

But she couldn't go to Broadway and live her dreams without him.

Not anymore.

"I… I can't", she stuttered, "I need Noah".

"I don't know where he is Rach", she said, with imploring honesty, "Matt and Mike have been ringing every 5 seconds but his phone is turned off".

"He has to be here", she argued weakly.

Was this what stage fright felt like? Or was this the overwhelming fear that Noah had gone?

Artie rolled over.

"Rach- we can do this, and besides, they won't be looking at us will they? They'll be looking at you- it's your audition… I know we're not Puckerman, but we are your friends, and everyone is rooting for you, even if this is just a practise audition, you're ready for this".

She swallowed shakily.

"I just need a minute okay".

Tina and Artie shared a look.

"Okay, then we're rolling", Artie said heavily.

Rachel clenched her fists in her lap, stood, up, and went to stand just outside the side door of the auditorium, taking deep calming breaths through the hurt inside her.

Maybe she was too dependent on him? Maybe he had even done this on purpose, to show that she could do it without him?

Her brow furrowed.

She didn't want to do this without him.

Didn't want to do anything without him.

She loved him.

She _loved_ him.

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

"Thanks Bri", Puck said weakly, turning a watery smile to his new friend. "I swear I'll pay you back for this man".

Brian rolled his eyes, slowly letting go of the young man, and wincing as he did.

"I can't believe I did that", he said incredulously. "I really shouldn't have- you have a cracked rib and possible fractured jaw… and I just talked them into letting you out of hospital for an hour".

Puck shrugged.

"I can open my mouth to sing, and I can hold a guitar", he said matter of factly. "As long as no one tries to hug me- I probably won't pass out for the most important 5 minutes…"

"Are you sure you're alright? - I'm sure she'd understand…"

"I didn't do all this to sit in hospital while she sings her heart out", he said gruffly. "The hero doesn't get beat up, help the police catch some assholes, and then let the girl go".

He really could be her hero.

The distance to travel between him and the stage suddenly seemed like miles.

Brian laughed dryly.

"She must be some girl".

"You have no idea", Puck said wistfully, thanking Brian with a nod for holding the door open.

"Chang!"

Mike stopped pacing, looking up with at first a face of disbelief, which quickly turned to anger.

"Where the hell have you been Puckerman! Talk about turning up at the eleventh hour!"

"It doesn't matter", came the rushed reply.

Because it didn't. What mattered was that he was going to be there for Rachel, and the concreted knowledge that he was good enough to stay there for always, just like he wanted and _needed _to be.

Puck stumbled slightly, and Brian rushed forward to hold his arm.

He clutched his chest, his face wrought in pain.

"This is not a good idea", Brian muttered darkly, looking up at the ceiling in mercy.

"Get Rutherford", Puck gritted out. "I've got to be there for my girl".

Mike's mouth hung open, but he waved Matt over, and the two of them managed to help Puck onto the stage, the rest of the group talking in nervous stage whispers, falling completely silent as he propped himself up in a chair just off centre of the stage.

Artie brought him his guitar.

"Puckerman- I… "

"Can you tell Rach I'm here", he said, and then, his face screwing up. "Fuck m' rib's definitely cracked, painkiller's shit…"

In the tense quiet that followed, there was much scurrying backstage, and Puck could just about make out the blurry faces of the judges sitting in the front row, and probably tried to wave at the football team, and all the people Santana had likely dragged off the street to come and watch.

But everything was blurry, and he couldn't make out Finn waving back, or Brian taking a seat in the audience, and he definitely didn't register everyone moving onto the stage.

Until one small voice spoke up behind him.

"Noah?"

He turned his head, the pain exploding in bursts of white, but overshadowed by the agony he felt at the traces of tears on Rachel's cheeks.

"'M right here babe", he whispered. "We got this".

Her anxious face melted away to the first genuine show smile of her life as she turned to the audience and held her hand up in signal for the music.

* * *

Please review :)


	42. Chapter 42

You Didn't Tell Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Drum roll please, for a soft and squishy ending….

I had originally planned for there to be a bit more detail here, but I left most of it out, because I liked it better that way, a bit more open.

Thanks for everything.

Bree

* * *

**Chapter 42**

"_I never…"_

The last note faded away, and the spotlight dimmed, and his brain screamed in relief because he'd made it, clung to consciousness and managed to sing.

But really, the performance had come naturally to him when Rachel had turned that million dollar smile towards him, took his shaking hand and sacrificed a large portion of her part of the routine to instead just stand there and sing with him like that.

The others made up for it though, the energy on the stage carrying him through, Mike leading the choreography like he was born to, and the song taking on a whole different meaning from their show.

He was awake long enough to hear and see the standing ovation, to feel the few tears form in the corner of his eye, and long enough to realise that _they had done it._

And they were all jumping around on the stage and shouting and cheering, but they would just have to come over to his girl to tell her how amazing she was because he was not going to let go of her.

Because he was strong enough. He knew he wouldn't.

* * *

He woke up in a hospital bed, and his throat was dry and scratchy and his body numb all over, but none of this seemed important, as he was desperately fighting off the weariness to find…

"You're awake!"

…Rachel.

Somehow he had the strength to grab her wrist, and pull her roughly from the chair she was sitting in, and bring her as close as he could to him.

It was a completely natural reaction.

He wanted her close to him.

In his foggy situation she beat him to it, her hands warm and so incredibly soft either side of his face, caressing the stubbly skin, and leaning forward just slightly to press her lips to his, openly, expressively, lovingly.

He shifted, wishing he could roll over and have her body encased by his, instead ignoring the sharp pain to lift his arm and twist his fingers in her hair, drowning, falling.

"Rach", he murmured, tracing her mouth with ghosts of kisses, before dropping to her neck, hot breath on her skin as he held her as best he could, with one arm and the good left side of his chest.

"We're going to Broadway Noah", she said in hushed tones, as though if she said it any louder it would no longer be true.

"Yeah we are", he grinned, and she chatted excitedly about how the people auditioning her had ordered a meeting with her director of studies immediately, seeking permission to take her on in a small role whilst she finished her degree, and then snapping her up the second she graduated, with lots of larger roles in mind already.

The theatre company involved had apparently taken the contacts of others involved in the audition, particularly noting Mike for his dancing, and had promised to keep in touch.

He loved the way her face glowed when she spoke, the way her delicate touch sought to rub away the cuts and bruises she encountered on his skin.

Rachel told him how she had rode with him in the ambulance with Brian, and how Santana had been the one to take down all the details of the theatre company, and make sure everything was organised, and how everyone had rang up since, asking how he was.

Friends who really cared.

He learnt that they were celebrating with a pizza and x-box pyjama party the next day, and he grinned despite himself, because snuggled up in some duvets with Rachel seemed like the perfect way to rest and recuperate.

She paused then, and he nuzzled at her chin.

"I can't believe you persuaded Brian to talk you out of hospital- when you'd had a shot of _morphine_ Noah!"

He gulped, "I was fine", he lied.

She snorted. "No you weren't- you were all shaky and sweaty!"

"I was fine when I saw you", he mumbled under his breath.

Rachel, subdued by his admission, said nothing.

"It was worth it", he said, slightly louder, "It was totally worth it".

There was a short silence, and he wished he could twist and watch the emotions dance in her chocolate eyes.

"Are you mad?" He ventured.

She shook her head fervently.

"You said you would be there and you were", she said firmly. "People always say things happen for a reason, and if that reason is us…. Then I guess I believe it".

Her voice broke slightly.

"Noah… I'm so happy", she whispered, "Thank you".

"Right back at you babe", his bravado was cracked and completely see through, but he wasn't worried anymore, wasn't worried about what she might see.

Because she wasn't going anywhere either.

"Brian said you loved me more than anything", she said, shyly. "You didn't tell me you love me".

And maybe Brian hadn't told her the full story, and maybe she would never know, but it didn't matter because he was there now.

They were there now.

"I do", he said hoarsely, without a second's hesitation.

She gave a sort of muffled squeaking sound.

He sniffed.

"Yeah… Rach I love you… and _damn_, as soon as my rib's fused back together and whatever, and as long as my jaw's gone down a bit… I would really, really like to show you".

"Yeah?"

She covered his face in tiny kisses, each one firmer, until reaching his mouth and laying one on his lips, with utmost care not to press hard on his jaw with her stroking fingers.

"Yeah is that okay?"

She giggled, and his heart melted at the sound, wishing he could move further over on the bed so that she could at least lie more comfortably beside him.

He pulled her lips to his, kissing her fiercely, pouring all the love for her into the kiss.

All his love for the amazing girl that had been the inspiration he needed, the determination he needed, and the love he never knew existed.

He drew apart for breath, his chest heaving, but the pain dulled by the heat and peace and love that embracede him like an invincibility blanket.

"You didn't tell me you love me", he said, breathless and laughing.

Rachel had never been this happy.

She didn't have the leading role, she had something better, a few lines now and a future career on Broadway.

She didn't have the leading man, she had her battered and bruised hero, the love of her life, the man who would fight to be at her side and would make it more than worthwhile fighting to keep him there.

"I love you", she told him.

And maybe her dreams really had come true.

It certainly felt like they had.

* * *

The end

* * *

Please review :)


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